DePuy Synthes 4 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The DePuy Synthes 4 Mile

1. Divide and Conquer

I think that the months of June, July and August are the best months for my chances of an elusive victory in a race. The modern runner is unlikely to run more than one race in a week so any week with more than one race on means there’s always a chance I’ll turn up and win. I would be better if I was good enough to win the races by being faster but that would require significant training and minding of oneself which I’m not willing to do.

2. Parking Cones

I think that this is the second year in a row where I got the best parking spot for this race. The trick is to find the gap in the traffic cones. If there are no cones it’s fair game. It turned out that my spot was the startline which was unexpected as last year the race started a bit further back the road.

3. There’s No Gavin

I think that I was very disappointed to see Gavin O’Rourke. Gavin is a lovely fella but I’d prefer if he had minded himself for Courtmac or Millstreet like everyone else was doing. It was only when I got to the startline that I realised he was there. Naturally I was expecting John Meade to hop out of a bush right before the start but I suspect he stayed in the bush when he saw Gavin was there.

4. New Order

I think that my new tactics are working well. I have decided that I am not leading a race for the first mile ever again. I don’t care how slow it is you won’t see me at the front. I am going to be like Viv and John Meade and sit in and wait. Luckily there is always someone willing to take the race out, on this occasion we had Jason in his Dell singlet to take myself Gavin and Andrew Hobbs through the first mile.

5. Hammer Drop

I think that it would have been much better if Gavin had at least let me follow him for three miles. The kick he put in coming off the bridge onto Haulbowline was frightening but probably not surprising seen that his 1500m PB is about a minute quicker than mine. Strava says it was 4:50 pace which is probably why I was finding it particularly difficult to keep in touch

6. Halfway Around The Park

I think that I did well to keep some what in touch with Gavin in the park. Unfortunately as we reached Spike Island the elastic connecting me to Gavin snapped and I was left solo at the worst possible point in the race just as we turned into the headwind that we would face for the final two miles.

7. Thistlefly

I think that I encountered an unusual issue exiting the park. There was thistle growing out of the kerb which I hit with my Vaporfly as I was nimbly and elegantly jumping from the kerb to the road. So for the last two miles I had the rather unpleasant combination of a thistle embedded in my foot running uphill into a demoralizing headwind with no one to race and no hope of catching Gavin.

8. Millstreet or Courtmac

I think that in the third mile of the race I began to think of Friday night. I was tempted to look back to see how much of a gap I had to see if I could save some energy to beat Viv or John Meade on Friday. But I’m not allowed to look behind so I just ran a good effort to make sure I’d be ok.

9. The 223

I think that the bus helped me get to the finish a bit quicker. Gavin had a bike to pace him home so it was just as fair that I had a bus to break the wind for the last few 100m. I got to the line less than a minute behind Gavin which wasn’t too bad, in second place which was great as I like prizes.

10. Podiums and Prizes

I think that it is amazing how the spread at a Cork BHAA race disappears. Do anything more than a 2 mile warm down and there will be nothing left, not even something you don’t like, everything will be gone except bananas so I had a banana while I waited for the photos and the prizes which were great and over before 10pm which was even greater.

Coolagown 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Coolagown 10K

1. Coolagown or Donoughmore

I think that it is a terrible shame that my two favourite races in June were on the same night. Both are excellent races with similar hilly finishes. It was very difficult to pick between the two so I went with the one that I haven’t won before because it was closer to Glanmire and John Meade would almost certainly be there.

2. The Usual Suspects

I think that the Coolagown 10K would probably be postponed if John Meade couldn’t make it. I strongly suspect that Coolagown 10K was moved to the same night as Donoughmore to suit John Meade. Nick O’Donoghue who ran the race two years ago but didn’t actually run the race was also present along with new local East Cork resident Conor McCauley

3. Commentary

I think that Coolagown has the best commentary team in athletics, never mind Greg Allen or Steve Cram, Coolagown has Dick O’Brien with his unique horizontal commentary position in the back of a van. When the race got underway a group of four quickly formed containing Nick, John Meade, Nick’s lookalike and another runner. The van containing the commentary team dropped back to our group to ask John Meade who another runner was who told him that it was Conor McCauley, then the van sped up again.

4. Ingebrigtsen Tactics

I think that after 16 years of running I might actually have learnt tactics. It took a while but it is gradually making sense to me. I decided that I would adopt modified Ingebrigtsen tactics like Andrew Coscoran tried in the 1500m final by sitting at the back of the lead group as much as possible.

5. Elite Clipping

I think that the major problem with sitting at the back of a group is clipping. I am an incredibly awkward lump of a runner so running behind people is very uncomfortable. Unfortunately for Conor this meant that I clipped the heel of his white Saucony Endorphin Elite shoes just after a mile. Unlike other runners I apologized immediately so it was ok and not a problem.

6. McCauley is Suffering

I think that when someone becomes like the running version of Manchester City everyone wants to beat them. This was Conor McCauley’s problem in Coolagown. John Meade was on a mission and I was willing to support him with information. After the first two downhill miles we turned right onto the flattish section. Suddenly and inexplicably Conor McCauley started to drift off the back of John Meade, I was so determined to be disciplined with my tactics that I stayed behind Conor even as he slowed. Eventually a gap opened so I bridged up to John Meade and whispered the codewords “McCauley is Suffering” and away he went.

7. Eastasia and Eurasia

I think that it is interesting in running how your enemies, rivals and allies can switch so rapidly. Suddenly John Meade had become my main ally to end Conor McCauley’s Manchester City like dominance. I sat behind Conor for the next two miles while John Meade pushed on but not far enough ahead for the race to be considered over. Being the master tactician that I am I was hoping that John Meade might burn himself out and I might beat the two of them.

8. Silage Season

I think that John Meade had a lot of luck in the last few miles. First we had the silage wagons at four miles which distracted myself and Conor and then the jeep on the road at five miles that allowed him to pick the better line on the road. As we reached the five-mile mark it was still in question who would win. Dick O’Brien in the van was clearly routing for a John Meade victory as we were reminded that the gap was growing.

9. Two Mile Mountain

I think that the Coolagown 10K course has been specially curated to the needs of John Meade. The last two miles are made for him starting with a gradual climb to the left turn where the steep climb kicks in before a downhill sprint where he can use his speed. It is pretty suited to Conor McCauley too as became clear in the fifth mile as I was swiftly dropped and his assault on the lead of John Meade commenced.

10. Party Like It’s 2019

I think that I thought I would never see the day again that John Meade would just prevail over Conor McCauley in a local road race. Back in 2019 they were back and forth every race, then Conor got gooder. It took the 2024 Coolagown 10k and an inspired performance by John Meade to return us to the good old days of 2019. I just about got up the last mountain ahead of my lookalike Nick O’Donoughue to finish on the podium which was very unlike the days of 2019. To celebrate the great race we returned to the white pavilion in the tidiest town in East Cork for excellent apple tart and excellent prizes. A great night.

Dunmanway 10K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Dunmanway 10k 2024

1. Big Big Town

I think that Dunmanway is far bigger than I thought it would be. It’s borderline massive, like a very big Mitchelstown, very unexpected. I have somehow avoided ever visiting Dunmanway over the course of my 38 years so the thought of a 10k race in a new place pleased me greatly, especially on sunny Sunday morning in June.

2. Home of Sam Maguire

I think that the great thing about going to places that you haven’t been to before is that you get to find out new things. I found out that Dunmanway is the home of Sam Maguire and that the GAA club where the race registration was located was his version of my Galtee Gaels. Sometimes I wish I was like Billy where everything is new and wonderful.

3. Father’s Day

I think that I was unlucky that the race was held on Father’s Day. The most important skill in local elite club Cork running circles is to be lucky in who turns up to races, unfortunately for me Mark Walsh decided that a trip to Dunmanway would be a good way to spend Father’s Day which is the same reason I was there.

4. Milan Fashion Week

I think that it was a great pity that I didn’t wear my Leevale singlet for the race. The photos would have looked much better if it had of been two wasp like vests leading the race through the picturesque town of Dunmanway. Instead I chose to wear my warm weather racing Diadora singlet from Milan which is possibly the most fashionable singlet in the country.

5. A Little Respect

I think that it was rather disrespectful of Mark Walsh to assume that I would pace him to 9k before he would run away. I will have to store this disrespect in my brain for use in the up coming cross country season when I will no doubt administer a beating at some point in a bog in West Clare in a very important masters cross country race.

6. Too Much Respect

I think that Mark Walsh was probably too respectful in assuming that I would be able to pace him for 9k. For the first kilometre of the race which ran around the streets of Dunmanway which looked lovely in the sunshine I felt good so I tried to take the race out some bit hard. I was helped by the Garda car which was leading the race. Unfortunately once we got to the first minor incline at 3k Mark decided that he had enough of my company and quickly opened a gap that would only grow larger and larger before I couldn’t see either Mark or the Garda car.

7. Hills

I think that I probably should have done some more research on the course. If I had known how many hills there were I probably wouldn’t have tried to run the first 3k hard. Once we got to 3k the hills started, there seemed to be millions of them. Mark Walsh seemed to vanish into the distance making it seem as if I had stopped to look at the scenery which I was tempted to.

8. The Shaded Wood

I think that the course was excellently marked, one of the best course markings I have ever seen. Junctions were taped off so that not even a herd of cows could go wrong. The passing of each kilometre was celebrated with a line across the road and a big big sign. It was wonderful, a great effort. My favourite part of the course was the flat shaded wood section which was a nice break from the sunshine and hills.

9. The Wall

I think that the last hill was amazing. From 3k to 9k was pretty uneventful for me, I couldn’t see Mark and Joe told me that there was no one behind after taking a photo so I was just trying to run as hard as I could over the many hills. When I reached the 9k line on the road I assumed based on the abundance of hills that there couldn’t be anymore before the finish. Then I looked up saw the wall that was the 9th kilometre. Perhaps this was what Mark Walsh was talking about when he said pace him to 9k as there was no way I was getting up the wall ahead of him. Thankfully I only had to beat myself to the top before the plunge down to the finish right outside the GAA club.

10. A Prize for Sadie

I think that it was a pity that I wasn’t able to win the race as a tribute to Rhona’s dog Sadie. I did my best to try and win but I suppose in a way it was a good tribute to Sadie as she always preferred chasing things which is what I ended up doing for most of the race, trying in vain to chase Mark Walsh and a Garda car around the many hills of Dunmanway.

Cork BHAA Musgraves 5K 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA Musgraves 5K

1. Social Racing

I think that if I was a race I would be a BHAA race. They are great events, there is no stress, there is no worry, everyone is welcome and most importantly they don’t worry about being exactly on time. I have great problems with punctual people like John Meade and Viv who worry about being on time and give out when I am always late, 8pm is approximately the start time, don’t be getting stressed about it, it’s only a race, aren’t we lucky to be able to run, have a chat if you are early.

2. The Line

I think that this is the first time that a race has started on the line. The line is an unusual place to start a race. It is a nightmare for runners as the GPS signal is terrible so you can’t really rely on your watch. Despite the potential for inaccurate Strava many good runners had decided to turn up so I was faced with opposition not too dissimilar to the John Buckley 5k.

3. The Relay

I think that the great thing about being a person who doesn’t worry about punctuality is that when you are already late there is no problem in being a little more late. The start of the race just so happened to coincide with the women’s 4x400m relays race so we waited while Graham showed it to the 10 people who could see it on his phone and the rest of us listened. 400m races are short so it wasn’t long until we lined up at the S across from the lamppost a few 100m up from the Blackrock Train Station.

4. The Tunnel

I think that last night’s race would have been a good race for someone who likes collecting sounds. I think such people exist. The sound of a couple of hundred carbon plated shoes thundering through the dark tunnel where the teenagers light fires and break glasses was something special. Once we emerged from the tunnel it wasn’t long before we reached the 1km mark at the Mahon Point exit where Pa Murphy was on hand to tell us how slow we were going.

5. Secteur Pont Piéton

I think that the run to the pedestrian bridge over the south ring was what I imagine must be the running equivalent to the entrance to the Arenberg Forest in the Paris Roubaix. It was fabulous to charge at the narrow bridge, I seemed to be the only one in the group that was aware that we were going over the bridge so I got to the front as we approached the crucial narrowing having watched too many cycling crashes.

6. Cork (Nearly Has a) Track Club

I think that Anthony Mannix needs to be stopped. The clip he gave me just before the pedestrian bridge was worthy of a 6-month ban. It was like something an Armagh GAA player would do knowing that the referee won’t see it. I know that clipping is an inevitable part of running in a group, even I clipped Conor slightly earlier in the race but this was scandalous and likely coached by Ian who should probably be banned too.

7. Viv on a Mission

I think that if there is one lesson that I have learned in my many years of running is that you can never write off Viv. He is fueled almost entirely by a hatred of me. I should take a lot of credit for how well he is running as I don’t think he would be as motivated if I wasn’t as annoying. As usual Viv did not appear on my right shoulder until 3km, it’s always my right shoulder for some reason. Unfortunately, he was accompanied by Kris, Gavin and Peter Hanrahan all of whom seemed a lot more comfortable than I was.

8. Distancing

I think that it is always horrible to get dropped from a group in a race. My distancing by Viv and co started just after we passed through the 3k mark where Pa Murphy was on hand again to tell us how slow we were going. I was actually very pleased by the time Pa called out as I don’t think I’ve ever run 3k as fast. Then slowly but surely I couldn’t keep up. I don’t think Viv and co got faster, I just got slightly slower and the gap grew and grew until I could feel the ever so slight headwind that we began to encounter on the run to Blackrock Castle.

9. All Wrong

I think that I got my tactics all wrong for the race, my first mistake was not having enough talent to win the race, my next mistake was not just sitting in behind everyone and getting dragged around like Viv does. These two mistakes were enough to result in a terrible beating by Viv, it was nearly 10 seconds in the end which is huge and terrible. It was only one place so it doesn’t look too bad on the results but I may as well have been in a different race.

10. Supermarket Sweep

I think that the prizes for the race were excellent. They were in the smallest envelopes ever, too small to contain cash. Instead, they contained the next best thing SuperValu and Centra gift cards. Rhona won two prizes and I was lucky enough to get a spot prize for turning up late to the prize giving. The spread was hoovered up along time before I arrived but apparently it was as excellent as one would expect from Ireland’s largest wholesale business and purveyor of fine vegan food for the likes of me.

Dromana 5 Mile 2024

10 Things I Think About The Dromana 5 Mile

1. Amazing Gate

I think that it is a bad idea to go to a race when all you know about the race is that it goes through a funny looking Hindu-Gothic gate from the 1800s. I had cycled through the gate many times when I was miserable on a bicycle so I wanted to have run through it as well, that and I had a willing Billy minder in Tim who agreed that a trip to the Lismore area was a pleasant prospect on a Friday evening in June.

2. Déjà Vu

I think that this might not be the first time that I have run this race. I have a vague memory of running a race in Villierstown during my first running career when I was even more young than I am now. Unfortunately I wouldn’t have had Strava or a GPS watch at the time so I have no record of it nor does the internet. During the race I had this strange feeling that I had run the route before but without any actual evidence that I have.

3. John Treacy

I think that it was nice to start a race in the homeplace of John Treacy. Villierstown is an odd little place, similar to where I’m from in Anglesboro but with less mountains and more walls around the village. Registration was in the beautiful community church hall with nice stained-glass windows. As I was putting my €20 in the biscuit tin I said to the fella doing the registration that I was here on a bike for a feed stop on the John Treacy Tour mixing up my great Waterford men.

4. Sean Kelly

I think that the reason I think I might have run a race here before is because I cycled through Villierstown during the Sean Kelly Tour that used to be moderately enjoyable on a bicycle when I was injured and couldn’t run. I remember that there used to be a food stop in Villierstown, I always thought food stops were ridiculous but they used to have nice flapjacks in Villierstown so it wasn’t the worst place to take a brief break.

5. Return of the Hotspot

I think that road races need to bring back the hotspot prize. I only learned that these used to exist from Kieran McKeown. The Dromana 5 has a perfect hotspot potential location as the first mile and a half is a big climb. If there had of been a hotspot prize at the top of the hill I would have won it as I led Sergiu and the two Fitzgeralds, Pat and Evan over the first climb. It would probably help runners like Sergiu to run faster as lunatics like me would go for the hotspot and provide a nice fast pacemaker for the proper runners like Sergiu.

6. Team Astana

I think that it was a pity that Raivis had to cycle alongside us in the race rather than run. Raivis probably won the Dromana 5 when/if I ran it before in my first running career. Fourteen or so years later he spent the race cycling alongside myself and Aidan Connell once Sergiu and the two Fitzs left us behind. Raivis was able to tell us that there was a good gap behind to sixth. This was great as the only thing about the race that I had actually looked up was that there was prizes for the top 5 so I was almost guaranteed a prize.

7. Photoshop

I think that I was very disappointed that there wasn’t a photographer at the gate to capture the glorious moment when I passed through the Hindu-Gothic gate in fourth position. I was almost certain that there would be a photographer there, I even put my hands through my hair as we approached the gate to make sure I looked excellent but there was no photographer there which was a great pity so I made my own photo which is in style at this time.

8. Point to Point

I think that I started to get worried about getting back to Tim and Billy once we went through the gate. I presumed that the race was going to finish back in Villierstown or at least somewhere near it. It was only when I saw the signs for the N72 and Cappoquin that I realized that the race was going to finish 5 miles from where it started in Cappoquin which is probably the reason for the déjà vu as I definitely finished a race in Cappoquin before I just don’t know which race.

9. Fourth or Fifth

I think that once I realized that the race was going to finish in Cappoquin 5 miles from where Billy and Tim were I decided to park that problem and concentrate on trying to win fourth. This was proving difficult as at 3 miles I was wishing that I had entered a 5k and not a 5 mile race. As we approached the final climb to the finish in Cappoquin I tried to sprint and get away from Aidan, this kind of worked but my sprint didn’t last long and he passed me again just after the GAA club. At this point I gave up and ran home happy enough in 5th.

10. Amazing T-Shirt

I think that the Waterford races always have the best t-shirts. As this was the 30th edition of the race everyone got a lovely Nike t-shirt with a picture of the Dromana Gate printed on it. This was probably better than any photograph. Once I collected my excellent t-shirt my attention turned to how to get back to Billy and Tim, normally a 5 mile warm down would fill me with great happiness but the week after a marathon it seemed like a terrible prospect. Luckily Conor and Pat had parked a car just beyond the gate so we ran to the car and they dropped me back to Billy and Tim who weren’t too upset that the race hadn’t finished in Villierstown like I had thought it would. We stopped at the gate on the way home and took our own photos which was the main purpose of going to the race in the first place.

Cork City Marathon 2024

10 Things I Think About The Cork City Marathon 2024

1. For Runners By Runners

I think that you can tell how good a race is going to be by the number or runners involved in the organization. This was a marathon for runners by runners, everything was how I would have done it, it was like Michael Herlihy organized it, impeccable. It was my sixth Cork Marathon which means I am nearly very old and possibly the person with the most experience of the route and conditions which is both good and bad.

2. Bagpipes

I think that I am very lucky to be classified as an “elite” marathon runner in Cork. I hope SuperValu don’t do what Mercadona did for the Valencia Marathon and turn it into the fastest marathon in the world. It’s great fun walking down from Elverys to the startline led by a man playing the bagpipes. We only had a few seconds on the start line before the best Lord Mayor, Kieran McCarthy fired the gun and off we went into the typical blinding sunshine of a June Bank Holiday weekend in Cork.

3. Computer Says No

I think that the worst thing about having run Cork a few too many times is that if you’ve stuck your hand into the fire that is going out too hard and ending up waddling in the straight road it’s hard to do it again. As we ran down the South Mall I was horrified to see Barry Twohig and Danny Mullins take off up the road not far behind the significantly larger than normal lead group. I considered going after them but as we turned back towards town after the short trip around Blackpool I saw a large group containing Viv and Tadhg behind and decided that I didn’t want to risk ending up on the straight road having my legs held up in the air by Kieran McKeown.

4. The Group

I think that the easiest way to run a marathon is to run with a big group. One or two people isn’t enough, you need about five or six to make it interesting. This is why the big city marathons are so much faster because there is always a big group to follow. I ended up with in a lovely group containing Viv, Tadhg, Anthony McCarthy, Joe from Mallow via Frankfurt and Peter in full Hoka kit who I mistakenly thought was an American but was in fact from Dublin. We stayed together until about 17 miles which is where the marathon starts in Cork.

5. Too Sweet

I think that I have work to do on my Maurten gel consumption. Every good influencer and podcast says that the key to marathon running is consuming 90g per hour of carbohydrate. I set off with 130g of carbohydrates in the pockets of my Soar Marathon shorts which over four years are slowly but surely justifying the significant cost. I managed to take 40g at miles 6 and 12, then 25g at mile 18, then it became too sweet for me, so I gave my last gel to Viv. I didn’t feel like I ran out of energy so perhaps 39.9g per hour is enough.

6. Water, Water, Everywhere

I think that the water on course was exceptional. There was water everywhere. It even came in the most perfect small bottles with sports caps that you could hold in your hand and run along with quite easily. Another advantage of being in a group is that you can give your water bottle to Viv to hold while you deal with the difficult task of opening a gel. Other notable excellent cold water came from Donal Coffey and Sheldon.

7. Slow Boil

I think that the major problem with Cork is the heat. There are lots of studies on heat and its impact on running, I bet there are none on the impacts of running a marathon in Cork. It is the perfect storm when it comes to heat and running. Because it starts off at 815am it feels kind of cool so it’s easy to go off too fast, then it warms up as it goes along and the hardest part of the course comes when the temperature has reached it’s highest point so if you’ve gone off too fast you are in big, big trouble. This doesn’t happen in Valencia as it’s on in winter so the temperature is the same at the start as it is at the end so judging pacing is a lot easier. There is no fixing this problem. It’s just figuring out how not to get boiled.

8. Leeside Lumps

I think that over the years I have come to like the miles from Turners Cross to Farranlea Road more and more. It is a terrible part of the course to end up solo but in a small group it is wonderful. The only thing I would change is I would have a shoe change station on the South Link where you could change from AlphaFlys to Vaporflys to deal with all the corners. Volunteers like Graham could then transport the Alphaflys down to the end of the straight road so that you could change back for the run home.

9. Clear Air Turbulence

I think that the best way to deal with the straight road is to think about it positively. I kept telling myself that the straight road was where I was going to be at my best because of how wonderful the AlphaFly3s are on a flat straight road so I was kind of looking forward to it. By the time we turned right out onto the most feared road in Cork the group in the battle for the all important 15th position had been whittled down to me, Viv and Tadhg. Sheldon was on hand to capture the moment Tour De France style when Viv was dropped in dramatic fashion by myself and Tadhg. This was very surprising as the slipstream created by two us two monsters running side by side was probably worth 30 seconds a mile, perhaps it was turbulent air.

10. Finishing Hug

I think that I should have asked Tadhg to leave it to a sprint down Patrick Street as there was no one on North Main Street to appreciate the greatness that was the battle for 15th position. It was epic, it began outside the Franciscan Well when Tadhg decided that it was time for the group to become a group of one. I wasn’t very happy about this decision. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do about it and I was left to chase him down North Main Street past the historic falling down buildings held up with rusty metal bars before turning onto Patrick Street. I walked across the finish line triathlon style because I was tired before being hugged by Tadhg. I collected my car key from Graham and applauded Viv home a few seconds later. A great day out.