Munster Masters XC 2021

10 Things I Think About The Munster Masters XC

1. Operation put Viv back in his box

I think that it is very important to have a goal going into a race. My goal for this race was to put Viv back in his box. After his crushing victory over Alan O’Brien and Mike Morgan in the Killarney Half Marathon he had become intolerable, ne needed to be shown that magic shoe races mean nothing.

2. Two Minutes Hate

I think that listening to Brendan O’Connor on a Sunday is great preparation for running a cross country race. I was glad to hear that the enemy has changed from mouth breathing runners and joggers to South Africans and children. I listened intently and stored up the stress, tension and anger for use during the race. I might be getting addicted to the doom and gloom, I kind of like it.

3. Gorgeous Muck

I think that if you were going to bet on any place having some muck it would be Clarecastle. I imagine that there is muck there even in summer. Beating Viv was entirely dependent on there being at least some muck. It was a great relief to pull into the car park and see lots of muck and puddles, even the sight of muck is enough to slow most people down especially Viv. I was a little worried when I jogged the course as it wasn’t exactly heavy going, just moderately soft.

4. Viv’s Nonsense

I think that the worst part of having to race Viv is listening to the nonsense and excuses before the race. He tries a little bit of everything. Abusive comments on Garmin Connect were followed by complete nonsense about missing the entry and potentially not being able to run. I took no notice, I was surprised he didnt have a niggle. I tried to put him off by telling him about my potential stress fracture niggle.

5. Never ask a Masters Athlete his Age

I think that I owe James McCarthy an apology. I incorrectly assumed that he was an M40. I was so certain that I went up to him and said “you’re an M40 right”. My assumption was based on the fact that I have been running for what seems like 20 years and James was winning races when I started which would have easily made him 40. He’s not M40, he’s M35 like me. I’m not sure if he was insulted or not because East Cork people are like Kerrymen, they give nothing away.

6. Thank You Jonathan

I think that it was great of Jonathan Murphy to do my job for me. I knew that my only hope in this race as with all cross-country races was to get out fast and make the race as hard as possible. I had accepted that Michael Harty and John Kinsella were unbeatable but I knew that they would be cautious. I took off down to the first corner expecting to have to do all the work but Jonathan cut me off and led for the first lap. It was ideal.

7. Making The Calculation

I think that cross country running has a lot of similarities to cycling. In the Tour De France when a cyclist disappears up the road Sean Kelly always talks about making the calculation. I had to make the calculation after the first lap that Harty and Kinsella were going to have to be let go. It felt like I decided to let them go but in reality I think they just got rid of me.

8. One Trick Donkey

I think that I will have to go to the track and develop some speed. Because I can’t move much quicker than 5 minute mile pace no matter what happens I have no other strategy than to grind people off. After two laps I was in third place, I could hear two people breathing behind me. I didn’t think either of them was Viv so I was very happy. I could hear shouts of “Go on James” and I spotted a white Thurles singlet out of the corner of my eye so I kind of knew who I was dealing with.

9. Category > Overall

I think that the M35 category should be null and void if beaten by the M40s. Because I knew that Harty and Kinsella were M40 I knew I only had to beat James McCarthy to win the M35. I knew from the Masters track that the Thurles singlet was M40 so when we went onto the last lap and the Thurles singlet started to pass me out I just followed him because as long as I couldn’t hear James I was safe and would become the great M35 champion of Munster. This is a ridiculous way to race but a medal is a medal.

10. Victory over Viv

I think that I only believed that I was going to beat Viv in the last 200m. You can never be sure that he is gone as he races very cleverly. I only knew for sure that he had been beaten when someone told me I was clear behind. This was great to hear. In the end I beat him very badly by nearly 30 seconds which is ages. Because it was Masters Athletics we both got gold medals which was great. So we both won but I won more. Masters athletics is great.

National Senior XC 2021

10 Things I Think About The National Senior XC

1. Well Done Races

I think that every runner needs a good humbling every now and then. It is too easy to fall into the trap of running “Well Done” races where you beat the local GAA player by 3 minutes and collect €100. The National Senior XC would put you back in your box, fairly lively. This is the opposite of a Well Done Race.

2. Santry

I think that Santry makes Abbotstown feel like running around a cemetery. Santry has so much more atmosphere. The course is nice and narrow. The crowds can move from one side of the course to another so they can see the runners twice or even three times a lap. It feels like there is always someone watching you. It’s fabulous, a great experience, the European XC will be on the wrong course.

3. Nerd Alert

I think that Athletics Ireland will have to start checking shoes on the start line to stop cheating. When we lined up at the start I looked down and saw a fella wearing AlphaFlys, the Kipchoge colourway, the ones that are €10 extra for the Kenyan flag. AlphaFlys have a stack height of 39mm which is 14mm higher than the 25mm stack height limit for XC. I was so angry I was tempted to burst one of the silly air pods with my 12mm spikes, I probably should have because the AlphaFly guy went onto lead the first lap.

4. Conner Mantz

I think that watching the NCAA XC on Saturday almost convinced me to wear Dragonflys for the race. I thought about it for a while and decided that it was not worth dirtying a pair of €150 spikes for the sake of 2 or 3 places and the loss of the moral high ground so I left them at home and accused everyone who turned up wearing them of pseudo cheating.

5. Elbows Out

I think that my favourite thing about the race was the amount of elbows that were being thrown. It was a magnificently physical race. Normally the elbows stop after the first 200m but in this race they went on for a good 2 laps. It was great fun. One fella said sorry about elbowing me which was ridiculous, I was not sorry about anyone I elbowed.

6. Hey Heywood

I think that I didn’t have enough raw speed for this race. I went out as hard as I could to try and get ahead of and torment a few people but I was still the last Leevale guy after a lap. I passed Heywood on the second lap but he quickly easily caught me again, he kindly encouraged me to stay with him as he passed me, I really didn’t want to stay with Heywood, I wanted to stay ahead of Heywood, I wasn’t able to stay with Heywood.

7. Black Hole

I think that because I went out a little too fast for my own ability the second half of this race felt like being sucked into a black hole. I was passed by a lot of people, too many people. I didn’t get lapped so I suppose I didn’t enter the actual black hole.

8. Headache

I think that once you start counting the laps in a cross country race you are in big trouble. I was suffering majorly after the first lap. That first lap was so hard I started to get a headache. Because I’d been listening to Brendan O’Connor on the drive up I diagnosed myself with the disease. I considered dropping out and buying one of those antigen tests but then I remembered that the reason I run is because I like to hurt so I kept going. The headache cured itself.

9. Social Media Medal

I think that there will eventually be a social media medal in these races for the best performance by a runner with a social media presence. It could be competed for by bloggers and podcasters, sort of like the master’s category but for writing and talking nonsense, it would almost be the same category anyway. I absolutely hammered the runner from the Runner Beans podcast so I think I might have won this category.

10. Again Again

I think that I don’t have too many more of these National Senior XC races left so I need to look for reasons to have them repeated. Today was the first time I felt very very old in a race, more of the field was younger than me than older. Hopefully Athletics Ireland do the right thing and invalidate the race due to the AlphaFlys adversely influencing the race, violating World Athletics Shoe rules and we get to do it all again next week. I can do the shoe policing if they need someone, I’d love that.

The North South Masters XC

10 Things I Think About The North South Masters XC

1. Don’t Forget to Bring the Singlet

I think that the most important part of the weekend was to remember to bring the Irish singlet. This was the whole point of the weekend, the green singlet. I really should have done one of those Instagram post with the singlet the night before the race, but I bought it off the internet, so it didn’t seem right.

2. King Billy

I think that it was a great idea to bring Billy to the race in Belfast. A cross country race is a great place for a toddler, toddlers love cross country races. They don’t actually watch the cross-country race but they enjoy the grass and attacking other children.

3. Old Man

I think that old men like me are not able for a long XC season, the tendons in my lower legs are really suffering. Physios on twitter tell you to load your muscles and tendons to cure the niggles while removing stress from your life. I think this is nonsense as my calves are completely overloaded from wearing spikes twice a week and I have a perfect level of stress. Physios need to learn about magic shoes, I plan on curing my niggles by going back racing in magic shoes running in a delusional and pain free state again.

4. Queen’s Farm

I think that the race was excellently organized. The race took place on the Queen’s University playing pitches which is like a hilly UCC Farm. There was one muddy section on the downhill part of the course which is the first mud I’ve seen on a XC course all year. The lap was a proper lap with tight ankle breaking turns and small little steep hills but still plenty of fast sections, it kind of suited me, it was great fun to run and went by too quickly. I wish it had of been 10 or 12k.

5. 1215 or 1230

I think that having any timetable for the race was great after having to guess the start of the Munster Senior. There was a little bit of confusion about the start time as one email said 1230 and on Facebook it said 1215.I went with the Facebook option which turned out to be more accurate. Two timetables is still better than none.

6. Aussie Team?

I think that the start of the race was my favourite part of the race. There were two pens at the start, one for the Irish team and one for the Northern Ireland team. It looked like a battle scene. Apparently according to Instagram at the start I looked like Morgan McDonald who is a tanned hairy Australian runner, I will take this as a compliment and a sign that I should keep the hair and keep using the fake tan.

7. The Old Man Mile

I think that the first lap of the race was very cagey, I suppose it was a master’s race but the start was very slow, it was sort of like the old man mile you have to start doing when you get over 30, I ended up leading, not because I wanted to but because no one else wanted to. I lead for about a kilometre before the Northern Irish lads and Toldo warmed up and tore off into the distance.

8. Keep Her Lit

I think that running in Northern Ireland is great. It is kind of like a race abroad as it sounds completely different during the race. It's not very different but it is different enough to be refreshing. The crowd seemed to be more encouraging than back home, they shout stuff like Keep her Lit that you see on t-shirts in St George’s Market.

9. Motivation

I think that it was very difficult to find a reason in the race. I didn’t really want to badly beat anyone in the race. The Northern Irish M35 lads were in a different league to me so I couldn’t race them and you couldn’t really hate fellas like Niall O’Riordan so I couldn’t motivate myself when he went past me. It was an odd race on that front. In the end I just tried to run as hard as I could which is an acceptable way of racing too.

10. M35<M40

I think that the problem with the M35 category is that it gets harder every year you get older. Then you reach the M40 category and it get inundated by the people who refuse to accept M35 as a category. Next year I would like to run against the English, Welsh and Scots too. I might as well take advantage while everyone else my age is afraid of being called a masters athlete it might be my only chance and its a great day out.

Munster Senior XC 2021

10 Things I Think About The Munster Senior XC 2021

 1. Guessing Game

 I think that the Munster Senior XC is a unique event. It is the only event in the world where you have to guess when your race will start. It’s great fun, more events should do it. Imagine the stress of a big city marathon where it would just start randomly +/- 1 hour. It would make it much more interesting.

 2. The Hour

 I think that I would be much happier if the clocks went back an hour every day. It suits me and it really annoys all the people who think they’re great because they get up early in the morning. I got up at 10 which was actually 11 but it felt like 10. It didn’t matter because I didn’t know what time the race was on at so the clock was irrelevant anyway.

 3. Zero Muck, Zero Time

 I think that the field in Two Mile Borris must be the best-drained field in Tipperary. It rained a lot during the week, so it was looking promising for a morale-sapping, speed-reducing muck fest. I was very worried when I arrived at my best guess of 1:30 pm to see that the ground was barely even soft. I was even more worried by the sight of the women’s race which had already started about an hour before when I had guesstimated.

 4. The Numbers

 I think that I was a little stressed trying to get my number. Normally at a XC race you should have started your warmup before the women’s race starts. I hadn’t even arrived, had no number and no warmup. Then they announced on the PA that the men’s race wouldn’t start until 15 minutes after the women’s race. I didn’t really trust this so I ran around combining my number search and warm up into one event.

 5. Gerry and The Pacemakers

 I think that the man with the mic only had two records with him. It would have been better if the record was Ghost Town, instead we got You’ll Never Walk Alone. Just before the start it was announced that in the tradition of the Munster Senior XC the national anthem would be played. I was hoping for another rendition of YNWA but we actually got the National Anthem which was very disappointing.

 6. Don’t Get Injured

 I think that the most important thing with running is not to get injured. Everything else is not worth worrying about. If you could avoid getting injured for 12 years and just keep running you’d be very good, unbeatable almost. When the race started I ended up racing fellas who reminded me of when I was 23. It’s terrible because they’ll all probably get too motivated, go mad on the mileage, get injured and be like me when they’re 35 back exactly where they started.

 7. Viciousness

 I think that I have a target on my head. Every single person who passed me in the race did so viciously. Barry was particularly vicious when he passed, I wonder is it because of the hair, it must be easy to build up hate for the hair in front of you which results in the vicious passing. Once he passed me and got a gap he slowed down so it must be the hair.

 8. The Poisoned Crow

 I think that I could never be confident of beating Mike in a race no matter how big the gap. As usual, I got a good gap on Mike over the first two laps. Mike races like a crow who has been poisoned, as the race warms up, he heats up and starts to fly. My only hope was that the gap I had cultivated was big enough to withstand the charging Mike. I could see him at the end of every lap when the course turned back on itself. I saw that he was wearing a t-shirt under his singlet which was encouraging as that’s always a sign of not really being too bothered.

 9. Discrimination

 I think that size-based discrimination played a part in my little detour at the finish. I had held my position better than normal only getting passed by two young fellas and Barry. I knew Mark Walsh was on my back as I turned the last bend where the course separated into the finish and the normal lap. I’m presuming due to my bigness and general hairiness it was presumed that I couldn’t possibly be finished so the gap was opened and I was sent off for another lap. I had to duck back under the rope to get back into the finishing straight. In the end, it didn’t really matter, all it did was save me from having to sprint against Mark Walsh which would have been pointless anyway.

 10. Great Run by Me

I think that I will have to do an Instagram post to make sure everyone knows about my great run and a great victory over Mike. Even with the finishing straight discrimination, I beat him badly by 20 seconds which is an awful lot. The size of the gap and the fact that he was wearing a t-shirt under his singlet made me feel sorry for him so I didn’t do any real gloating. I always knew that I would eventually beat him, it is kind of disappointing that like when I finally beat John Meade it was very, very easy.

We won the team, I was sixth man so got no medal. I think I still helped as I had East Cork lads behind me. I’m the tanned hairy man on the right.