Munster Senior XC 2022

10 Things I Think About The Munster Senior XC

1. To Hell or to Limerick

I think the initial hesitancy to hold this event in Limerick racecourse was understandable. Having said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the course. It was a fabulous cross-country course, one of the best courses ever. The perfect antidote for the nonsense in Abbotstown. It should be the opposite way around where they talk about moving the course because it’s not dangerous enough.

2. B vs B

I think that there is too much minding of oneself in running. It is a terrible shame that both Leevale and East Cork fielded “B teams” for this race. It was great for the members of the B teams like myself and Mark Walsh but it should be the case that you have to run both the County and Munster cross country in order to qualify for the Nationals. It would stop people skipping a race because they know it is going to be run in a ridiculous swamp in Limerick that will have absolutely no relevance when it comes to the Nationals. It should be like the GAA where if you are caught training on a weekend where there is a cross country race that you are eligible you get banned.

3. Triangulation

I think that I will have to order a pair of the triangular spikes that Michael Herlihy had for this race. They are the spikes from the Nike Zoom Victory 5 XC. The shoe companies make no effort to innovate when it comes to cross country spikes for pure bogs like Limerick racecourse because there are only about 40 customers in the entire world. I am very tempted to try a pair of Inov-8 mud claws in races like this as there must be something better than spikes. I could try training properly but it is a lot easier to buy something that could make you faster.

4. Scandalous Decision

I think that the decision to reduce the race distance from 10k to 8k was scandalous. They said it was because of the tough conditions. This was clearly nonsense as the runners who had turned up were the maddest of the mad runners in Munster, farmers and strong fellas who either don’t know about or have utter contempt for magic shoes and who want to suffer as much as possible. It was clearly shortened so that people could go home ten minutes earlier. It was only afterwards that Michael Herlihy told me that if I had objected, they’d have had to have made it 10k. If I’d have know I’d have said something.

5. This is Bad

I think that after 100m of the race we were all glad that it was 8k not 10k. The race started with a ridiculously loud bang from what was possibly a new starting gun and off we went up the hill as fast as we could before all slowing dramatically when we encountered the first bog. That first bog was a good introduction to what lay ahead, this was not muck, this was a shin swallowing swamp.

6. Mass Cheating

I think that marking the course with only flags was asking for trouble. On the first lap everyone was very good and ran outside the flags all the way around the course. After the first lap new questionable lines were being taken, we’d already been given two kilometers off but when faced with ridiculous conditions it’s probably fair enough to lop off another few meters so long as everyone does it.

7. Downhill

I think that my favourite part of the course was the downhill section. It could have been a perfect course if they had taped off the hard path that ran down the middle of the downhill section so that you’d have to run downhill through the swamp instead we went from 7 minute miles through the uphill swamp to 5 minute miles down the hill with everyone desperately trying to find the hardest ground. 12mm spikes and rock hard gravel is not very pleasant.

8. The Swamp

I think that if I could have figured out a way to run through the swamp at the bottom of the course I could have beaten Michael Herlihy. The bottom of the course was a mystery to me, everyone else seemed to fly through it but every time I tried to turn at the final corner I came to a complete stop. There is no worse feeling in a XC race than when you put your foot in the ground and it doesn’t come out. The only worse feeling is when you see Michael Herlihy plowing through the same ground at twice the speed you are going with muck flying everywhere.

9. Like a Michael Herlihy in Muck

I think that there was no happier man in Limerick than Michael Herlihy, he was almost joyful, nearly smiling. I was ahead of him on the first lap but as we went onto the second lap he danced past clearly absolutely delighted with himself. It’s interesting that you can tell how happy someone is by the way they are running. Every step into the mud seemed to make him happier and happier. He was bouncing and ploughing his way through the swamp like a young bullock on his first day out of the shed.

10. The last will be first, and the first last

I think that these sorts of conditions should be mandatory for cross country. They turn the results from road races and road races on grass upside down, that’s the way it should be. I beat lots of people that beat me in the Abbotstown road race on grass and people I destroyed in that same race like Michael Herlihy beat me very badly in the muck. The only reason for cross country is to torment track and road runners. Despite my bad beating by Mike, the Leevale B team was still victorious in the battle of the B teams which proves nothing and probably doesn’t count as it was only 8k and not 10k. Hopefully the Nationals in Donegal will be in similar proper conditions; Donegal couldn’t possibly be dry could it?

Photo by Niall Moran

Cork County Masters XC 2022

10 Things I Think About The Cork County Masters XC

1. Beautiful Rain

I think all cross-country races should be run on ridiculously wet bank holiday Mondays. Monday was a beautiful cross-country day, the sort of dark wet day where you put a SAD lamp in your Amazon shopping basket. The rain was so bad that I warmed up at home in Glanmire before driving the fifteen minutes to White’s Cross aka John Meade land as I knew what was ahead.

2. Parking at the Gate

I think that calculating when to arrive at a cross country race is a skill as important as actually running. I got the timing for this race almost perfect. Because of the terrible rain they rattled through the juvenile program in an hour which is unprecedented, Michael Herlihy looked delighted to be leaving when I was walking in, I was equally delighted as I had managed to park right beside the gate because everyone else had left.

3. Field of Dreams

I think that it is very important to remind people of great races that you ran in the past in case that they forget. There isn’t enough of this on social media. This field at White’s Cross was the site of my greatest achievement before the photo of me beating John Meade in the Rebel Run 10k while coming second. It is an achievement which I rarely speak of. It was in this field in 2015 that I won the County Novice XC. It was a great run by me on that day in perfectly dry conditions. Conor McCauley never won the Novice nor did many other people.

4. Pat Murphy

I think that Pat Murphy would be an excellent name for John Meade. John Meade had difficulties with the entries so he had to take Pat Murphy’s number for the race. It suits him perfectly. It might be a good idea for Masters Cross Country for people to get to choose a new name, it might encourage more participation, a sort of a rebirth, a new career, no one would know what age you are then.

5. Michael Herlihy Tactics

I think that it is a pity that Michael Herlihy didn’t hang around in the ridiculous rain to watch my perfect imitation of his tactics. I imagine I ran the race like Mike would like to have run it if he had my current fabulous form. I didn’t go mad on the first lap and left John Meade and Kevin O’Brien take it on in that sort of way you can when you know that you have good form. I’m beginning to see the logic in not going mad on the first lap, it makes the rest of the race easier. If only someone had told me this years ago.

6. Equipment Selection

I think that this course had the perfect level of muck. It was not deep muck, it was 12mm spike muck. I might have gone with 15mm spikes, but I gave my bag of 15mm spikes to Paul O’Donovan last week and I was afraid to ask for them back because he has Olympic Medals, and I don’t. 12mm spikes were perfect anyway.

7. Hairpin

I think that the course layout was fantastic. There was a lovely hairpin at one part of the course where you could catch the stake and use it to leverage yourself around the corner. The rest of the course was lovely and flat with only muck to slow you down. It had lovely short sections of good ground where you could make an effort before slowing down for the very mucky sections. It was perfect, none of that continuous effort nonsense from Abbotstown, this was real cross country, the sort of course that track runners would hate.

8. The Banshees of Puigcerda

I think that John Meade is going to live to regret that race in Puigcerda where he arrogantly sat behind me for the whole race and then did just barely enough to beat me on the line. I will remember that race forever. Once I had gotten a gap on the group after two of the five laps all I thought about was that race in Puigcerda. I wanted to bury him by as much as possible. Kevin O’Brien was in between the two of us but all I was concerned about was making sure the gap to John Meade was huge

9. We won’t call it quits, we’ll call it the start.

I think that this race was a step closer to avenging the race in Puigcerda, once I crossed the line just ahead of Kevin O’Brien, I had to wait for fifty nine seconds (00:59) for John Meade to appear in third. I was tempted to go and get a coffee as I was nearly cold by the time he arrived, considering it was only 7000m, fifty nine seconds (00:59) was a desperate beating, a crushing, an annihilation on home turf and all. This is only the start, I hope, he won’t be able to go to a small local road race in peace again.

10. Dialed in Coffee

I think that my favourite part of this race was the presence of the Rooskagh coffee van in the middle of the field. We have come a long way as a country, you can now get a perfectly dialed in coffee in a farmer’s field immediately after a cross country race. An oatie, a coffee and destruction of John Meade, bank holidays don’t get much better than that.

Rebel Run 10k 2022

10 Things I Think About The Rebel Run 10k

1. Genetic Lateness

I think that I have a problem with lateness. I am eternally late for everything. It is terrible. I’m never late enough that I miss anything, but it is a very stressful way to live. I wish I could do something about it but unfortunately I think it is a genetic trait amongst Coakleys and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it.

2. Parkenomics

I think that car parks are interesting. There was a big queue for the car park which amplified my lateness. John Meade helpfully jogged over to the car as we were stuck on Melbourn road about 30 minutes before the start to taunt me. When we finally reached the car park I realised what was causing the delay, the car park was being filled from the top. There must be a PhD in how to fill a car park, I imagine it is like a bottle where the first car in should go to the bottom.

3. Carbon Footprint

I think that making everyone collect the number the day before was a great idea as there was absolutely no queue for me on the day because I didn’t bother to drive out the day before. I’m not sure if it such a great idea on a carbon footprint basis as it is in effect doubling the amount of travel, I drive a dirty diesel, so I was doing the environment good by ignoring the email about collecting the day before. I think John Meade did the same as me.

4. Adrenaline

I think that one of the great things about being eternally late is that you have an eternal amount of adrenaline. When you arrive at a race with ten minutes to spare then you only need a five minute warmup because of the adrenaline. All of my best performance have been because of extreme lateness. It is a beneficial genetic trait, perhaps that’s why it has been passed down the generations.

5. The Kieran McKeown Course Accuracy Test

I think that this must be one of the best 10k courses in Cork. It passed the accuracy test which is if Kieran McKeown is giving out about it being long on the watch, then you know that it is an accurately measured course. The route is lumpy but wonderful, it’s a mixture of rolling roads and bike paths. The marshalling was excellent which is very important on a route like this as it would be very easy to go wrong.

6. Natural Order

I think that the first few miles of the race were a struggle. On the start line I was putting people into their various boxes trying to figure out who I would have to spend the race with. I put Anthony Mannix, John Meade and Keith Kelly into my box, Kieran McKeown wanted to be in the box but he threatened to thrown me into the flood at the speed bump so I didn’t put him in the box. After about a mile of the race my box prediction proved accurate.

7. Worst Clip Ever

I think that I was very lucky to survive the clip of a Vapofly that I received from Anthony Mannix just after 5k. Clipping someone in a race is forgivable if it is just the heel but side to side foot contact is borderline an attempted trip. I initially presumed it was John Meade tormenting me as you would never suspect Anthony Mannix of such a tactic. I didn’t actually find out the truth until after the race, he’s lucky because I might have mustered some motivation to try and beat him if I’d known.

8. The Distancing of John Meade

I think that dropping John Meade in a race is one of the great achievements in running. There are not many people in Cork who can say that they have dropped John Meade in a race. After about 7k I became a member of this exclusive club, to make it even better he was dropped on a hill which is like beating him on home turf. To be honest if it wasn’t for Anthony Mannix I don’t think the gap would have opened. I just followed Anthony, that was enough to drop John Meade.

9. Go on John Meade

I think that almost everyone wanted John Meade to catch me and beat me like he normally does. As we left the cycle path and headed back up the hill towards the track he was getting all sorts of encouragement, “Go on John Meade”, “Well done John”, “Only 20 metres”. I knew that 20 metres on John Meade with a section of track to finish is the same as no gap. Somehow I got to the entrance to the track still ahead, the atmosphere in the stadium was electric with 100s of John Meade fans surprised to see me 20m ahead of their hero but probably still confident of a victory by their hero.

10. Humble

I think that poor Anthony Mannix must have felt like he didn’t win. As I entered the home straight Anthony was crossing the line, all I could hear was a cacophony of “Well Done John, Go on John” as he roared after me down the home straight. Thankfully Michael Herlihy has taught me how to run fast so I was able to go just fast enough to hold John Meade off and cross the line gracefully and respectfully in second place. It’s very important to be humble on these occasions.

Autumn Open XC 2022

10 Things I Think About The Autumn Open XC

1. Masters Trial

I think that masters running is great. If it wasn’t for masters running, it would be hard to motivate yourself to drive all the way to Dublin for a cross country race on a course you detest. The definition of running old age is interesting as it is really up to you when you accept the game is up, signing up is really the beginning of a new career.

2. Beara to Abbotstown

I think that I did too much driving this weekend. Bere Island is much closer to Glanmire than Abbotstown but it take precisely the same amount of time to reach both. The drive and boat to Bere Island is much nicer. The boat gave me a good idea on how to solve the traffic in Dublin. Turn the M50 into a river and make everyone get a boat into the city, it would fix everything.

3. Spikes, Dragonflys and Vapoflys

I think that cross country is nearly worse than the road for shoe choice dilemmas. Michael Herlihy did a reconnaissance lap on the Saturday and reported back that the course was rock hard. Vaporflys are now legal for cross country, so I threw them into the boot just in case I had to fight fire with fire. Thankfully the only cheating taking place was dragonfly related which are based on the research probably worth 3.43% running economy. I stuck to my Brooks which was probably a bad decision.

4. Sand not Gravel

I think that this course is not being used as designed. I went back and looked at the website of the original course designers (who were actual horse course designers). The design specifically mentions sand sections. There are no sand sections. There is rock hard gravel which is a faster surface than the track at the Mardyke. We have enough road races and track races, they should at least make the course some bit challenging.

5. Carlos Sastre

I think that running the race in Bere Island the day before was a great idea. It meant that I really didn’t care about the race as I had an excellent excuse for Michael Herlihy and Viv beating me. Because I had nothing to lose I decided to try out some different tactics. I decided to warm up into the race like Carlos Sastre used to on the climbs to win the Tour De France and less memorably like Michael Herlihy did to finish an excellent 8th in the county senior a few weekends ago.

6. I Ain’t Worried

I think that this was the most fun I have ever had in a race. Because it is a glorified road race the race went off like a downhill 5k road race in south county Dublin would. I was miles back after half a lap but despite barely trying I was still ahead of Michael Herlihy, perhaps I had confused him by running like him. Viv was well gone and not to be seen.

7. Target Engaged

I think that it is very handy to have spotters on the course. By the third lap I had gotten going and started to mow people down. I wasn’t actually going any quicker it’s just that I didn’t slow down like the other runners. Rhona and Billy told me that Viv was up ahead, I looked for him but couldn’t spot him but as I reached the top of the hill I spotted him entering the gravel track section. I was so motivated by the thought of catching him, passing him and burying him that I jumped in the air and took off down the hill, at least I did in my own head.

8. Max Verstappen

I think that my overtake of Viv was one of the best overtaking maneuvers in a cross country race ever. It took until halfway through the last lap for me to get near him. It was beautiful, I swept around the outside of him through the gate that leads into the uphill section that is invisible to spectators and absolutely buried him up the hill. Declan Guina helped me then to open a huge gap on him over that last few hundred meters. It was definitely my best victory over Viv.

9. Perfect Pacing

I think that there should be an award sponsored by Strava for the nicest looking pace graph on Strava after the race. I think that I would definitely have won this award as my graph was very beautiful. I’m sure that Michael Herlihy was very jealous as he sat on the sofa with the laptop and a large glass of electrolyte drink analyzing how I destroyed him by forty five seconds which is ages. I might use this tactic again.

10. Seventh Best Priest

I think that it is just as well that I live in my own self-created world where I have victories over Viv and Michael Herlihy as in the real race for the M35 team I failed miserably and was beaten very badly. I was the seventh best moderately old man. Apparently only the first four moderately old men get automatically selected to buy their own Irish singlet so I will have wait for another year. It’s alright, I honestly don’t mind.

Bere Island 5 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Bere Island 5 Mile

1. Island Life

I think that Bere Island is my favourite of all the small islands off the coast of Ireland. It is a very interesting little island. It’s sort of like where I grew up in the Galtees except that you can’t escape to the city without getting on a boat. The roads look identical and the hills were very similar.

2. Weather Forecast

I think that weather apps are too catastrophic with their colouring systems. I checked the windy app on Friday and Bere Island had red coloured wind. It looked terrible and there was constant rain forecast. It seemed like it would be impossible to get a boat to the island with red coloured wind and fast-moving arrows. When I got up on Saturday morning I looked out the window in Glanmire expecting the trees to be bending over but instead the leaves on the ground were barely moving so we hopped in the car for the two hour drive to the ferry from the pontoon.

3. Ferry

I think that getting to a race start by ferry is a great idea. I have a terrible fear of going on a ferry from when I was a child going across to Clare Island so I was very scared. Thankfully it was an excellent ferry like the one that goes from Passage to Cobh with absolutely no side to side motion and no risk of death.

4. GAA Island

I think that there must be a law that says there must be a GAA club on every island in the country. For the warmup we jogged over to the impressive GAA club to use the facilities. There doesn’t appear to be much GAA being played on the pitch as the grass was longer than the grass at the cross country race in Carrignavar. Perhaps they could convert it into an athletics track and turn the island into a running paradise. It has everything else, lots of hills and plenty of quiet roads.

5. Strava Routeplanner

I think that there aren’t many options for course designers on Bere Island. There are very few roads and only one of them has a loop. If you asked Strava for a five mile route on Bere Island I’m pretty sure the computer would come up with the Bere Island five mile loop.

6. Leevale

I think that the Leevale singlet is very scary. When we lined up for the start I was half horrified to see a young fella in a Leevale singlet. It is a very intimidating singlet, I think it’s the colours. I was thinking did Chris Harrington or Ken Nason send some young fella down on purpose to torment me, a new Charlie O’Donovan, he looked like he was. When we started, he kept up with me for about a mile. A mile is long enough for it to become worrisome.

7. Haute Category

I think that if it wasn’t for the gigantic, enormous hill in the second mile I might have had company for longer. The second mile of this race is indescribable. It is a hill unlike anything I have seen in a race in Ireland. It is remarkably steep, at least as steep as Patrick’s Hill. I was very glad of the huge hill as I had magic shoes unlike my fellow Leevaler so I was able to bounce right up to the top. If you had no magic shoes it would have been a very hard hill.

8. Sqaull

I think we were incredibly lucky that the weather apps got it all wrong. Before the race there was a weird squally shower, sort of like a mini hurricane that would last three minutes, it would have been impossible to run in that. Somehow during the race it was perfect, there was barely even wind, the sky might even have been blue. You could hear thunder in the distance which was kind of nice. Bere Island seems to have it’s own climate that weather apps can’t predict, it seemed to be terrible everywhere else nearby.

9. Rush Hour

I think that the last three miles of the race are lovely. Once the ridiculously steep massive hill was out of the way it became a lovely rolling slightly downhill run to the finish. Apparently, we took a detour to avoid a slippy road but I didn’t notice as the route seemed perfectly logical to me, I just followed the lead van which was fine until we encountered the only two cars on the island who were out for a drive. The roads are very narrow, so I had to wait while they maneuvered around each other, sure what harm, sure who’s in a rush on Bere Island.

10. Course Record

I think that course records are great. I like course records because they apply only to mad courses. When there is a course record you know that the route is mad so they have to have a course record so that people won’t be upset when their time isn’t as fast as it would be on the John Buckley 5k loop. In the end I only barely got it by about 10 seconds, I probably should have waited on the line until the time was just one second under and then stepped across so that it would be easier to break again next year like that guy in Spain did last week. I’m not sure if that would have gone down too well in West Cork.

Cork County Senior XC 2022

10 Things I Think About The Cork County Senior XC 2022

1. Countless Hills (and Laps)

I think that the new course in Carrigadrohid might be my favourite cross country course ever. I was getting a little bored of the old course layout, it was very good the first few times but familiarity breeds contempt. The new one in the same field is a triumph of imagination and cross country course design. Twenty hills in seven laps (depending on how you define a hill), sweeping bends, steep downhills, and wonderful long grass with bumpy ground rendering magic shoes utterly useless. If only it could have been wet.

2. Fourteen Times

I think that I might be able to beat Denis McCarthy’s record someday. My only complaint about the day was that there wasn’t a man with the mic doing excellent commentary and general announcements, well there was but he was very shy, the only thing he said all day was that this was Denis’s 40th County Senior which is very impressive. It was my 14th which is also impressive given how tanned and young looking I am. I’m confident I can do 40, the only ones I have missed have been because of stress fractures, I have no bones left to have stress fractures in so I should be good to go for 26 more.

3. Spikes

I think that people using Dragonflys on this sort of course shows you the power of Nike advertising. I can think of nothing worse to have attached to my feet in a farmer’s field than a rigid carbon plate with some squishy ZoomX foam. It cannot possibly help. It can only increase the risk of terrible ankle injuries. You need nice flexible cheap spikes so that when your foot hits the rutted hard unpredictable bump in the ground it can mould around it, grip it and push off without your ankle twisting.

4. Carbon Footprint

I think that it was a bit much of East Cork to be laughing at Leevale and our band of mercenaries from Donegal, Dublin, Wexford, Limerick, Tipperary etc when they had Kenyan and UK based arrivals to bolster their ranks. It was probably a fair battle in terms of long-term carbon footprints, although the East Cork team was probably a more geographical team than Leevale. It was always going to be a good battle.

5. Boxes

I think that one of the worst things about running is that after a while you get put in an ability box. For example, it is considered absurd, ridiculous, and outrageous for a known confirmed useless article like me from the 7th to 20th placed box to lead the race. I was not doing it like one of the teams in the Tour De France going in the breakaway so that their sponsors get attention, I wasn’t doing it for my YouTube channel, I wasn’t doing it for my sponsored blog, I went into the lead because it was fun and everyone else was jogging down the hill because they were terrified of the 18 hills that were left and I knew it would annoy people a little bit.

6. The Mini Hill

I think that the hardest hill on the course was the shortest hill. It was the second hill of the lap, a horrible little hill, way too steep for my long-tanned legs but perfect for the shorter untanned legs of the likes of John Meade. It was on the mini hill that my leading came to an end on the second lap and I was put back in my box by the better runners, fortunately John Meade and Michael Herlihy are also unwilling perhaps even unknowing inhabitants of that same box so there was plenty of fun left in the race.

7. Donal Coffey

I think that Donal Coffey enjoyed this race more than Michael Harty. I’ve never seen a man take such delight in the misery and suffering of one person, that person being his namesake. Every time I passed he tormented me by ignoring me and then shouting, “Well Done John Meade”, or “Well Done Mikey” even when they weren’t behind me. He was obviously thrilled when John Meade bustled past me on the mini hill. The “Well Done John Meade’s are definitely an advantage. I felt like I was an away team. I don’t know why I’m not supported.

8. Two Seconds of Hate

I think that John Meade had only one goal in this race and that was to beat me. This was one of my better battles with John Meade, normally our battles are not really fought out and it is more in my imagination, but this was a real battle. We must have exchanged places four or five times. I thought I had him on the ropes on the last lap as he looked very hunched over and started breathing audibly. I have never heard John Meade breathing in a race, but this was unmistakable suffering, gasping for air. It would have been wonderful to sail by him on that last hill but unfortunately, he had just enough to hold off my hatred by two short seconds.

9. The Terminator

I think that Michael Herlihy was like the cat who got the cream after the race, he was possibly as happy as I’ve ever seen a man who had finished 8th in race. Thrilled with himself, utterly delighted with his self-anointed Terminator style run, like a fella who had just run a 2:19 marathon in a pair of magic shoes. As I lay thrown on the ground after the race hoping that someone would take a good picture for the blog and Instagram, Mike stood over me and said “That was a terrible performance”, his justification being that I should have beaten him because of the one training session where I dared be ahead of him. Then someone asked him how he ran, and he said excellent and that he was very happy with it.

10. Medals

I think that we will have to appoint a team member to count the laps in Carrigadrohid in future. This is the second time where I have ended up with a medal I didn’t deserve because one of my teammates has counted the laps wrong in this hilly field. Last time it was Mark Walsh who got it all wrong, that was probably much worse as it cost us gold, this time poor Gavin did the same thing, sprinted on the second last lap thinking it was the last one and wasn’t able to finish. It wasn’t anywhere near as bad as Mark’s shocker though as it didn’t really impact the team result as East Cork were in dominating form. It did however give me an undeserved silver medal for fourth Leevale scorer which was nice. John Meade only got a bronze and Michael Herlihy got no medal, so I’ll take it.

Charleville Half Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About Pacing The Charelville Half Marathon Badly

1. Charleville or Berlin

I think that it is terrible that I wasn’t able to race both Berlin and Charleville. I had a great feeling of sadness yesterday not to be doing either. Berlin had proper weather for once and Charleville would have been a great victory over Jeremy, John Meade and Mike Morgan, probably. Instead I agreed to Michael Herlihy’s request to pace 1:35 and save myself for the cross country.

2. Warm Up

I think that it is very difficult to know what sort of a warm up to do for pacing. I was half wrecked before the race as I had finished fourth or fifth in the session at the farm on Saturday morning beating Michael Herlihy significantly. It had been my first time in spikes in about 6 months so my calves were a bit tight. I settled for half a mile of a jog during which I met Jeremy who was devastated that I wasn’t racing.

3. Vietnam vs Indonesia

I think that one of the reasons Michael Herlihy gave me the 1:35 pace group is that it is probably what he thinks I would run for a half marathon if I didn’t have magic shoes. To prove him wrong I wore my simple non magic New Balance 880 V12s which were made in Vietnam. With New Balance shoes you have to get the ones made in Vietnam because the ones made in Indonesia fit a half a size smaller. I have told this story about New Balance shoes and where they are made to many people on runs but no one seems to be interested in it. I think it is fascinating.

4. Balloons and T-Shirts

I think that it was very kind of the Charleville half marathon to give all the pacers a free t-shirt and a free balloon. The Charleville t-shirts are very nice as they have lots of random sponsors sort of like the t-shirt you get at a Spanish road race. The balloon with 1:35 written on it was also very handy as I could give the balloon to Billy afterwards.

5. Kilometers or Miles

I think that when pacing a half marathon it is better to go off km pace than mile pace. 1:35 was 4:30 per km which is easy to remember. The problem is that GPS watches are terribly inaccurate lying machines which you can’t trust so you have to err on the side of 4:28 or so to account for the course being measured properly. This was what I was aiming for anyway.

6. Trickle-Down Economics

I think that Charleville is a very difficult course for a pacer. The first mile is a little bit downhill so you end up running it a bit faster. I’m still not sure if the pacer should run exactly the prescribed pace for this mile. I don’t think that would make any sense because the first mile isn’t the same as any other mile, it’s sort of like free money. Anyway I didn’t do that because I’m very logical, so we went through the first km in about 4 minutes. We then ran along the very flat and featureless road until we reached 10k at Kilmallock in about 44:20 which I thought was excellent pacing even though we had 40 seconds in the bank.

7. Sound of the Alphaflys

I think that the worst thing about pacing is that you must listen to Alphaflys for an hour and a half. They make a terrible terrible clapping sound. I’m not sure if I could stick it for a marathon. Unfortunately, due to Kipchoge’s world record I had to buy the orange pair immediately after the race so I’ll soon find out if they are as loud and awful when you wear them yourself.

8. Wind

I think that everyone in my pacing group should have thanked me when we turned back onto the main road after ten miles. There was no evidence of any wind before the start but by the time we arrived onto the road a strong headwind had developed. I gathered a bunch around me and gave them great shelter with my huge frame over the next three miles. Because of my quality pacing we had plenty of time banked to account for the headwind so we didn’t have to worry.

9. Quality of The Pacing

I think that anyone who complains about pacers should be banned from running a race ever again. Pacing is an incredibly difficult job, probably more difficult that race organiser. You have to account for winds, road surfaces, hills, downhills, humidity, GPS watches, magic shoes all while getting paid nothing. The only solution to avoid people complaining might be to get one of those pace lights like they have for the Diamond League or perhaps have electric bicycles with pace lights cast onto the ground behind them. That way it couldn’t possibly go wrong. I’m sure Michael Herlihy could sort this out. It’s probably the next step for the race.

10. Volunteering

I think that volunteering doesn’t suit me, it was awful to watch Jeremy, John Meade and Mike Morgan running times that I would have liked to have run, they were all too happy afterwards while I had to make do with the lesser endorphin hit of pacing albeit badly. My pacing was probably the only thing that wasn’t perfect about Charleville this year. Everything else, even the weather seemed to be perfect.

Allihies 5 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Allihies 5 Mile 

1. To Allihies or to Galway 

I think that if it wasn’t for the disease that is my chronic lateness I would have ended up running a cross country race in Galway today. I have terrible trouble with being on time for things, I’m invariably at least five minutes late for everything. Add in a little bit of jet lag and getting to Galway for 12:30 became an impossible task so off to Allihies we went.

2. Toyota Corolla

I think that Google Maps needs to factor in Toyota Corolla’s in its calculation of how long it is going to take to get to Allihies. It is a very long drive from Glanmire, the road is fine until you turn off at Béal na Bláth then the Toyota Corolla’s of various vintages start. The first one was a grey one like John Meade used to drive, it was tolerably slow but went a long way along the road to Allihies before finally turning off left, only to be replaced immediately from the next cross roads by a 99 faded red Corolla that just about got around each bend. As we got closer to Allihies the Corolla’s were replaced by tractors. 

3. Michael McMahon

I think that Michael McMahon must think that I was playing games with him. I had told him during the week that there was a race in Allihies that he should do. He said he’d think about it. I said I definitely wouldn’t be there as I was going to Galway. While we were stuck behind one of the Corolla’s who did I see in the mirror only Michael McMahon. I’m sure he had the same mixed thoughts of well at least I have some one to warm up and cool down with but do I really have to race him.

4. So Good You Do it Twice 

I think that the course in Allihies is amazing. It must be one of the best road race circuits in the world. There is nothing like it anywhere, it is fabulously mad. It is made up of two, two and a half mile laps like the old Churchtown South race in Ballycotton. There are no flat sections, it is either uphill or downhill like a cross country course. The scenery is Icelandic, viciously beautiful especially on a sunny day with no wind. It would look great on TV. 

5. No Hanging About

I think that racing Michael McMahon was always going to be fun. At the start about 50m outside the town we both took off like mad lunatics with no regard for the course or distance in a way that would have tormented Michael Herlihy if he had of been there. The first mile is half sweeping uphill bends followed by a beautiful downhill section facing out over the bay. Michael took the lead and didn’t look like he was ever going to surrender it. I felt terrible, a mixture of jetlag and tiredness from driving behind Corolla’s for two hours. 

6. Dangerous Downhill

I think that the pace at which Michael McMahon went downhill in this race was frightening. I have never seen anything like it. I am normally the best in any race at going downhill as I have that perfect mix of height, heaviness and madness. Following Michael McMahon downhill off the cliffs of Allihies was what I imagine it must have been like for the guys in the Tour De France trying to follow Tom Pidcock off the Col Du Galibier. It was terrifying and safer to be watching on TV.

7. False Flat

I think that I knew I had a chance once we reached the second mile of the race where we encountered the only part of the course that is remotely flat. It is still probably a 1-2% gradient but it looks relatively flat. Because of Michael’s wreckless descending he was getting a gap on me everytime we went downhill but on the “flat” section by a field where a farmer was attempting to turn rocks into grass I started to close the gap.

8. Maybe

I think that this race evolved the complete opposite way to every other race I have been in. Normally in a race like this I would get a gap on people on the downhill and they would close on me on the uphill. But in this race it was like I had metamorphosed like Chris Froome from someone who can’t climb to the best climber in the world. Hills were my friend for once. Maybe it was my day.

9. Definitely Maybe

I think that after the first lap I had a good idea of what I needed to do. I couldn’t get ahead of Michael on the first lap no matter what I did but as we ran back up through the town with it’s lovely multicoloured houses I knew that he was going to be vulnerable on the climb to the finish as normally I would get dropped on any gradient. He led all the way until the four mile mark when I briefly took over on the false flat section before being immediately overtaken on the downhill section.

10. Alto de Allihies

I think that more races should finish on vicious climbs like this one. They do it on purpose in cycling. You can’t see the finish at the bottom of the last 100m ramp up to the finish it is so steep. As we approached the town Michael was still leading having re-opened the gap on the last of the mad descents. Then as we commenced the climb home I started to close in, with 800m to go I made my move. Just like Chris Froome in that breakthrough Tour De France I unexpectedly increased my cadence before flying up the vicious slope to appear at the top victorious. There is no drug testing in Allihies.

Golden Gate Park XC 2022

10 Things I Think About The Golden Gate Park XC

1. Golden Gate Park

I think that a cross country race in Golden Gate Park sounds fabulous. It sounds like it would be amazing with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background and lots of fog. In reality it was great but for different reasons than you would expect. Golden Gate Park is pretty much the Phoenix Park in San Francisco and you can’t see the Golden Gate Bridge but it’s very nice and great for running.

2. Thirsty

I think that it is questionable as to whether you should be allowed to call a race a cross country race if it hasn’t rained in the preceding 6 months. San Francisco is thirsty, parched, yet the park is deceptively green due to the sprinklers which are everywhere so perhaps they get a pass for that.

3. Shoe Choice

I think that I didn’t bring enough shoes with me. Normally when you are going to a cross country race you bring only spikes. The only choice is how long your spikes are. American cross country appears to be very different as spikes are almost redundant. Concrete was the problem on this course, back home it would have been covered in fake grass but here it was just left as is with no thought for the Irishman who likes pure proper cross country. As it turns out I had the perfect shoe for the course but it was back home in Cork the New Balance 1400. All I was left with was a choice between a pair of Dragonflys with spikes and evil cheating Vaporflys.

4. Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

I think that wearing Vaporflys in a cross country race is an immoral act. It’s no longer illegal which is terrible but it is still very wrong. I really had no choice for this race as spikes would have been dangerous with the concrete and not ending up in an American hospital with a broken leg was one of my main goals. I felt so guilty lining up on the startline but then I looked around and most people had some sort of super shoe on. I suppose if everyone else is doing it it’s not really cheating.

5. Pre Race Ra Ra

I think that if Irish cross-country teams started doing pre race hype chants like some of the American teams did before this race they would be run out of the field. I can just imagine North Cork AC led by Michael Herlihy before the County Senior chanting “Two, four, six, eight/ Who do we appreciate?” It just wouldn’t work, it would be funny but it wouldn’t work. It even looked ridiculous in San Francisco, like something you’d see in an Adam Sandler movie but I suppose when your team is called the Aggies it can’t get much worse.

6. Sprinklers

I think that over zealous sprinklers ruined the course from a Vaporfly point of view. If it wasn’t for the wet and slippy downhill 400m stretch just after the start Vaporflys would have been perfect. It was so wet it looked like it had rained which it hadn’t. Unfortunately, Vaporflys are terrible on mud. I had taken the start handy anyway but being faced with 400m of slippy downhill mud in the first mile of the race made my start even worse. I ended up way back, miles behind the pre-race chant inspired Aggies, maybe they are onto something?

7. Standards

I think that the standard in this race was very high. I had wondered where all the American runners were as any road race I have been to has had a shocking standard. Now I know, they all run these USATF races which are like races back home. Unusually most of the runners were way younger than me, I was probably the oldest person there. I wish we had races like this at home all of the time, I don’t mind finishing nowhere as long as the standard is high.

8. Singletrack Sand

I think that my favourite part of the course was the section of sandy single track about after about a mile of the two mile lap. It came just after a wide-open green grass section so you could make a big effort on the open plain and then no one could pass you for the next 200m. It was also uphill and sandy so it increased the suffering. I would like more sections like this in cross country courses, at least we got to do it twice in this race. Vaporflys appear to be good on sand.

9. Uphill Gravel

I think that my next favourite part of the course was the brown uphill gravelly grass section after the sandy single track. You could take a little rest on the single track and then using your Vaporflys bounce up the hard brown gravel path up to the highest point on the course under the big American looking trees. I thought I was making great progress but I was still nowhere with loads of young fellas and Aggies ahead of me.

10. Celebration

I think that the greatest thing about a race like this is that because there is so much depth there is always someone to race. It reminded me of the All Ireland Novice just in America, it was even the same distance. Unlike the Novice I had no team to run for but that didn’t stop me wanting to beat and torment people. As we came into the finishing straight, I could hear someone catching me so I sprinted all out, I even looked over my left and right shoulder to see where he was, then when I kept him behind I did the finger wagging celebration across the line, for 29th place. Small victories, big celebrations. I must remember to do that the next time I beat Viv or John Meade.

* Yes this was the day after the half marathon, I felt fine which worringly makes me think I could get away with this more often.

Oaktown Half Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About The Oaktown Half Marathon

1. Oakland

I think that I was unnecessarily scared of Oakland. I had heard many terrible things about Oakland. I was picturing some sort of post apocalypse streetscape with barriered up shops, sort of like a bad dangerous North Main Street. The only thing that made me think it might be ok was that the race was starting at 7am. Sure nowhere is bad at 7am, is it?

2. Parking

I think that the main thing I was scared about in Oakland was parking the car. I had numerous warnings “leave absolutely nothing visible in the car, nothing.” The race organizers email said to take the BART but at 7am this probably wasn’t going to work. So being the very brave man that I am, at 6am in the semi darkness, I drove into the heart of Oakland, to my surprise it was perfectly normal, very clean, tidy and modern with a parking lot just before the start. I couldn’t pay for the parking as I’d no phone reception, so another runner kindly gave me their phone to pay. So far so good.

3. Razzmatazz

I think that you should always be wary of races with too much stuff not related to running. The race looked like a super slick operation, loud music, a DJ, big gantries, and lots of stalls selling stuff that you don’t need to run. It made me realize where the $150 entry fee was going. Yes, you read that right $150 for a race and this was if you selected none of the Ryanair style add-ons on the super slick website.

4. No Easy Day

I think that my hopes of an easy day were dashed by the sight of a pair of Alphafly 2s on the start line. I was half hoping that there would be absolutely no-one at the race and that I could run around at 6 minute mile pace win and run the cross country the next day with no problems. Unfortunately, a guy with a new pair of Alphafly 2s took the race out at 5:30 pace so I knew that my easy day plan was gone.

5. East Berlin

I think that the first 5k of the race was the part of Oakland that people were talking about. Once we left the start area near the nice lake we entered what I think was downtown Oakland. It reminded me of those streets in East Berlin that look kind of dangerous but actually aren’t with lots of bars and warehouses. I felt perfectly safe as there was no-one about except the many police officers who were marshalling the race. After about 5k I had two other runners for company, a fella in a t-shirt who I knew wasn’t going to get much farther and the fella in the Alphaflys who looked very comfortable, too comfortable.

6. Lake Merritt

I think that the race should just have been four laps of Lake Merritt. I am unsure of what the race organizers were trying to achieve with what was the most convoluted course designs I have ever seen. Lake Merritt is a lovely lake to run around, but for some reason they decided that the Lake wasn’t nice enough and we were sent out into downtown Oakland before coming back to the Lake to do a lap before going back around the lake in the opposite direction and then back out into downtown Oakland before finishing back at the lake. Four laps of the lake would have been fine with no need for all the police officers and cones.

7. So Many Cones

I think that traffic cones must be the cause of all race course problems. Has there ever been a problem with a race that wasn’t caused by a misplaced cone. Once we had completed the first lap of the lake I was expecting to have to turn around and go back around the lake in the opposite direction like the map had said. Instead, the police officer on the lead bike kept going, there was never any obvious turnaround, so I assumed that he knew what he was doing. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

8. Kiplimo

I think that it would have been a great finish if we’d followed the actual course. Up until 9 miles I had been leading keeping the pace around 5:35-5:40s. Then at mile 9 the guy in the Alphaflys picked it up and tried to drop me. Amazingly with some effort I was able to follow him. To both of our surprise just as our watches ticked to 10 miles the police officer drove us back through the finish and parked up. We jogged over to him unsure of what was happening, “Wow, you guys are amazing, you’re done, super-fast”. “No we aren’t” “We didn’t break the world record for the half marathon”

9. Right on Harrison

I think that it was a bit optimistic of us to think that we could remedy the situation at this point. I always have hope. I convinced the guy in the Alphaflys that we could just run back to the 11 mile mark which was about a mile back the road and resume from there, sure no one would notice. We ran back to the 11 mile mark, fist bumped and resumed racing. I seemed to have more interest in the resumed race and got a gap quite quickly. Then after we passed the 12 mile mark we were sent the wrong way again. We ran on until 14 miles appeared on the watch with no sign of the finish. Then I saw one of the many the police officers picking up the cones. The game was up. We stopped and asked the police officer for directions back. “Turn Right on Harrison”, “Thank you Sir” and off we jogged defeated.

10. Refund > Prize

I think that I was lucky that the half marathon went so wrong. When we finally got back to the start after turning right on Harrison we met the race organiser who was very apologetic, my Alphafly buddy and his coach (think American Donie Walsh) were a little more angry about the whole thing than I was. They obviously hadn’t heard of the Raheny 5 or the Cork Half Marathon. We asked to be refunded the race entry fee which the race organiser said would be no problem, this would only happen in America. As it turns out there were no prizes for winning the race anyway so the best result was to get a refund of the entry fee. The lesson is always enter a race because it’ll be great fun no matter what happens especially abroad, just maybe don’t take them too seriously.

Cork BHAA Stryker 4 Mile

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA Stryker 4 Mile 2022

1. 2006

I think that back in 2006 and this might have been the first BHAA race that I ever ran. It is difficult to believe that I’ve been running these for 16 years. I look way too young and tanned to have been running BHAA races for 16 years. I remember the course was almost identical back then just it started by the church taking and finished in the town. We got a lovely light blue t-shirt which I wore for about 10 years. I didn’t take any t-shirt this time.

2. Why am I Mad?

I think that it is very odd that people think that I am mad for racing the week after a marathon. I don’t think that I am mad at all. I think other people are mad. I see people on Strava do stuff that is way madder than what I do but they never race. Racing is much better than training. There should be rule that you can’t go more than a month with out racing if you aren’t injured otherwise you get banned from racing.

3. Original Magic Shoes

I think that I was never so happy as when I saw the original Next%s appear on the Nike website. It was like a dream come through. They are definitely the original and best magic shoes. They feel bouncier than all the other ones, even the later colours of the Next% are not as good. The ones I got must have been sitting in a warehouse somewhere for the last three years as the box was a bit dusty but they feel so great. I have five pairs now, that should keep me going for a few years.

4. Running Paradise

I think that it is amazing how the cyclepaths around Carrigtohill magically appeared the moment I no longer had to go to the factory for work. For years and years there was nothing but goat tracks around Carrigtohill to run on, you’d do well to make a five mile loop, then we were all sent home forever and when I return the place is a running paradise with links to Glounthaune and Little Island. It is amazing, we should all continue to vote for the Green Party.

5. False Start

I think that the start of the race was a bit chaotic. It is a bad idea to repeatedly test the starting sound which is working perfectly while 600 people are waiting to run. Once we got going I felt all of the badness from the marathon reawaken in my legs. Eric and Denis took off in the lead but it looked like they weren’t doing what they normally do so I should have been able to keep up with them but I couldn’t. Instead, I had to stay back with James McCarthy and a fella in a black singlet who I didn’t know.

6. Established Order

I think that it is very motivating when there is someone you don’t know up ahead of you in a race. Once we turned left at the deadly junction in the village I started to feel less bad. Denis and Eric were just ahead with a fella I didn’t know in between. I have an established order of runners in my head and it is upsetting to me when a race doesn’t play out in accordance with this order. To have someone you don’t know or recognize ahead means you are probably running terribly. This helped greatly as I used the hatred to run up the hill by the ludicrously located train station to pass the fella I didn’t know.

7. Progress

I think that I ran the second and third mile of the race excellently. I was probably the winner of the second and third miles. Once we turned left onto the road where you normally can’t run for fear of being mowed down by a fella in an Audi or BMW estate who is late for a vital morning meeting. I started to make excellent progress. I had dispatched the fella I didn’t know which reduced my worry about the terribleness of the potential time and began working on beating James McCarthy who I quickly passed on the downhill because I’m definitely one of the most excellent runners at downhills.

8. Morning Runs

I think that it helps to have run part of a race over and over again during easy runs. When we turned left for the third time I was onto a stretch of road that I used to run every morning before working from home became a thing. I was in third place within sight of Denis who appeared to be comfortable in the lead and Eric who I thought I could catch. I could hear James McCarthy just behind so I was worried about him as he is a recent convert to magic shoes. If he had of been in his old suction boots I’d have destroyed him.

9. King of Ballintotis

I think that I shouldn’t be too surprised that the King of Ballintotis schooled me in the last 100m of the race. When we turned left for the fourth and final time out onto the Ballyseedy road I felt I had a chance of beating James. I got to the wooded section with the broken up gravel still in third although I could hear him closing so I put in the last of the surges that annoy Michael Herlihy at the farm so much. I thought this had finished him but when we emerged out onto the footpath again a white singlet aggressively and authoritatively brushed passed in a sort of I can’t be beaten by you way. I gave up then and ran the last 50m quite slowly condemned to another fourth place and probably no prize.

10. Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

I think that my finishing position is a good example of statistics. You could try and teach someone about sampling and sample sizes by it. Generally, in a sample of 500 runners I am about the fourth best runner. This has been proven too many times. If the sample size reduces to say 150 like in Doneraile then I have a good chance of being first. But like sampling just because there are only 50 people in a race like in Liscarroll it doesn’t mean that I will be first. That’s why you need to run lots of races and take lots of samples to make sure you get a good estimate of the actual result which is normally fourth when the race is kind of big. See running is all about statistics.

Reykjavik Marathon 2022

1. Cancelled Volcano

I think that if it wasn’t for the volcano I wouldn’t have gone back to Reykjavik for the marathon. The volcano is just outside Reykjavik and hasn’t erupted for 6,000 years. Unfortunately, the day we arrived it decided to stop and go back to sleep. At least the marathon wasn’t cancelled.

2. SuperValu and the Marina Market

I think that Iceland is like living in a country where you can only shop in SuperValu and drink coffee in the Marina Market. It’s not “expensive” as such, mainly because Ireland is just as bad. €7 for a coffee and a croissant is just Cork hipster market prices, it’s still ridiculous but at least it’s in Iceland and not down the docks in Cork City. The shops are just SuperValu prices.

3. Goldilocks

I think that Reykjavik could be one of those goldilocks marathons. It is about the only place in Europe where you can run a marathon in August with temperatures guaranteed to be under 20 degrees and probably below 10. It’s not particularly hilly but not flat. It could be perfect if it wasn’t for one thing, the wind.

4. 156 Words for Wind

I think that Icelandic wind is special. I’m familiar with wind, I grew up under the Galtee mountains, so I have good wind knowledge. I have never experienced anything like Reykjavik wind. A northerly wind that felt like it had come directly from the artic tundra. At the start it looked like a normal day, a perfect day for a marathon. It was only when we reached the coast after a mile that the wind started. Unfortunately the next 10 miles ran directly along the coast.

5. Fly Away Chip

I think that it would be a good idea for the Reykjavik marathon to use a separate chip for timing. The timing chip was attached to the number. The problem with this is that if the number comes off the timing is gone. As we ran along the coast the number was under serious pressure. I began to picture the number breaking free from the safety pins and flying off into the Atlantic never to be seen again. It almost would have been a blessing. To stop it rattling around so much I tucked the number and singlet into my shorts which worked well.

6. Oh Yeah I’m in a Race

I think that I only really started to think about the race after 10 miles. The first 10 miles were all wind, there was nothing else to think about. I let a lot of people go ahead of me while I was thinking about how terrible the wind was. I had considered stopping as the pace as hitting 6:40 pace. Then when we reached the turnaround at about 11 miles I saw that of all the people ahead only three were running the marathon. The first two were well clear and gone but the third and Italian looking fella was only about a minute ahead. Third was money, money was motivation.

7. Inland Catch

I think that I would have run faster in the race if I hadn’t caught the Italian in third so quickly. Once we got off the coast the wind was barely noticeable. I started counting down the gap to the Italian, it is very motivating to see that you are catching money ahead. As we got to 15 miles I caught him and went straight by making sure to bury him. I did feel a bit bad as he was wearing adidas suction boots so it probably wasn’t a fair fight.

8. Fear of Fourth

I think that my fear of fourth place was not as good a motivator as my desire to get into the money in third. Once I had dispatched the poor Italian and his adidas suction boots I was left with 10 miles on my own. Thankfully a steward appeared on a bike and began to cycle a bit in front of me. I’m not sure if I’d have been able to follow the course if it wasn’t for the bike as it was very convoluted in and around housing estates. It’s not a bad course, just lots of bike paths and twists and turns. It goes by quickly.

9. Prisoner of Time

I think that Marathons are ruined by the obsessions with times. I was half disgusted when I got to the finish and saw the time on the big red clock. It was the sort of time that I would expect to click on and see a Strava pace graph falling off a cliff, but it wasn’t like that at all. I ran the last mile and a bit excellently fast; it was very unusual. When I crossed the line I was met by an official who told me I was third and to be at the podium at 11:40 to collect the money.

10. Seventy Five Thousand

I think that I might never win as much money in a race again. Icelandic money is excellent as it is very big. On the podium I was given a bag with a note in it saying that I had won 75000 Icelandic money for third place in the marathon. If I had of been Icelandic it would have been double that. I think I will have to look into Icelandic citizenship, I would be the second-best marathon runner in Iceland. I must have some relatives up there, we are all related to Vikings, perhaps if I grow my hair back it might help. Donal Timothyson.

Liscarroll 7 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Liscarroll 7 Mile

1. Donkey Sanctuary

I think it is apt that Liscarroll is home to a Donkey Sanctuaries and a seven mile race between two old donkeys like myself and John Meade.

2. Castle on the Hill

I think that this was my first time in Liscarroll. Liscarroll is very far from anywhere, especially Glanmire. It is to the opposite side of Mallow to Doneraile but about equally as far away. In addition to the Donkey Sanctuary there is a lovely castle up on the little hill and what looks like a nice pub. John Meade said that Liscarroll means Fort of Carroll.

3. Seven Miles

I think that there aren’t enough seven mile races. It is a lovely distance to run, not as horrible as ten miles and not as short as 10k. I won the last seven mile road race that I ran in Donoughmore so I thought it would be a shame to miss out on the final one of the year. That and I missed the deadline to enter the old man track 5k in Tullamore which has to be entered three months in advance.

4. Sure Who Else Could There Be in Liscarroll

I think that it was rather foolish of myself and John Meade to think that we would have the race to ourselves. Owing to the ridiculous heat I was happy to do John Meade’s abridged warm up of about a mile. When we got back the the car we were greeted by the sight of a thoroughbred Paul Moloney getting warmed up to ruin the donkey derby that we had planned.

5. Compressed Charleville Half Marathon

I think that this route had all the hallmarks of a Michael Herlihy designed course. It was pretty much the Charleville Half Marathon map compressed to seven miles and overlaid on the roads around Liscarroll. The only difference was that there was a slight up hill on the straight road out and a slight downhill on the straight road back. Perhaps the two races should partner up as it was the perfect preparation for Charleville. It even had the heat and humidity.

6. Group of Three

I think that I did everything right in this race. At the start Paul Moloney tore off ahead like we expected, I was left in a group of three with John Meade and Karl Lenihan. It was a lovely civilized group, we ran along together up the slight hill to the three mile mark where there was a much needed water stop.

7. Aqua Bleu

I think that John Meade must be the best man in the local road racing scene at collecting a bottle from the side of the road. As we approached the water stop John moved to the front and got the bottle from the only person standing at the left hand side of the road. Myself and Karl had to veer over to the other side of the road and with that John Meade got a gap. This made me very angry and I considered shouting at John to give back the unfair advantage. Thankfully my fitness is improving so with a massive effort I was able to bridge back up to John and get a gap on Karl reducing the group to two.

8. Gradually Growing Gap

I think that this was possibly my best ever performance against John Meade on the road. I have beaten him on the road before but on all occasions I had Vaporflys and he had Adidas suction boots so that probably doesn’t really count. As we ran back towards Liscarroll I tried everything to keep in touch with him but he just kept pulling away slightly bit by not until I had no hope of catching him. This is probably why they don’t get big audiences for road races on TV as gaps just grow gradually, nothing dramatic ever happens and no one closes a gap ever.

9. Podium

I think that it was wonderful to finally break my run of fourth places. This race was setup for another fourth place as in Galbally Karl Lenihan had flown past me at about 6 miles and bridged up to John Meade so I was particularly worried about him once we got to 10k. Despite the incredible heat I didn’t feel too bad over the last mile and was able to keep John Meade in sight and finish third just behind John and just in front of Karl. There was even a brown envelope for third which I should have given to Tim for minding Billy at the race but I didn’t.

10. 10% Coakley’s

I think that this race deserved a much bigger turn out for such a perfectly organized race. When I looked at the results 10% of the entrants were Coakley’s. Coakley is an extremely rare name. I suppose a Friday night in the middle of August in a heatwave wave when Westlife are playing in Pairc Ui Caoimh probably isn’t the best night for a race. It is definitely one of the better races that I’ve done, hopefully there is a bigger crowd next year, all preparing for Charleville in a big North Cork road racing series.

Kilbeggan 10 2022

10 Things I Think About The Kilbeggan 10 Mile

1. David McWilliams

I think that David McWilliams could do a good economics podcast on road races in 2022. The difference between road races in 2021 and 2022 is amazing. Every road race in 2021 had to be entered months beforehand, people were traveling from Gdansk to do road races and selling entries on Facebook. Now you can rock up 30 minutes before pay a few bob and race the locals, I’m not sure if it is better.

2. Commonwealth Games.

I think that we should adopt the UK attitude to running. In the UK it seems to be par for the course to do a race full tilt and then race the next day thinking nothing of it. Tally-ho old chap. Here you must taper for at least a week before a race and run no more than 5 miles the day before. Then you must perfectly pace your race running each mile at precisely the correct pace so that all the mile bars are the same height on Strava. Perhaps I’ve been watching too much commonwealth games but I think the UK are right.

3. Champion of The Glen

I think that doing a ParkRun the day before a race is dangerous. It is very easy to get carried away. I decided to do The Glen because it is such a nice route and I never get the chance to do it. I thought I would just run around but in the end I got a bit carried away and became Champion of the Glen, contrary to rumours on a podcast I was not running pushing Billy in the buggy, that was the week before in Tramore Valley of Desolation Park when we came 9th.

4. Streets of Galway

I think that I probably should have done the Streets of Galway instead of Kilbeggan. Someone had to mind Billy and that someone was me. I would have run around with the buggy but buggies are only allowed in ParkRuns so I had to settle for watching. I will do the Streets of Galway next year, it looked excellent, very fast, thankfully Galway is close to Kilbeggan so it was easy to go to both.

5. Different Magic Shoes

I think that this was the first race I have been to where everyone in front of me was wearing a different shoe to me. I was beaten by a Next%2, an Adidas Adios Pro 3, a Saucony Pro 3, an AlphaFly 2 and an AlphaFly. I still think that the original yellow and pink Next%s were extra special and that Nike were told to dial it back a bit. All the new shoes seem to have about the same level of magic, except for the Brooks ones, they seem to be nonmagic.

6. No Country for Young Men

I think that road racing is becoming an over 40s sport. In Kilbeggan the battle for third was about between 5 M40s and me. I know I look extremely tanned and young for my age but I am nearly always the youngest person at races even though I am actually nearly old. What is going to happen in 10 years time when I am very old and nearly 46? Will there be anyone to race me? Will the hybrid athletes emerge from the gym and suddenly take up running at 40? John Meade will be nearly 60 and probably still be beating me.

7. Lovely Wind

I think the wind on the road out of Kilbeggan was wonderful in the race. Due to global warming or the natural warmth whatever side of the fence you are on it was too hot for running in Kilbeggan. Thankfully the lovely headwind made it feel like February so a big group of M40s and me were able to run up the hill to the left turn at 3.5 miles in the village who's name I can't remember.

8. My Favourite Road

I think that the Kilbeggan 10 route is one of the better 10 mile routes The boggy road once you turn left off the main road is one of the best sections of road in any race. It has relentless little hills that you can see for miles ahead. They are great fun and if you are in a group you can see which of the magic shoes work better on the uphill and which on the downhill. The AlphaFlys look very bad uphills but very good downhills.

9. Downhill Wind Aided

I think that the last three miles of this race were very annoying. They should have been very fast, the wind was behind us and it is kind of downhill if you forget about the ramp over the motorway. When we turned left off the boggy road onto the road with grass running down the middle of it I suddenly felt the heat, then it felt like someone had thrown a bucket of water over me. I didn’t think I was slowing down as I wasn’t losing or gaining ground on the M40s up ahead but they were slowing too. Humidity is running's enemy.

10. Climate Calculator

I think that MyRunResults or PopUpRaces need to incorporate a heat and humidity calculator into the race results. A 10 mile race in August is like the Raheny 5 in 2022 and a 10 mile race in February is like the Raheny 5 in 2019. I found a basic one on google which told me that I was a lot better than my time which is great. Unfortunately all the M40s would also be a lot better too so I’d still have been 6th just faster and happier. I'll just have to stop racing in the summer.

Kinsale Regatta 5 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Kinsale 5 Mile

1. Operation Quieten Viv

I think that it is a disgrace that Viv is making a show of all the very young runners like me. He’s only running 15:30 for 5k in magic shoes and winning by miles which is a desperate standard. When I found out that he was running Kinsale I had to go to see if I could quieten him.

2. Magic Roads

I think that Kinsale is very hard to get to. The roads don’t make any sense. There isn’t really any road to Kinsale just lots of roads that meet at deadly crossroads where you could easily be killed on your way to the race.

3. Toolbox

I think that there are very few things left in the toolbox for getting better at running. I could try training properly but then it would be really boring and I’d have to tell people that I’m training for a sub 2:30 marathon the whole time and never ever run a race for fear of missing a session. Instead I bought a pair of Asics Metaspeed Sky+. I was going to wear them as I thought they might be magic but I was terrified of being beaten by Jeremy if I didn’t have magic shoes so I didn’t.

4. Strategy

I think that I had a good strategy for the race. I had analysed Viv’s previous races where he had won easily, actually there was only one but he won easily. In that race he was allowed run slowly from the start and then pick it up for the last mile and destroy everyone. I figured it would be a good idea to make it as hard as possible from the start in the hope that he would be wrecked by the time he got to the last mile. Jeremy agreed that was a good plan and agreed to cooperate.

5. 4:56

I think that my plan would have been easier to execute if Gavin O’Rourke hadn’t shown up. While it made taking the race out at what I would call hard easier as we had someone to follow it also made me realise how terribly slow my version of hard is, even with a 4:56 mile Gavin was miles up the road. I was stuck with Jeremy and a hopefully suffering Viv.

6. 4:54

I think that the second mile of this race is completely mad. It is incredibly downhill, well there is one section that is almost vertical. I am exceptional at falling down hills so as soon as we got to this section I went for it. I managed to shed Jeremy but somehow Viv stuck to me like one of those limpets on a rock. We went so fast down the fall that we nearly caught up to Gavin.

7. Davide Rebellin

I think that the third mile of this race was incredible. It was horrible to come off the hill and suddenly meet gravity again. It felt like I was crawling along which I probably was. Viv came up beside me and then promptly danced off away from me. Gavin was a nice bit up the road but Viv continued to prance up to him effortlessly like one of those fellas from the early 2000s in the Tour De France.

8. Hometown Hero

I think that Jeremy was very happy to beat me badly in this race. The last time I saw him this happy was eating his Knickerbocker Glory the night before the Berlin Marathon. He was very clever and hung back on the crazy downhill and let me destroy myself trying to get rid of Viv. Then he caught me on the flat near the three mile mark and then dispatched me on the little hill on the way back into the town. At least it took a PB for him to beat me. It’s definitely a PB course for downhill PBs.

9. Cars into the Gap

I think that just letting Jeremy run away from me on the way back to Kinsale was a bit weak. Those first two miles destroyed my legs, I’m not able for that leg speed. Once Jeremy was gone I was mainly concerned about Fergus who I knew was thinking about beating Jeremy. I was able to relax when they started letting cars into the gap behind me. I knew this meant I was safe in 4th, my third consecutive 4th, my third consecutive race with no prize.

10. Outdoor Dining

I think that the finish of the race is pretty unique. All races should finish in the middle of town where people are sitting outside eating their Michelin Bib Gourmand dinners. When I got to the finish I expected Gavin to have sat behind Viv and kicked by in the last 400. But no Viv had dropped Gavin with a 4:50 last mile and won. I wonder did the outdoor diners realise that they were watching one of the best masters athletes in the world putting on an exhibition. An amazing performance.

Grange Fermoy 4 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Grange Fermoy 4 Mile 2022

1. I Remember

I think that people have bad memories. I remember standing on my individual spray painted x before the 2020 race maintaining social distance and thinking how great it was to have a race. I remember the organizers saying before we started, “remember us when things get back to normal”. I remembered, many didn't.

2. Sea Level

I think that I didn’t spend long enough time at altitude. I only got 6 days, I think John Meade had nearly 9 which is a significant amount. I’m not sure if it makes any difference but I have felt terrible since I came back. The terribleness was probably more to do with the week of double runs but it is easier to blame it on the altitude.

3. T-Shirts On Sale Now

I think that it was a dangerous thing to get a t-shirt made up with a picture of John Meade celebrating breaking the tape and "Well Done John". When I met John Meade wearing said t-shirt he wasn’t very impressed. Thankfully John Walshe was there with a camera to take a photo and tell John Meade how excellent the t-shirt was and not to be upset about it.

4. Ladies Shoes

I think that it was bad enough tormenting John Meade with the t-shirt. Then on the startline of the race I looked down and saw that he was wearing the purple Vaporfly Next%2s. They looked very small. I told him “They are the ladies colour, John Buckley codded you.” I think he was very angry after this. In fairness they are very un John Meade shoes, the complete opposite of the Adidas suction boots he used to wear.

5. Good Memories

I think that it would have been better if Sergiu, Pat and John Meade hadn’t remembered the race. There was €300 for the winner which would have helped to pay for the altitude. When the race started it was pretty obvious that 4th was probably as good as I could hope for. Unfortunately the money ended at 3rd.

6. Maybe I Got Better

I think that after two miles I thought that the altitude and extra miles had made me better. Sergiu and Pat were well gone but after opening an initial anger fueled gap I managed to catch up to John Meade and I was happy to sit behind him and hope that my altitude was better than his.

7. No I Didn’t

I think that my altitude training ran out after two miles. Once we reached that little hill before we turned left onto the main road I knew that John Meade was going to destroy me. The minute the road turned any bit upwards he put the foot down and opened a big gap. It probably isn’t a good idea to wind up your competition just before a race.

8. Humidity and Wind

I think that the two invisible factors in this race were the wind and the humidity. It was a terrible day for running. Once we turned off the main road the wind started, combine this with the gradual uphill and it was pretty miserable watching John Meade disappearing into the distance appearing to enjoy the wind.

9. Two Seconds

I think that the worst thing about running is that you can spend a full year training and come back to a race you did the year before after about 3 weeks of running and run two seconds slower. It is an infuriating sport. Was all the training pointless? Was training at altitude on the track with Mo Farah detrimental? It is a terrible terrible sport.

10. Consecutive 4ths

I think that finishing fourth is terrible. It seems to be the trend that races have big prize money but only for the top 3 and perhaps an old man prize. I was better off when I never won any money from races. Perhaps next year Sergiu, Pat and John Meade will forget the lesson of 2020 and I can collect the €300.

Mooreabbey Milers 10 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Mooreabbey Milers 10 Mile

1. Keep It Local

I think that when it comes to road races it is always best to keep it local. There is no need to be going to Spain or Edenderry when there is a race 10 minutes drive from where you grew up.

2. It’s Not How You Run, It’s Who’s Running, That's What's Important

I think that it is a terrible mindset to get into to be relying on other people not to show up to win a few bob. I was terribly disappointed to drive into the car park to see Paul Moloney looking up at the Galtees getting ready to warm up. Then to make it worse I turned around to see Sergiu drive into the car park. At least I had some hope of third.

3. Hedge Schools

I think that John Meade’s ability to get to the start line of a these small local road races without being spotted is incredible. It’s almost as if he hides in the car before the start and then appears to psych me out. The first inkling I got that he was running was just before the start when the Grange Fermoy runners said that they had seen him but I thought they were just winding me up. Then I spotted him through the gap in the hedge by the start doing some sort of calisthenics. Now I had no hope of third.

4. Bad Luck to You Too

I think that you know you have raced someone too often when you wish someone bad luck at the start, and they reciprocate the greeting. I am fed up of being beaten by John Meade. It's not fun anymore.

5. More Mountains

I think that the changes that were made to the route of the 10 miler for this year have made it a better route. Unfortunately the changes managed to add more hills to a route that already had many hills. My ego is taking quite a beating from running only in hilly races, I mainly run races so that people will look at my Strava and think “wow that is very fast, I am very jealous” but because of all the hills I’m sure that they are going “oh that’s very slow, I’d probably beat that, the shoes must have worn off”.

6. Water Sponsored by Sergiu

I think that it is a pity that Sergiu didn’t sponsor the first water table with water bottles like he threatened to do after the race. Normally in Ireland no one needs water in a 10 miler but in Galbally in July when it is 25 degrees water is a nice to have. I am very good at drinking out of cups while running from having run Berlin Marathon so I didn’t mind the eco friendly water.

7. Meade Tactics

I think that John Meade doesn’t just rely on his running ability to beat me. He is a ruthless racer, people think he is a very nice man but his race tactics are straight from the Lance Armstrong book of how to win a race. Getting to the water table first and then surging after the water table is a disgraceful thing to do. I wasn’t feeling too bad when he did it so I was able to catch up but it was unnecessary and evil. Then after about 6 miles as we turned off the road to Garyspillane he put in a big kick at the turn and got a gap which I couldn’t respond to and promptly disappeared off up the hilly road with grass running down the middle of it.

8. West Limerick

I think that once John Meade had dispatched me I started to worry about who was behind. Not long after we turned onto the hilly road I heard footsteps behind. Then a West Limerick vest flew by at a pace that made it impossible to even think about following. He was going so fast that I was pretty sure he’d catch John Meade which he did. This made me happy as I knew that John Meade would think it was me and get worried and stressed.

9. Should I Stop?

I think that it shows how vicious a runner John Meade is that the poor fella from West Limerick ended up pulling up in a heap about 400m from the finish line. The last mile is a lovely downhill mile with the Galtees on your right, I was happy enough in fifth but then I saw the West Limerick vest hit the ground having succumbed to John Meade's vicious pace. I considered stopping to help him but by the time I got to him he was standing and looked ok so I ran on and stole the position back. Fourth is better than fifth as it looks like John Meade didn’t beat me by as much as he did.

10. Ice is Nice

I think that the person who decided to put the ice into the little ziplock bags and bring them to the finish is a very great person. It was very, very hot by the time the race finished, probably close to 25 degrees which is hotter than I ever remember it being in Galbally ever. The ice made all the many hills worthwhile, John Meade made up for his antics by getting me water and then left me to go to the podium with Sergiu and Paul. I suppose I’ll have to get used to not collecting prizes again. Someone must have realized that I normally get a prize so they gave me a consolation prize of a bottle of wine which was almost as nice as the ice.

Achill Half Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About The Achill Half Marathon

1. Second Captains

I think that David O’Doherty’s Second Captains podcast is responsible for putting Achill on the map. I’d never heard of the place until 2020. The podcast made it sound wonderful and woeful all at the same time. The perfect place for a half marathon.

2. 2020 Optimism

I think that this is the last of my 2020 race entries used up. It’s funny to think that in the middle of the 2020 lockdown I thought that July 2020 in Achill would be fine, so I entered. Always be optimistic, most of the races I entered eventually happened, this one only took two years.

3. No Room at the Inn

I think that there must be a lot of podcast fans. There wasn’t a room to be had on the rugged island the night before the race. I had to book a room above a pub in Newport. A very nice room but 25 minutes from the only SuperValu on Achill and 40 minutes from the capital city of Keel where the race started. Once you got to Keel there was lovely parking in a sheep field by the beach. I’m not sure staying on the island was an advantage other than having the honour of staying on the island.

4. What time are you going for?

I think that Gary O’Hanlon probably thought I was some yahoo when I said 74-75 minutes was what I thought I’d run. I hadn’t a clue what the course was like, so I just said what I’d hope for on a moderate course. In reality I just wanted to get around with out having to go on one of the many rocks that make the island famous.

5. Conversations with Gary

I think that the first few miles of the race were great. I went off reasonably hard and after about 800m it was just myself and Gary. I remembered a story that John Meade told me about the Dingle Half Marathon where he spent the entire race talking to Gary so I thought it would be a good idea to do the same. We had a great chat. I’m sure John Meade told a lot more excellent stories than I did.

6. Ac-Hill

I think that the clue about the course is in the name. Achill is very, very, very hill. There is no flat, well maybe a few 100m at the start before you start the three mile climb out of Keel towards the chipper at the top of the hill. When we were halfway up the very long hill Gary asked me the pace, I said it was about 5:50, he was happy with this, he said 6:20 would have been unacceptable so we proceeded on together chatting with a sort of gentleman’s agreement that Gary would win and I would be second at best.

7. The Elusive Last Hill

I think that for a man that has run the course a good few times Gary’s idea of the last hill was way off. He started talking about the last hill when we were passing the magic disappearing beach in Doogort. This was at about 9 miles. I knew that the last hill was probably the last I was see of Gary so I took it that when we stopped talking that was the last hill. This happened somewhere between mile 10 and 11.

8. Where’s Third?

I think that because I was talking to Gary I kind of forgot about the race. I had asked Gary earlier to look behind to see if there was anyone near. He had a quick look behind and wasn’t too concerned. Just before he took off on the last hill he had another look around and unreassuringly said there was a white singlet about 200m back. 200m isn’t much so I kind of had to chase after Gary when he left me on the last hill. Kevin English came by on a bike then and said the gap was more like 45 seconds to the white singlet in third so I relaxed a bit. The last two miles were lovely and downhill so I wasn’t too worried about being caught.

9. Big Gap

I think that the finish of the race is worth all the hills. It finishes in front of Keel beach which is the second nicest beach on the island after the confusingly similarly named Keem beach. Gary managed to open a minute of a gap in two miles which reinforced the fact that I was very second and never actually in contention to win. He was so fast that they had to make him run through the line again afterwards to take photos. The whole thing was very John Meade, sort of like they knew he was going to win.

10. Cheque

I think that there is no better place to spend the afternoon waiting to collect a prize than Keel beach. The prizes were presented on the beach about two hours after the race was finished, it was so sunny that I got extra tanned while waiting. No one is in any rush on Achill because sure what else would you be doing on a rugged island for the day. The prize was well worth the wait and was presented in the excellent form of a cheque, no envelope just a cheque. Like the island itself it’s a unique half marathon, one of the best ones. I might start doing it every year.