10 Miles des Baines

10 Things I Think About The 10 Miles des Baines Capbreton

1. 10 Miles in France

I think that I did well to find a 10 mile race in France. I didn’t go looking for one specifically there just happened to be one on near Bordeaux and there was a flight from Cork. The race was on in a town called Capbreton which looked like Dungarvan on the map so I thought it would be good.

2. Vin Rouge

I think that I felt under pressure after Rhona and John Meade’s victories in Listrac the day before. They won six bottles of wine, a plant and two wine glasses at a 17km race through a vineyard. It was a very good race to watch with everything from elite runners to Chewbacca taking part. Chewbacca was a big hit with Billy so we had to follow him around for a while after he finished.

3. Hotel Baya

I think that having a race that starts outside your hotel is wonderful. I didn’t realize that the hotel that I’d booked was the race headquarters when we arrived on the Saturday night after dropping John Meade off in Bordeaux to go back rioting. The receptionist was all apologies about the hotel not being accessible in the morning due to the race which was fine by me.

4. Mexican Wave

I think that doing a Mexican wave before the start of the race was one of the more unusual pre-race rituals I have taken part in. It seems to be a thing in France as they did it the day before in Listrac also. It involved everyone crouching down on the start line which I find almost impossible due to my bad right knee. I crouched down anyway as best I could and did the wave before we took off towards the sea. The race had about 1000 entrants so very Dungarvan like.

5. Decathlon

I think that this was the first time I have raced someone who was wearing Decathlon magic shoes. When the race went off. I recognized one of the runners Cedric from a race I did in France about 5 years ago so I said hello. He told all the other runners I was Irish which was helpful. Then I recognized Freddy Guimard the Decathlon athlete who ran 2:15 in the Paris Marathon the week before. The Decathlon magic shoes must be ok if he’s back racing a week later.

6. Peloton

I think that the first five miles of the race were very nice. We ran along the harbour on a cyclepath in a group of about 8 or 9. I sat at the back because I didn’t know the route and the pace was just about at my limit for 10 miles. It was like being in a peloton with the runners in front pointing out the various obstacles on the cycle path. Then we went under a bridge and started onto a gravely path along what looked like a river or a lake.

7. Paris Roubaix

I think that it was fitting on the day of Paris Roubaix that part of the route was like Paris Roubaix. After 5 miles our group was lined out running on the edge of the water on a half a meter wide concrete embankment trying to avoid the sandy gravely path to make maximal use of the magic shoes. At this point Freddy and another Frenchman made a break with my acquaintance Cedric leaving me with a group of 5 fighting for 4th. I was surprised at how easy it was to stay balanced on the embankment. It would have made an excellent photo.

8. Le Sable

I think that I probably should have studied the route in more detail before the race. Around 7 miles into the race the route went onto a beach which I did not know anything about, and we had to run through thick sand for about 500m. It was like a section of cross country race thrown into the middle of the Dungarvan 10 for the craic, if it was thrown into a race back home there would be uproar as people wouldn’t be able to run great P.Bs by me, I loved it. I can confirm that the Vapofly 3 is very good at draining sand. I must be good at sand running because I moved up to 4th in the sand and we caught and passed Cedric who had dropped from the Freddy group.

9. Stairs

I think that while we were running through the sand I started to dream of the podium and the champagne. I was right behind third place waiting for the road to recommence. Unfortunately, the way out of the sand involved climbing a set of stairs which I am unbelievable bad at. The guy in third danced up the stairs and put an incredible distance into me in the space of 200m so the podium and champagne was gone.

10. Cinquième

I think that it is very difficult to do well in the races abroad. You don’t know the course so you kind of have to follow someone at all times. On the way back to the finish I ran with whom I presume was a local, we helped each other in the wind and made some ground on the fella in third. The finish was back outside the hotel which was great. Unfortunately, I neither caught the fella in third nor beat the fella I was running with, so I ended up in 5th. The first place outside the prizes again. At least I am consistently about the 4th or 5th best in these races whether its in Ireland or France. I just wish I was a tiny bit better, I would have loved to have been on the podium spraying champagne.

Streets of Kilkenny 5K 2023

10 Things I Think About The Streets of Kilkenny 5K

1. Hardest Race in The Country

I think that this must be one of the hardest races in the country for someone from Cork who is not a teacher to run. I have entered and failed to run this race on at least four occasions. Mostly it was entering the race well in advance and then the week before typing Kilkenny into Google maps and realizing it was much farther away than it looks and beyond the acceptable range for a Thursday night in April. I was determined to make an effort this year.

2. Cobh Repercussions

I think that a normal 10 mile race the a few days before a 5k in magic shoes would be perfectly fine but Cobh was not a normal 10 mile road race. On Monday I was half crippled with hamstring and quad badness that was worse than any marathon I’ve run. I was debating not bothering going to Kilkenny again but then the weather got nice and a new pair of Vaporflys arrived at the door.

3. Give us 15 Extra Minutes

I think that it would make a big difference for the people of Cork if this race started at 1945 instead of 1930. It is about 90 minutes from beyond the tunnel to Kilkenny. Most Cork people work until 5pm which doesn’t leave much time for traffic and putting your Vaporflys in the boot. I arrived in Kilkenny which is much bigger than I thought at 1900, abandoned the car somewhere near the start ran over to collect the number and back to the car to install the Vaporflys before running back over to the start at the castle. It was very rushed if efficient.

4. Holy Thursday

I think that the start line of the race was very intimidating. There were an awful lot of very good runners on the start line some of whom you’d be more used to seeing on YouTube. Everyone was huddled together on the start line a good 10 minutes before the start which never makes sense to me. Before the start the man with the microphone attempted to thank the many sponsors but the speaker stopped working so he wisely gave up and we were quickly underway down the hill away from the Castle.

5. Wallop

I think that the starts of these packed 5ks are very dangerous. This one was no different. After about 50m I heard the most horrible sound of a man hitting marble. It was a very similar sound to a crash in cycling without the metal noise, more of a thud than a crunch. The thought briefly crosses your mind that you should stop and help before you quickly realize that stopping would be a terrible idea and the best thing to do is keeping going and try not to fall yourself. I’m not sure if anything can be done to prevent it, it’s every person for themselves at the start so people should probably just learn how to keep themselves upright.

6. Carrera Populares

I think that this race is a perfect example of why every town in the country needs to be pedestrianized. It was wonderful to run through the narrow medieval streets at dusk without the threat of being run over by a car. The crowd of people out watching the race made it feel like a cross country race where you never let up because there’s always someone cheering you on. The two laps make it even better for the crowd because they get to see the contrast between the effortless first lap and the tortuous second lap. Possibly the best course in the country. I’m sure they could do something similar/better in Cork City.

7. Vaporfly Cubed

I think that this was the perfect race to test out the new Vaporflys. I didn’t like the second edition at all. They were too firm and not bouncy at all, like fake Vaporflys but not fake. The third edition are much more to my liking. They are very squishy and soft under foot, they are so squishy that you’d think that they would be slower than normal shoes. When you get up to speed though the squishiness turns into springiness and suddenly you are bouncing along like that first wonderful race in magic shoes, it was nice to have that feeling back again.

8. Special Ks

I think that the organization of the race was impeccable. Everything was perfect. They had about a million traffic cones to keep the nasty cars away and because of the two lap course they had cleverly employed mobile kilometer markers that were held up by people. That was very clever. It is a very good sign of a 5 kilometer race when it is over quicker than you thought but still actually the correct distance.

9. Starships

I think that the music along the route was a great addition. Normally music in races can be annoying but the “Starships” song that was being played at kilometre four was the perfect rhythm for my bouncy slow Vaporfly stride. It motivated me so much that I started to make inroads into Barry who was just up ahead on his own.

10. Use Your Speed

I think that a race like Kilkenny is very difficult as there are so many people to race you can’t focus your hatred on one person so you end up kind of overwhelmed. I was exceptionally motivated for three miles, making good ground after a calm start. I had gotten past James Hayes which I thought was excellent and thought I was going to get Barry which would have been wonderful. Unfortunately, as my watch beeped for three miles my legs and lungs gave up. Someone shouted. “Leevale, use your speed” obviously confusing me for someone else from Leevale. The last bit took me what seemed like an age and as I was halfway up the ascent to the finish in front of the castle James Hayes danced by completing the Cork Track Club ambush. It was probably just about worth the three hours in the car on a Thursday night in April.

Cobh 10 2023

10 Things I Think About The Cobh 10

1. Cobh Tan

I think that any visitors to Cobh for the race must think that the weather is good all of the time in Cork. Last year it was sunny and calm, almost incredible, the same this year which was miraculous given the week before. Seamus Somers said that this must be why I’m so tanned, Cobh must be like Malaga to a person from Sligo.

2. Warm Up

I think that parking for the race was wonderful. I drove straight into the middle of Cobh and parked right by the finish. I knew that the start was up at the top of a crazy hill as I had pushed a buggy up the hill last year with a bad hamstring when Rhona did the race. I only had time for a mile of a warmup along the flat before installing the magic shoes and beginning the ascent to the start. I ran up the hill with the different colored houses where all the tourists were taking photos. It was a suitable warm up for what lay ahead.

3. Weeeeeeee

I think that this must be the only net downhill course in the world that is slower than if it was flat. The first half a mile is relatively normal, like any road race in East Cork, then the madness begins with a sweeping right-hand descent that is so steep it’s difficult to keep your legs moving fast enough not to trip up.

4. Bere Island

I think the only other race I have run with steeper hills than Cobh was on Bere Island. Bere Island is probably easier than Cobh because there is only one hill, there are two Galtee like climbs in Cobh which deserve names they are so steep. If it was cycling they’d have names and people would paint our names on them.

5. Olympians

I think that it was interesting to be involved in the battle between the Olympians. I didn’t really want to be involved in the battle, but I had no choice as I wasn’t fast enough to get up the road to Michael Bruton. It’s great to see people racing each other, racing is what the sport is about. It’s called a road race not a road time trial. If I was good, I’d race everyone all of the time.

6. Tour of Cobh

I think that all my years spent watching cycling on Eurosport paid off in this race. The Cobh 10 course is like the Tour of Flanders without the cobbles on the climbs. From watching cycling I knew not to attack the bottom of the climb like everyone else seems to do, the most important thing is to get to the bottom of the climb in first then relax for the first half of the climb, then make an effort when you can see the top so that you can run hard over the top of the climb and get good momentum for the descent. I’m not actually sure if this is the best way but it feels good and it doesn’t spike your heartrate too much.

7. Heywood

I think that the performance of the day was probably from Heywood or possibly Michael Bruton. I spent 100% of the race with Heywood which is not what I was expecting, I was expecting to spend about 62% of the race with him as this was his first 10 miler however 10 milers are more like 10ks now because of magic shoes so it probably isn’t that surprising. When I was a young fella in 2010 you couldn’t do back to back 10 mile races without having to spend 20 minutes in an MRI machine the following week.

8. Spaghetti Junction

I think that the Cobh course was particularly confusing. I never really knew where I was on the island at any time until we got back onto the main road at 8 miles and I could see Passage West. Where do all those other roads go? They don’t seem to serve any purpose other than to pummel the legs of cyclists and runners in magic shoes. There was one particularly confusing junction where we went straight on even thought there was a signpost to the left saying Cobh 4km. I had to shout at a steward to know where to go as there is no sign language for straight on.

9. The Island of Many Train Stations

I think that it is hard to define the last hill on this course. When you come out onto the road across from Passage West you’d think that the hills are over. There are however two nasty little mini hills left which can do a lot of damage. I was still with Heywood who I didn’t really want to get rid of as he was good help with the mild breeze as we started the second last hill up to the second of the three train stations in Cobh. I knew Aoife was 10 to 15 seconds behind as every time we went by someone, 10-15 seconds later you heard a “Well Done Aoife” at least it wasn’t “Well Done John”.

10. The Last Dance

I think that you know you are getting old and cranky when young fellas start tormenting you. What Heywood did to me on the sprint to the line was disgraceful, disrespectful and unsportsmanlike. It is ok to do a little celebration like a jump or a fist bump when you beat someone but it is not ok to do a side to side dance with your arms when you are only sprinting for fifth in Cobh and there are only prizes for the top four. If it was in America he’d have been disqualified and rightly so. I gave him a good talking to afterwards like a proper cranky old man, he won’t do it again, he will probably beat me again, that is if either of us ever recover from the hills of Cobh.

Mallow 10 2023

10 Things I Think About The Mallow 10 2023

1. Last Year

I think that it is a very scary thing to do to return to the sight of your last running injury. It is a minor miracle that I have completed a year without injury considering that the running that I do is completely wrong. No one, not even PhDs in physiotherapy know or can predict what causes a running injury. It could well have been that Mallow was the cause of my last running injury and not wrong training and racing. There was only one way to find out, run Mallow again.

2. Rice

I think that eating enough the day before a race is very important. I’m beginning to think that despite my bigness I probably don’t eat enough mainly because the internet gets into your head and makes you think you shouldn’t be eating food at all. Because I felt that I didn’t eat enough before the night before Tokyo Marathon, as an experiment I am going to try and eat as much rice as is possible the day before a race to see if it makes a difference. I managed two full bags of basmati rice the night before Mallow which was a good start to the experiment. Three might be possible.

3. Hi B

I think that Mallow is a very good place to hold a race. It is very easy to get to as long as you don’t have to come through Castletownroche like I had to. There is lots of easy free parking and if you are very clever you can park outside the Hi B leisure centre and use the toilet there before jogging down to the start at a nice castle.

4. Caution

I think that when you have suffered an injury in a race previously due to starting like an idiot because the race was starting in a Castle it is a good idea not to do the same thing again. At the start there were annoying people like Viv who had self-sabotaged by running 10 miles before the actual race talking nonsense about not taking the race seriously. This made it very difficult not to go off hard to get away from them, but I was very sensible and took it handy on the gravel path out of the castle so as not to injury my hamstring like last year. When we were out on the road I made a little effort and made sure to get a good bit ahead of Viv.

5. Group Theory

I think that it is very important to find a group in a 10 mile road race. There would be nothing worse than running along the hard shoulder of a national road on your own trying to run a time into a northly wind. I have found that Michael McMahon is the perfect person to run with so I was always going to try and find him which I did. Also joining us were Barry and Tom, a nice little group of four, perfect for sharing the work into the slight northly headwind.

6. A Butterfly Flaps It’s Wings

I think that Barry needs to watch some cycling races on Eurosport. Our little group of four had it’s first test on the incredibly long straight down to the roundabout. Barry was at the front setting the pace, being the nice man that he is Michael McMahon gently went to move past in a non-threatening manner that could only be interpreted as a taking a turn into the wind move especially it being 2 miles into a 10 mile race. Instead, Barry took it as a deadly assault and surged ahead. I shouted at Michael McMahon to let him off, which he listened to, so we left Barry 30m in front of us on his own while we took turns into the wind all the way down to the roundabout by which time we had caught Barry again.

7. Amadán

I think that this was the first time in a race where I have been afraid that a fight might break out mid race. Because of Barry’s fear of being passed, myself and Michael McMahon sat behind Barry for the next three or four miles. Then as we went by the racecourse Barry turns around and says “Will ye ever do some work?”. We were both stunned almost speechless “what did you think I was trying to do earlier you clown” was the rather angry response.

8. Two Angry Men

I think that it was a bad idea to let Barry and Michael McMahon get angry in a race. They are not lacking in motivation in the first place, add anger to the mix and you get two unbeatable machines. After the curious incident of Barry being called a clown, we turned left off the main road and the two lads took off, Michael McMahon sitting right behind Barry to make a point. I was left with Tom who despite doing no work into the wind had avoided being called a clown.

9. Tom

I think it is great that there are a new crop of runners coming through. Donie always seems to capture them for Leevale. I don’t know where he found Tom but he seems very good not quite good enough to catch up to a raging war between Barry and Michael McMahon but good enough to destroy me in the last mile.

10. No Reoccurrence

I think that it was great to get through this race without a reoccurrence of last years hamstring injury in the last mile. I was terrified going past the place where it went last year. I can still remember Damian dancing on by delighted to beat me. I was convinced it would happen again and that Viv would fly by on his 20th mile of the day saying “Well done, keep it up” as he pranced by. Thankfully I had no problems apart from not being able to keep up with Tom. Barry won the war.

Streets of Portlaoise 5k 2023

10 Things I Think About The Streets of Portlaoise 5k 2023

1. Peugeot Series

I think that it’s great that Peugeot have replaced Kia as the sponsor of the race series. I’m unsure if the sponsorship actually works because if I’m at a rental car counter and the rep says Kia or Peugeot the reply is always “Ah no, have you got anything else like say a Volkswagen.” The lead car did look nice, not what you’d expect a Peugeot to look like.

2. Miserable

I think that the weather was particularly miserable for the race. It was a St Patrick’s Day special, incredibly grey, wet but not raining, cold but not cold and humid but not warm. Utterly horrible a day for the pub or perhaps the bookies.

3. Warm Up

I think that my warm up was impacted by Lizzie Lee. She does a very slow warm up, even though she was wearing magic shoes and I wasn’t, I kept having to slow down to run with her. Then she said my time in Tokyo wasn’t great and gave out to me about my blog.

4. No Go

I think that the start of this race felt exactly as you’d expect a 5k would feel 12 days after a marathon. There’s a certain freedom in it all the same, expecting nothing from the race is sort of liberating. I stood care free on the start-line beside Michael Harty afraid to say anything to him because he looked like he was concentrating on the race. The race went off at what felt like a ridiculous pace and I was quickly swamped by the crowd with legs that wished they weren’t running a 5k.

5. All The People, So Many People

I think that it was great that there were so many people in the race. Going through the town the first time around was like a big city marathon with people everywhere. I tried to catch up to Mark Walsh and Michelle Finn but I wasn’t able so I just tried to keep them in sight.  There were a remarkable number of young fellas in the race which was unusual, perhaps running is getting popular again.

6. Not Much I Can Do Here Now

I think that it is very important to be realistic about what is going to happen in a race. After about 2km I started to feel ok like my legs had woken up. I couldn’t actually run any faster but I felt like an airplane that had reached cruising altitude, it was exactly as I expected utterly pointless. I got left in no mans land about 50m behind Michelle Finn to fight the wind on my own.

7. Climate Control

I think that wind is the worst of the climactic conditions that you can encounter in a race. Nothing will derail a potential great PB by me more than a bad wind. There was only a minor wind in Portlaoise but it was bad enough to make the last mile the slowest.

8. Small, Far Away

I think that the straight sections on the course are a little deceptive. On the straights you could be fooled into thinking that you were on for a great PB by me as you could see a small Michael Harty in the far distance and a full size Mark Walsh in the near distance.

9. Vaporfly 3

I think that today is the first time I saw the Vaporfly 3 in the wild in Ireland, they were on the feet of Michelle Finn, you wouldn’t have known unless you were behind her like me and could see the rock catching groove in the new version. They looked very fast and they were used to beat me badly. The arms race continues, the arms race that involves transferring €275 to Nike, Asics and soon probably ON every 3 to 6 months.

10. Palpable Disgust

I think that the finishing area was an interesting sight. It was a collection of confused and disillusioned runners pointing at their watches in disbelief seeking comfort from someone else having run just as bad a time. The only person who seemed pleased naturally enough was the winner Eoin Everard, everyone else had been beaten by the clock, the rain, wind, cold, humidity and slight hill. Never mind the weather might be better next time and if not the cross country will be back soon.

Tokyo Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Tokyo Marathon 2023

1. Mobile Phone

I think that the Tokyo marathon was the most complicated marathon I have ever entered. The Japanese love rules and complications. The main source of stress for this race was that you needed to bring your phone to the start to show them that you didn’t have Covid. We had to log our temperatures the week before and do two antigen tests to get a green light on an app, then scan a QR code to access the start area. I missed the week long period where you could buy a bag drop so I had I had to figure out what to do about the phone. I bought an old phone for €50 off Done Deal and decided I’d figure out what to do with it when I got to the start line.

2. Tik Tok

I think that the start line of the marathon was amazingly quiet. It was surprisingly easy to get up to the front. When I got there all the Japanese runners were sitting down in silence, no chit chat nothing, just silence. It was bizarre. Being unable to stay silent I got talking to an American who should have been in corral C but had snuck into the A corral. He was the first TikTokker I have ever met. TikTokking is very unjapanese and involves shouting into a phone “Tokyo Marathon Baby, Let’s Go, Whooooo”. I don’t know what the Japanese made of it. I thought it was great.

3. Free Phone

I think that it feels very odd throwing away a phone. As the start approached the Japanese stood up and readied themselves for action, I noticed that a lot of them were wearing these round stickers on certain body parts, like KT tape just way smaller and rounder. They have a remarkable ability not to touch anyone, it’s like there is a force field around them, there was no jostling or pushing all very mannerly. I still hadn’t figured out what to do with the phone so I offered it to the TikTokker. “I don’t want your phone man”. So I hid it under a pile of clothes on the raised concrete that divides the dual carriageway and that was the last I saw of it. Off went the confetti gun and away we went.

4. This is Not Right

I think that it would be disrespectful of Japanese culture not to be a little bit ambitious with your pacing in Tokyo. I thought I’d try something like 3:25-3:30/km pace and see how it went, internet calculators said it was possible based on recent results although internet calculators don’t account for zero sleep two nights before the race. After a few kilometres I was on my own with a German guy. He asked me what I was aiming for, sub 2:30 I said. In a uniquely cross German way he replied “you are on 2:26 pace, this is not right”. So I left him go and dropped back a bit.

5. Tidy

I think that tidiness is contagious. I am the complete opposite of Japanese. I’m surprised at the airport they didn’t assign someone to follow me around to clean up after me, perhaps they did and I just haven’t seen him. There are no bins in Japan but the place is spotless. In the race they threatened to disqualify you if you littered. It’s amazing that when everyone else does it you make an effort so at every water station I tried my best to throw my gel wrappers and water cups into the box bins which were in between each table. I think I did a good job and I didn’t get disqualified.

6. Elite Shelter

I think that when you are trying to break 2:30 in the marathon one of the best tactics is to follow the elite women. I saw Lisa Weightman up ahead at around 10k so I decided she would be a good person to pace off. She seemed to think the same about me so for the next 15k or so I had an Australian shadow. In fairness I was probably the best wind shelter in the race. I was a very popular wind shelter and by about 15k I had a big group of mainly Japanese hiding behind me.

7. Gel Belly

I think that arriving in Japan on a Friday evening two days before a marathon is a very bad idea. The jet lag is horrendous and you lose a day of food and sleep. Up until 25k I felt wonderful, then gradual I started to feel tired and almost sleepy. My legs were fine I just had no energy and a belly full of Maurten gels that seemed to be doing nothing. I didn’t blow up, I just gradually got passed by everyone who was sheltering in my shadow.

8. Black Spots

I think that the last three miles of the marathon were very tough. The only consolation was that there were many many Japanese runners to pass even at my reduced pace. I started to see black spots from about 23 miles which was a bit worrying but my legs were ok so I just kept going as best I could. My memory of the last three miles is speckled sort of like old video footage. I don’t know what causes the black spots probably low blood sugar combined with a lack of sleep.

9. Scientists

I think that marathons need to stop finishing on cobbled streets. Why do we need cobbles in marathons, they’re fine when you are running well but horrible when struggling. The last mile of the race is on possibly the only cobbled street in Tokyo. It was an odd experience. There was a big crowd out watching all masked up as is the way in Japan. The Japanese don’t really do cheering so they are just watching you like scientists observing an experiment which is probably what a marathon is anyway. Then you turn left at the end of the cobbled street lined with silent masked people and there’s the finish with the Palace in the background. They give you your medal, bow, ask you to sanitise your hands and give you a mask. All very Japanese, very excellent.

10. Kabuki

I think that the problem with marathons is that there is always a what if, if you run a PB it’s what if I’d gone a bit faster, if you fade it’s what if I’d gone slower. The fellas that run even splits are the most annoying, one of them was Ken Rideout, Viv’s world M50 rival who steamed past me at about 22 miles. When we crossed the finish line I got talking to him mainly about how he was going to crush Viv which I liked and empathised with. I had the mask that the volunteers insisted I wear on. “Take that mask off, I’ve enough of this Kabuki nonsense, I just ran 2:29 at 51 years old” he said which I did. He was dead right but the Kabuki nonsense is also most of the fun of Japan.

Adare 10k 2023

10 Things I Think About The Adare 10k

1. Limerick

I think that I will do more races in Limerick. I’m from Limerick not Cork even if I have spent nearly all my life in Cork. When I started running there were no races in Limerick, then there was the Ballyhoura series and now there are lots.

2. Tiger Woods

I think that Adare is an unusual place. It is like an oasis in a desert of terrible roads, a bizarre place, like someone from Limerick County Council decided to copy Kenmare and got funding from J.P McManus. It is a very good copy, very clean and tidy with a nice golf course and Manor. It would be nice if the race went in around the Manor but I suppose the golf is very important.

3. Late/Elite

I think that it is just as well that I can just about qualify for an elite entry for some local races. I wish that they would call it something other than elite, perhaps “Decent Club Runner Entry” or “Moderate Responder to Training Entry”. The only reason I went for an elite entry is because I missed the normal entry, and it was sold out. I emailed Kevin O’Donoghue with the required evidence of time over 10k and was quickly sorted. Very efficient.

4. Cold

I think that it was sufficiently cold enough in Adare to wear arm warmers without being accused of being a Kipchoge wannabe. Arm warmers are ridiculous looking things and probably completely unacceptable for a 37 year old man from Anglesboro to be seen wearing in public. They do however help when it is cold like in Adare. My ones are €8 from Decathlon so they aren’t as bad as the Nike ones.

5. Numero Uno

I think that Rory Chesser is a good target to have in a race. It helped that he was wearing the number one. I wanted to try and run 32 minutes for 10k and decided that Rory was the 32-minute man. At the start just like in Dungarvan William Maunsell was gone, unlike Dungarvan there was no man in a van tormenting him about a course record after 200m. Niall Shanahan was just off the back with Rory just ahead of my group which contained lots of people like me, some of whom were also wearing arm warmers and all of whom were wearing magic shoes.

6. The First Hill

I think that I did too much work over the first 4k of the race. I could see Rory an annoying distance ahead, I thought John Kinsella would be interested in catching him but he seemed happy to run steady, so I went to the front and tried to catch Rory. It wasn’t too bad as the wind was behind us. I didn’t succeed in catching Rory but I kept the gap the same. Then at 4km we met the first of many small hills and quickly realised that John Kinsella and Declan Moore were much better at running up hills. A gap quickly developed which only Chris Jeuken was able to bridge.

7. An East Wind Blows No Good

I think that was a particularly evil wind in Adare yesterday. It was a very unusual wind, from the east, very cold and very strong. It would have been much better if the wind was from the normal direction. Once we got to 5k the wind started to have an impact. Despite knowing that it would be very bad to get stuck on my own after 5k I got stuck in no mans land just off the back of the Kinsella led group.

8. Thank God for Colm Turner

I think that if it wasn’t for Colm Turner I’d have been a minute slower in the race. He appeared at the perfect time just as we reached the 6k point where we turned into the head wind. He was the perfect person to run with, almost the same height so excellent wind blocking and very good at running downhills. It was perfect and we started to close in on the Rory and Chris group which had become detached from the Kinsella group of two.

9. Chris Look and Go

I think that Chris Jeuken could be a name to watch out for in running. I first met him years ago on a bike, he was an incredible cyclist, the sort of fella you are glad doesn’t run. Now he has started running so we are in trouble. I thought it would be good to beat him, so I was motivated to try. Colm helped greatly to close the gap but as we approached 8k Chris turned looked back saw we had nearly caught up and took off up the road like he wasn’t troubled at all by the pace.

10. Not Able

I think that racing is very hard. Running at a steady pace is lovely, trying to race people is completely different. When Chris took off after detecting our presence, Colm immediately left me and took off after Chris quickly bridging the gap up to Rory and taking Rory with him. It was terrible, it was almost unfair, I was tempted to shout at them to come back it was so ridiculous. I couldn’t comprehend how quickly they dropped me. I was left to run the last kilometre on my own into the wind which was very lonely. Then I saw the finish line in lovely Adare so I did a bit of a sprint for the photos pretending I was racing someone.

Eagle A.C 5 Mile 2023

10 Things I Think About The Eagle A.C 5 Mile

1. Are You Trying to Win The €250?

I think that Lizzie Lee was definitely trolling me when she asked me the night before the race if I was going for the €250 for the 25:00 course record. It is not a compliment to ask someone if they are going for something that is physically and scientifically impossible.

2. Regular

I think that the best description of John Meade that I have ever read is “Regular winner John Meade”. I really enjoy racing John Meade, particularly now that I can beat him, it is an honour to race (and beat) him, Cork running regular royalty.

3. Deliveroo

I think that I could have an idea for a business after today, a gel delivery service. Imagine an app where you could order a specific gel to be delivered to a specific point at a specific time. I think it would be wonderful. I had to deliver a Citrus High5 gel with caffeine to Lizzie on the line. I was going to kneel down and present it to her but she snapped it out of my hand and downed it before I had the chance.

4. Pat Hennessy

I think that Pat Hennessy ruined the potential showdown between myself and John Meade. At the start Pat Hennessy tore off which was just as well as it lined the field out before we had to pass through the timing gate for a reason I’m uncertain of. I jumped in behind Pat unsure as to whether it was a good idea to follow or not. The Well Done John Meades were immediate so I knew that John Meade was right on my tail.

5. Two Miles Peace

I think that the first two miles of this race are lovely. It is a very nice two miles out the back road towards Ringaskiddy, I just followed Pat Hennessy which was quite difficult and waited until eventually I could no longer hear John Meade’s purple Next%2s. This took about a mile and a half.

6. Let The Hills Begin

I think that this course would make a good cycling race. It has a lot of punchy little climbs. These climbs do not suit me at all at all and I was tremendously vulnerable to an ambush by John Meade who can fly up the short ramps. I have learned over the years not to panic and to not try and follow someone who is not as tall as me on these climbs and to catch them back up on the inevitable downhill. It’s a tricky balancing act but it’s the only way when you have long tanned legs.

7. Outside Shanbally

I think that after three miles of this race I was very happy. We had just left Shanbally and I was suffering majorly trying to hang onto the back of Pat Hennessy. Fortunately we were running downhill into the wind so I was able to keep up. I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to win but I was growing less and less fearful of a John Meade counter insurgency on my second place.

8. Eurosport

I think that Pat Hennessy is a clinical racer. I was very impressed at how he destroyed me on the hill once we turned off the main road out of Shanbally, it was like something you’d see on Eurosport live from Belgium on a Tuesday afternoon in April. He kicked away off up the hill and there was nothing I could do except focus on not letting the gap get too big.

9. Victory in Defeat

I think that the last mile of this race was just flat enough to allow me to fend off John Meade. Pat Hennessy was well gone so at every junction I turned my attention to I counting the time between my passing and the inevitable “Well Done John”. It was at least 20s, he’d have 10s in the finish on me but not 20. The finish took along time to come but it arrived eventually. I was so happy I threw myself on the ground in a heap like I normally do.

10. Hurried Photo

I think that course records are a great idea. For some reason time is very appealing to people especially round numbers. No one really seemed interested in my ferocious battle with John Meade they were only interested in Lizzie and the clock. “Can we take the photo of the top 3 quickly before Lizzie arrives?”. There was plenty time, nearly two minutes. My gel worked.

All Ireland Masters XC 2023

10 Things I Think About The National Masters XC

1. More XC

I think that it is a terrible shame that the cross-country season ends in February. There is room for at least another three or four cross country races. I don’t know why the intermediate and masters couldn’t be separated out, I would have run both. I wonder would there have been anything to stop you doing both on the same day. 15k cross country would make good marathon training.

2. Kilkenny

I think that this was the first race that I have run in Kilkenny. I have entered the streets of Kilkenny about three or four times but baulked at driving to Kilkenny on a Thursday night every time. It is a lovely place, very flat with very nice grass. The race wasn’t actually on in Kilkenny but in Gowran which has a unique combination of a golf course, horse racing track and cross country track all in one.

3. Don’t Forget Your Dragonflys

I think that you might as well not turn up to a cross country race when the ground is dry if you don’t have dragonflys. Michael Herlihy is a recent convert, he was so astonished by how good they were after a session at the farm last week that he hasn’t stopped talking about them all week. John Meade hadn’t a hope as he was wearing spikes from at least 2001.

4. Pink Pants

I think that it is terrible that as a man you can’t wear tracksuit pants that are any other colour than grey, black or navy. Mark Walsh was horrified by my pink Adidas tracksuit pants which I think are lovely. I wore them on the warmup to annoy him. For the warmup we weren’t allowed on the course by a “where do ye think ye are going” man so we went into to a bumpy field before finding that you could hop a fence and get onto the course which was also bumpy but recently rolled.

5. Fast Old Men

I think that it is incredible how fast the start of the race was. Last year the old man race went out very slow, it was very polite and almost pleasant. This race was very different. It was a mad dash to the first corner, I was miles back but not too worried as the course was nice and wide with plenty of space to pass people like John Meade who had gone off too fast.

6. Sensible Conor

I think that following Conor McCauley in a race is the most sensible plan of action. Conor is the most excellent pacer. You simply could not go wrong following Conor, well maybe if you were able to follow Tim O’Donoghue that would be better. Once the madness of the first few 100m was over I looked around and found Conor in the pack and followed him for the first nice flat loop. It took the first small lap and most of the second big lap to move up into the top 20.

7. And Now to Pass John Meade

I think that I did some excellent overtaking in this race. One of my favourite overtaking maneuvers was on John Meade. It was so fast that he probably didn’t even notice the blur of Leevale singlets sweeping past. After about a lap and a half I realized that I hadn’t actually hit anyone while passing them as Conor is very polite and doesn’t do anything like that. So when I saw David Power up ahead at the left hand turn as you returned to the start I took my opportunity to give someone a gentle right shoulder providing the perfect amount of momentum and adrenaline to get through another lap.

8. Course

I think that the course was very similar to the one in Donegal. It was very fast, excellent for dragonflys. The turns were either fast sweeping turns or ninety degree turns through gaps. There was also no mud. It was very like a road race on grass. The only complicating factor were the many little holes in the second field, sort of like hoof prints. Fortunately they were no problem to someone with huge feet like me but the smaller footed runners were complaining about getting their feet stuck in them

9. Tony O’Brien

I think that Tony O’Brien must know what is going to happen in these races. Before the start he came over to me and said if you are lapping me halfway around the last 2km lap you’ll be running a good race. As we came onto the last lap I was in about 8th trying to hang onto the back of Brian Conroy. As we entered the big field for the last time we passed Tony going up the hill so I knew that I was having a good race. A good race being defined by beating Michael Herlihy, Viv and John Meade in the same race.

10. Catch Conroy

I think that I need to get better at finishing races. I have no kick at all. As we came down the hill for the last time I thought I had a chance of catching Brian Conroy but he took off after Conor taking a Rathfarnham fella with him. I wasn’t too worried as I knew I was having a good race so I kind of relaxed until I heard Mark Walsh and Noel Murphy flying behind me. Unfortunately, I got to the line before them so there are no excellent photos like in Dungarvan. John Shine was in shortly after Mark so we won the team with possibly the youngest looking masters team in history.

Dungarvan 10 2023

10 Things I Think About The Dungarvan 10 2023

1. Guidelines

I think that you know you are doing too many races when your mother starts worrying about you. “Are you sure you are within the guidelines for running?” She’s right there are no guidelines for my nonsense and if there were I’d be well outside them. My rule is no niggles then drive on, sure what could possibly go wrong if you’ve no niggles.

2. Perfect for Dungarvan

I think that the weather for Dungarvan was amazing, it wasn’t as perfect as Seville but for Dungarvan in February it was perfect. It was cold but tolerable with an aimless wind that neither aided nor impeded running at my modest pace. There was no rain and no clouds.

3. Kieran McKeown

I think that everyone should meet Kieran McKeown at the start line of a race. He is a very nice man. He told me that I looked very lean and that I didn’t need to lose a stone. He was very complimentary about my shoulders which have almost disappeared. I think it might have been the black arm warmers but I felt very confident after meeting him. Then I met Viv and Alan who congratulated me on my great PB by me in Seville. I almost felt good at running.

4. Next%

I think it is obvious that people prefer the original Next% to the Next%2. If you look on the start line of most races you will see a lot of the original Green and Pink ones which are almost four years old, this is because they are the fastest ones before World Athletics told Nike to cop on. Thankfully I have a source of new Green and Pink Next%s which I will not be divulging.

5. Course Record

I think that William Maunsell might actually have broken the course record if the guy in the van with the megaphone had not spent the first 4 miles of the race talking about the course record. It didn’t help that because of the cold still air the megaphone was extra powerful. If I was William Maunsell I’d have backed off the van and gone back to the group just not to have to listen to “he’s going for the course record” and it 400m into a 10 mile race.

6. David McCarthy

I think that when I was running along with David McCarthy for the first mile or two of the race it must have looked like a thoroughbred racehorse running along with a hairy donkey. It didn’t last long as Conor McCauley has no respect for either donkeys or thoroughbreds and tore by on the way down to the third mile marker at GSK taking the thoroughbred with him and leaving the donkey behind.

7. Noel Murphy

I think that Noel Murphy was the perfect person to run the race with. He didn’t annoy me in any way, I could have run a marathon with him no problem. I’m unsure if Noel Murphy thought that I was the perfect person to run the race with. I thought we ran well together taking turns into the aimless wind but after the race Noel said that I was a terrible man for surging. One man’s taking turns is another man’s surging I suppose. Michael Herlihy also thinks I surge.

8. Gels

I think that you don’t need a gel in a 10 mile road race but it is no harm to have one with you. I remember Fabian Cancellara taking a gel 5km from the end of The Tour of Flanders and winning so perhaps it has a placebo effect. I took my gel from up my sleeve just after 7 miles. We had just been passed by Neil Wiktorski who went by like he was fuelled by many gels. I didn’t actually take the gel just swished it around in my mouth and spat it out. It seemed to help.

9. Vivophobia

I think that I have a terrible fear of Viv. He is a terrifying prospect in a race. John Meade isn’t as bad because if he does pass you it looks like he is trying. Viv sort of glides up to your back like a well trained Russian spy before effortlessly and incredibly annoyingly gliding away. Thankfully because of my work/surging with Noel I had put a massive colossal insurmountable distance into both Viv and John Meade that could not be closed no matter how much hatred they were fuelled by.

10. The Sprint for 8th

I think that I would have been a lot happier if this had been a nine mile road race. At nine miles I was in 6th, 6th in the Dungarvan 10 would be amazing, I’d almost be happy with it as I’d nearly have won and have been close enough to worry Conor McCauley. Unfortunately myself and Noel got destroyed by a Tipperary and Waterford duo on the last hill leaving us to sprint for 8th. It was a fabulous sprint, extremely fast, possibly the best sprint of the day with €10 at stake, we crossed the line in the same time but because Noel is from Waterford and no one likes me I was 9th. John Meade and Viv were after 9th.

Seville Half Marathon 2023

10 Things I Think About The Seville Half Marathon 2023

1. Over Racing

I think that it is very important to keep racing, don’t mind people who warn about over racing. You never know when everything will align. The more often you race the more likely it is that one day you won’t have been sick or injured for a few weeks, the weather will be perfect, your stomach will be perfect, and your legs will feel good.

2. Chancing Your Arm

I think that it is always worth sending an email to see if there are any elite entries. Even if the word elite is being stretched to breaking point when applied to my name there’s always a chance that they might just want to fill the places. I got lucky for Seville, my email was successful which was just as well as the race was sold out back in December.

3. Coldio y Scorchio

I think that it was amazing how cold it was in Seville on Sunday. I left the apartment at 8am for a mile of a jog to allow the coffee to do its work. Two things struck me when I walked out the door, it was still dark and it was icy cold, possibly freezing. Wonderful, the darkness went away after a mile but the icy cold remained.

4. Elites in a Pod

I think that when you come to a race in Seville you don’t expect to find all of the elites hiding in a heated tent before the start of the race. I didn’t find it particularly cold as I have significantly more insulation than the typical elite so I pretty much had the starting area to myself to do a few strides and jog up and down enjoying the sunshine. Just before the start a reluctant bunch emerged from the cosy heated tents into the freezing cold Spanish sunshine, in the middle of them was Zak Hanna, so I chatted to him about how cold it was, because everyone was frozen there was little or no fuss and we were on our way without delay.

5. Sevilla on Ice

I think that no one would believe you if you said that you nearly slipped on a patch of ice in Seville. For the first mile or two I decided to be somewhat sensible and try and follow the elite women who I knew were going for around 68 or 69 minutes. It’s dangerous to follow the Spanish men as they all go way too fast for the first few miles. After about 2 miles of straight flat beautiful road we turned left to go across the river into Triana. Then I felt my green original Next% slipping in that horrible scary way that makes me go home after a mile in Cork. Thankfully it was only a short little patch of ice and we were soon back on dry tarmac.

6. Worry

I think that I will have to stop looking at the watch in races after 5k. When we got to the 5k mark I was delighted to see that they didn’t have clocks at the splits so that I wouldn’t be tormented every 5k for the next 20k. I looked at the watch and saw 16:20 and thought that’s a bit fast. I got worried so I decided that like any man who is worried about something the best policy is to ignore it and carry on until it becomes impossible to ignore.

7. Grupo

I think that the best thing about a race abroad is that you don’t know any of the other people in the race, well you might kind of know them to see them if you do enough races in Seville but you kind of associate them with holidays so its ok. After the 5k of worry I got into a lovely little group with a bunch of presumably Spanish runners who I had never seen before. We ran along together with no surging and no contempt for one another, it was wonderful.

8. This is Hard

I think there is always a point in a race where you can find a reason to stop trying. In this race it happened around 12k. As we went under the underpass which contains the only hill in the race I got dropped from my lovely group, not because the Spaniards tried to get rid of me but because I couldn’t keep up. The next 2k were into the wind solo which was terrible, I tried to take a gel which is not as easy at half marathon pace as it is at marathon pace so most of the maurten gel ended up on my leg. I kept going as best I could until I heard the unmistakable sound of a herd of Metaspeed Skys and Alphaflys clapping up behind me so I merged happily into a new group and continued on.

9. Narrow Streets

I think that the last 4k of this race were perfect. When we turned right off the ring road around the old part of Seville my group was naturally lined out as the road got quite narrow and quite cobbled. We ran past the Setas and turned left down a pedestrianized street with the odd person out doing their shopping. There’s something about chasing people through narrow streets with people out doing their shopping that makes running easier.

10. A Stones Throw

I think that a sub 70 half marathon is pretty much the same thing as a sub 2:30 marathon. They both do exactly the same thing, serve as a great way for me to torment Michael Herlihy. Even though I hadn’t looked at the watch since the first 5k marker, as we ran around the Plaza de España I knew I was within a stones throw of the sub 70 because I could see the lead women up ahead. When I turned left into the finishing straight, I saw the clock was just after ticking over from 1:08 to 1:09, then a Spaniard overtook me on the inside so I focused on trying to out sprint him instead which I didn’t but I did successfully, officially on chip, net, gross, app, watch, Strava, Garmin and every time possible torment Michael Herlihy.

Cinque Mulini XC 2023

10 Things I Think About The Cinque Mulini

1. Twitter

I think that anyone who has seen the videos of Cinque Mulini couldn’t but want to do this race. It’s that race that you probably saw on Twitter of people running through what looks like someone’s living room. I saw it last year and thought that looks amazing, I must do that, then I forgot about it until I met Trevor Cummins last Sunday at the BHAA XC which was also very good.

2. Trevor Cummins

I think that I should thank Trevor Cummins for reminding me about this race. At the time of the BHAA cross country race last Sunday I had no plans on going to Italy. I was probably going to go to exotic Caherconlish for a 10k on the road. Then Trevor mentioned that he’d love to go to the Cinque Mulini cross country race outside Milan. Just to check the logistics I looked up the flights and saw that there was a €16 flight from Cork to Milan on Saturday evening with a €30 flight back to Dublin Monday morning. Cheaper than a drive to Dublin so I booked the flights and entered the race, sure you only live once and all that. Gruff and John Meade said they’d go too which was great. Trevor said he’d wait for 2024.

3. Well Done John Meade

I think that it was interesting that the races with the highest numbers were the masters races. There were at least 300 or 500 masters athletes, so many that they had to have a separate over M50 race for all the Fr Romeo Sensini lookalikes. John Meade and Gruff went in the M35/M40/M45 race as anyone over 40 wasn’t allowed to run with the big boys like me. After an eventful start where he had to hurdle a faller at the start John Meade worked his way through to 3rd on the M40 podium which has probably cost him a fortune in roaming charges replying to all the Well Done Johns on Facebook while in Italy.

4. Spikes

I think that it was great having Gruff run the race before I had to run. What spikes or shoes to wear was a bit of a conundrum. Sean and Ian from Galway had been at the course the day before and said that it was a mixture of everything and that there was no perfect spike. Meade’s shoe choice was irrelevant to me as he wears extremely old spikes and wouldn’t worry or complain about shoes anyway for fear damaging his reputation. Gruff on the other hand wore Dragonflys with 9mm spikes which seemed to work really well judging by the excellence of Gruff’s performance so I took Gruff’s extra box of 9mm and installed them in my Dragonflys.

5. No Cross Country for Old Men

I think that it is interesting that there were only two M35 athletes in the main race. In Ireland if you ran a senior cross-country race and basically banned anyone over 35 and definitely over 40 you would have no race. In Italy there were plenty of young fellas to bulk up the field although a lot of them looked less Italian and much older than I do.

6. Partenza

I think that the start wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it would be. There were a few Kenyan’s, Crippa the hometown favourite plus a few other good guys who I’d never heard of but who looked like they run a slick Instagram account. I’d have been more afraid if it was a road race but in a cross country race you can only go so fast so it’s never that terrifying. When the gun went off I held back a little hoping to avoid any fallers like had happened in the old man race. There were no fallers and I wasn’t last, so it was a good start but I was probably a bit too far back.

7. Jumping Ditches

I think that this is definitely the best cross country course in the world. It is amazing, astonishing, better than the Twitter video would have you hope it would be. In a normal race after three 2k laps you just want the race to be over, on this course you get upset after three laps that it is nearly over. There is a little bit of everything, rocks, carpeted concrete, 45 degree uphill and downhill ramps, farm yards, lovely grass straights, ditches, stairs and houses to run through. The ditches were a new one on me, there were three or four of them in a section of about 200m, each ditch was about the same length as my stride so it didn’t really require jumping but it did requiring timing which I’m not great at. Ditches should be mandatory in all cross-country races.

8. Around The Houses

I think that the section through the house is as good as it looks on that video on Twitter. It is a wonderful section, a unique experience in running. To get to the house you have to run up a steep ramp then along a rocky narrow path before swinging right into a farm yard which has been carpeted to protect the Dragonflys. Then you turn left and in through a narrow door that I had to duck under to be sure of getting through. As you approach the door you hear the sound of the faster runners clink clanking up the steps in the house. I loved it but I am far larger than most Italian farmers so I lost lots of ground every time through the house, it was definitely more suited to the nimble footed runner like John Meade.

9. A Feast for the Senses

I think that the sound and smell of the race was wonderful. It is worth going to Italy for a race just to listen to the commentary and the crowds. There was quite a crowd around for the race and all the children stayed around to watch the race after they had run. The children were out high fiving shouting vai, vai, vai and there was noise most of the way around. The sound of spikes on gravel and spikes on wooden stairs is a wonderful sound, add it to the smell of cow dung from the farm yard and you have the perfect mix.

10. Success

I think that when you run in a race like this the most important thing is not to get lapped. I kept up a decent enough pace following a few Italians of similar average to moderately acceptable ability, Crippa and the Kenyans were really motoring so there was a risk that I’d get lapped which would have been terrible and broadcast live on TV for Michael Herlihy to laugh at. Once I made it onto the final lap without seeing Crippa and the Kenyans I was relieved and free to enjoy the last spin through the houses free from worry. I had a great sprint finish for 39th place with an Italian in a yellow singlet which I lost badly. When I got my phone back from Gruff, I saw that I had finished second of two in the M35 category so I went back in to the finish expecting my podium, unfortunately there was no M35 podium so I walked sadly and slowly back to Gruff and John Meade. Ah well it was still great fun.

Cork BHAA XC 2023

10 Things I Think About The Cork BHAA XC 2023

1. Beaumont Park

I think I had fond memories of Beaumont Park because of my early days of running with Togher A.C. We used to do laps of the park for cross country training back in about 2010, I remember it being wonderful and terribly hard so I thought a cross country race there would be excellent.

2. Christmas Madness

I think that you don’t have a problem if you know you have a problem. Christmas time has too much time off and too many races. I get horribly bored of the session, session, long run routine, I had enough of that to last me a lifetime during the lockdowns, it’s nice to mix it up and not worry about training at this time of year. That’s my self-justification for doing every possible race over Christmas anyway.

3. Spikes

I think that this was an unusual course for footwear choice. I forgot that when we did laps of Beaumont in 2010 we used the footpath for the section along by the wall and never went between the trees, we used never wear spikes. Parts of the BHAA course were more suited to trail running shoes, the grass sections needed 12mm spikes and the tarmac paths needed Vaporflys. Perhaps a pair of Inov-8s with 8mm lugs would have been best. Dragonflys with 6mm spikes were definitely a bad choice.

4. Damp Cold Dark Rain

I think that there was a special type of cold for the morning of the race. It was damp cold, horribly windy with a dark black sky, not weather for a singlet but too warm not to wear a singlet. I thought that the ground might not be that bad given that I only had memories of Beaumont as a nice place with firm ground. I was very wrong, it was a horrible surface with a thin layer of slippery muck on top of hard ground.

5. Left of John

I think that this was the first race I have run where a man in a high viz jacket has been used as a part of the course. On the start line we were told that they had changed the course to allow for the people who were wearing spikes. Part of the change was that we had to keep left of John at the top of the hill by the pylon. John did an excellent job, and everyone was sent the right way which was left around him,

6. Traffic Jam

I think that this race was more like a single track trail race than a cross country race. Normally in a cross country race passing people is not an issue, once we got around John and went back down the hill we were onto the single track trail through the trees. I went off handy enough so I ended up in about 10th, I could see that Barry Twohig had gone off hard but I thought that I’d be able to catch up after a few minutes. Then we started the single track and I realized it wasn’t going to be that way and that Barry was probably gone for good.

7. Trevor

I think that it felt like more like a Formula 1 race with Trevor Cummins than a cross country race. On the first lap I couldn’t get near Trevor but as we went through the single track for the second time I was able to close the gap enough to attempt an overtake. There really wasn’t any way to overtake as it was a single track through the trees with deadly rocks and deadly tree roots either side so I had to wait before dancing nimbly by on a brief opening in the trees. I made sure not to leave any gaps at the next few corners so that he couldn’t come back at me. It was great driving by me.

8. The Slippery Hill

I think that the hill in this race is what makes the race wonderful. It is a magnificent little hill, I remember running up it in my Togher days in normal shoes thinking what a great training hill that was. On Sunday it was a different proposition, the surface of the hill was a thin layer of slippery mud, what made it worse was that you have to turn as you are climbing so if you don’t get traction with your spikes you just go sideways. On the first lap Barry Twohig powered up the hill like a Dutch cyclocross rider and that was the last we saw of him, it was an impressive sight. I couldn’t get up it at all, my spikes and long tanned legs were useless, I was like a large calf trying to stand up on extra slippery ice, I even had to use a lapped runner for leverage on one of the ascents.

9. Final Sprint

I think that the finishing straight of this race is particularly excellent. By the last of the three laps I had worked my way up into third by passing a Carraig na bhFear athlete on the flat section after the slippery hill. I was still worried that he would get me as I was having severe difficulty with the downhill left hand turn by the pylon, I missed the corner completely on the second lap and had to go right around the pylon so had to take it handy on the last lap. Rounding into the home straight I could sense that there was someone close behind, I sprinted as hard as I could and made good progress towards the finish line, unfortunately what I thought was the finish line was just a man standing in the middle of the field. Just before I was caught the lads on the actual line shouted at me and I nipped in just ahead of the green and white singlet in third.

10. Wine, Chocolates and Chip Timing

I think that if I had known that the prizes for first second and third were almost the same, I might not have taken as many risks at the slippery corners. At the prize giving the main prize that we received was being the first people to hear that the BHAA have bought a chip timing system which is great news. Even though I finished third I got the second prize as Naoise wasn’t registered. First prize was a tin of USA biscuits, Cadbury’s Heroes, and a 2021 vintage Santa Rita Cabernet Sauvignon (3.5/5.0 on Vivino), second prize was Cadbury’s Heroes and the same wine. Excellent prizes so long as you weren’t a tee-total vegan runner.

Photo: Cork Athletics

Marathon Del Pavo 2023

10 Things I Think About The Marathon Del Pavo Espera 2023

1. Kings Day

I think that the Spanish do Christmas properly. It goes right up to the sixth of January. The night before they have a big parade where all the roads are closed and the streets are covered in sweets. Then on the sixth they have a race called the Marathon Del Pavo in Espera an hour from Seville.

2. Espera

I think that Espera would be a good place to retire to when you become a grumpy old man. You could buy a nice white walled house, look at the sun, eat oranges and wander from bar to bar drinking the tiny little pints all day long. It is a very nice beautiful peaceful place up on the top of a hill.

3. Ballycotton

I think that if you miss the way road races used to be in Ireland in about 2008 you should go and do races in Andalusia. This race was like a Ballycotton 5 mile race, in the middle of nowhere in a beautiful town which could only be accessed via character building roads. The entry was €7 with a local Spanish John Walshe running around organizing everything perfectly.

4. Foreign Invaders

I think that it is always a little daunting going to races in places in rural Spain. You’d always be a little worried that they might not like Irish people and run you from the village. I was more worried than normal about this race because there was €400 for first. Fortunately Andalusia is a very friendly place and no one seemed to mind that we had turned up. We parked outside a bar, ordered some pre race coffee in order to use the facilities and jogged up the hill to the town and retrieved the dorsals which was all very efficient.

5. Onomatopoeia

I think that every race in the world would be improved by hiring Pepe Yepes. I have never seen a guy with the mic who has so much energy. He was completely mad but wonderful. He never stopped, from the start to the finish hopping up and down with excellent music blaring, wonderful wonderful stuff.

6. All Over Espera

I think that the meeting where they decided the route for this race would have been interesting. The race started out up a hill, after that I don’t know where we went, left, right, uphill, downhill, it was like the route you’d take if you were trying to run away from someone who was chasing you. As per usual in a race in Spain the race went off at a ludicrous pace, I held back in about 6th thinking there is no way they can maintain this, I was very wrong, the four in front were gone never to be seen again, €400 obviously brings out a few of the local Ryan Creechs.

7. The Red Road

I think that my favourite part of this race was the 4km section of the race on the red dirt road outside the town. By the time we hit the red dirt road I was in 5th miles behind fourth and just ahead of 6th. The weather was incredible, like the nicest summer day in Cork, nearly 20 degrees. I didn’t take the water on the way out to the amazement of the locals. “Murte” the guy shouted at me. I took it on the way back just in case he had some local knowledge about the course that I didn’t know.

8. Venga Venga

I think that it is great the way that the locals come out to support road races in these small Spanish towns. The last mile of the race ran back up through the village which was lined on either side by crowds of cheering locals, venga venga, vamos. I had no one to chase and no one behind so I could just enjoy it as it wasn’t really a course where time was something people worried about.

9. Caliente / Calor

I think that I will have to learn Spanish. I am a disgrace, I have nothing, a few words, a few of them French. When I reached the finish line back where the race started Pepe Yepes was there hopping about doling out high fives. He was delighted to see an Irishman in fifth so he interviewed me. I tried to say that it was very hot, “muy caliente” I thought having successfully ordered hot water for a cup of Barry’s tea the day before using the same word, “calor” he corrected me before returning to hopping and jumping about the 6th and 7th place finishers.

10. Two Podiums

I think that it is a better idea to do a race on a day when you don’t have to make a flight in the evening. I would have loved to have stayed around for the full podium experience, the locals were very, very friendly offering us food and places to shower but we had a flight to catch so we went back to the bar near the car for coffee before leaving. Before we left I said I’d run back up to get a photo of the results. When I got there they had just started the podium. Pepe Yepes was somehow still in full flow. He shouted out my name as winner of the Senior B category so up I hopped on the podium for my trophy, followed immediately by my first time on a women’s podium for Rhona’s trophy.

Grange Fermoy 10k

10 Things I Think About The Grange Fermoy 10k

1. 2022

I think that it was good to finish 2022 with a race. It would have been nicer if the race had of been in Spain but Fermoy was a good replacement. 2022 was a very good year as I ran as many races as I wanted to and I achieved my lifetime goal of being significantly just faster than Michael Herlihy in the marathon.

2. Additional Mileage

I think that it was great to have an excuse not to run extra mileage at the actual race. I will never complain about the chance of doing additional mileage. We were told to park in Fermoy which is a mile and a half from the start in Grange. The perfect way to guarantee an additional three miles for the day which is very important when you are trying to make up miles for the year.

3. Ginger Chilli Rice

I think that the main issue with running races around Christmas time is that you have to eat unusual food for social reasons. I know what to eat not to have trouble in a race, I now know that Ginger Chilli Rice at 10pm the night before a race is a very bad idea.

4. Farmers Gate

I think that Vaporflys are not good for climbing gates three minutes before the start of a race when you have had Ginger Chilli Rice the night before. Thankfully as I was halfway up the gate, I saw that the gate was tied with one of those easy to release knots that my grandfather taught me how to do. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember how to do the knot so I just did a shoelace knot on the way out. I hope it was ok, I should nearly go back and check.

5. Alphaflys

I think that a lot of people got Alphaflys for Christmas. Ryan and Mark Walsh were the main culprits. They really are awful looking shoes, you can tell someone is wearing them without actually looking at the shoes because you can see the self-consciousness and awkwardness. Everyone else like me was wearing Vaporflys which aren’t as bad.

6. Uphill/Downhill

I think that the start of this race is excellent. Starting uphill before going downhill makes it nice and calm as no one wants to sprint off uphill at the start. Then you can get going on the downhill when the field is nice and spread-out. Ryan and Sergiu were well gone even by the time we got to the top of the short hill leaving Pat Hennessy, myself, and Mark Walsh in the battle for the money for third.

7. Battle for Money

I think that the battle for the money didn’t last long enough. Once we turned left in Grange and ran out the road to nowhere in particular, I thought that there was a chance that I might get third. For about 2k it was myself, Pat and Mark, then all of a sudden Pat picked up the pace like he had remembered that he could run faster and disappeared away up the road taking the last of the prize money with him.

8. The Battle for Fourth

I think that the best thing that can happen in a race like this when the money is gone is that you find a nice group of runners of a similar ability level to run the whole race with. Once Pat had departed, I was left with Mark Walsh, his alphaflys and a fella from Port Laoise who I presumed was Tom Lupton. We were perfectly matched and spent until 9k rolling along up and down the beautiful small hills at a horrible but pleasant pace. I loved the course, reasonably quick and never boring.

9. Mark and his Alphaflys

I think that it was interesting to watch Mark Walsh run in the Alphaflys. Once we reached the final kilometre, I thought I had a chance of my usual fourth place finish as I felt good. I have been in a few last mile battles with Mark and normally he destroys me. When I saw the nine-kilometre marker I moved right to start my slightly faster sprint good and early. Mark was having none of this, normally you would see some sort of obvious effort but in the Alphaflys he just glided off up the road in that efficient smooth Kipchoge like form that the Alphaflys make everyone run in. To make it worse the fella from PortLaoise who wasn’t Tom Lupton went by and followed Mark up the road leaving me in sixth.

10. Turn Right for the Portaloo

I think that I was very lucky that this was a 10k and not a 10 mile. Once I realized that Mark and the fella who wasn’t Tom Lupton were gone my attention turned to the Ginger Chilli Rice. My primary motivation for reaching the finish line as quickly as possible was the portaloo that was just after the finish. It’s a bit of an anticlimax to finish a race in a portaloo but at least I finished. I warmed down back to the car in Fermoy with the intention of returning to the hall for coffee but I had enough miles done for the year so I went home.

Togher A.C 5K 2022

1. Definition of Insanity

I think that doing two races in two days isn’t as “crazy/mad/idiotic” as it used to be, magic shoes have almost made it sensible. Despite the magic shoes it is still utterly pointless as nothing will be achieved in the second race other than hopefully getting through it in one piece.

2. Suboptimal Conditions

I think that as cold and horrible it was in Clonmel, Togher was level 9 winter misery. It was almost dark, incredibly grey, cold and wet even though it didn’t appear to be obviously raining. These Christmas races are incredibly unlucky with the weather as if they were on at any other time of the year they would be the best races of the year.

3. Risk Assessment

I think that the warm up for a race when you have done a race the day before is very important. It’s not really a warm up more of risk assessment on niggles that could potentially turn into injuries. On the jog up to the remarkable efficient number collection at the community centre I felt surprisingly normal, just the usual pains and aches of a 36 year old man. Mostly the pains reside in my right knee and old stress fracture sites, especially when it’s cold. There were no new pains which meant the risk of running the race was low-medium which is like a greeny-amber colour which means drive on.

4. Shimozzle

I think that the start of this race was great fun. It started outside the SuperValu just up from the Lough, I hadn’t really looked at the course map so it was all new to me. There was an interesting ninety degree right turn a few hundred metres after the start. The problem/great thing with a turn so close to the start is that everyone wants to get to the corner first. I was never at risk but there were a few fast starting juvenile North Cork athletes that could have been in danger. Owing to my agility and nimbleness I avoided any trouble before receiving an Anne Marie McGlynn style elbow from Aoife Cooke which was entirely unnecessary.

5. Cautious Conor

I think that it was a good idea to follow Conor for the first mile of the race. He is a very sensible man, possibly the most sensible man in the race. A lot of people went off very, very, very fast which from my experience will take about 12 years to learn is a bad idea. After about 500m I followed Conor as we overtook 4 or 5 fast starters before settling into our likely finishing positions plus or minus a few.

6. Excellent Corners

I think that the corners make this race great. It is a fabulous route. Very imaginative, sort of like a Raheny 5 just with the correct distance and 5k instead of 5 miles. Even the grey concrete looks the same as in Dublin. I love all the right angle turns they are perfect for running, nothing too tight and never too close together. They definitely make the race go by quicker.

7. Nutrition vs Pharmacy

I think that it was good to race some new people today. After about 3k, Conor’s sensible pace became foolish to me so I dropped back. I feared that I was about to be swallowed by a huge pack of runners but only Ben came flying by in a UCC singlet. I tried to beat him because he is also a podcast superstar like me but it quickly became clear that he was far better than me.

8. The Forgotten Fourth Kilometre

I think that the fourth kilometer of a 5k is the most important, I have no memory of what happened in the 4th kilometer other than it was very wet and very grey and Ben and Conor started to get further away. I think that if I had concentrated properly during the 4th kilometer I might have gotten under the magic 16 minute barrier which is all that really matters when you are running a 5k.

9. Kieran McKeowns

I think that there must have been about seven Kieran McKeowns on the course today. He seemed to be everywhere, perhaps there are just lots of people who look like Kieran McKeown in Togher, he was definitely at six of the twelve corners. With about 800m to go he made his final appearance to tell me that Aoife and her gang were 50m back. This made me very worried as I could hear footsteps. Then I heard “Well Done Brian”, who’s Brian I thought, I don’t normally race Brians, then I remembered who Brian is.

10. Kerryman

I think that I did very well to hold off Brian Murphy over the last few 100m, he must be very disappointed as I’m absolutely terrible in the last few 100m of a 5k and normally anyone in sight of me beats me. I will take it as a victory over Michael Herlihy too as Brian beat him in the cross country so that’s positive. It was great fun and I didn’t get injured. Don’t worry the injury will probably happen soon.

Clonmel A.C 4 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Clonmel A.C 4 Mile 2022

1. Where it All Started

I think that this race in 2015 was the reason I started going to Spain after Christmas. It has taken me 7 years to recover from how cold and wet it was that day. You could see the cold in the photos that’s how bad it was.

2. ParkRun + Goal Mile

I think that Christmas Day is a lot better when you can leave the house to go running. I spent Christmas morning pushing Billy around the Glen like a maniac (according to Tobi) with a Santa hat on followed by a goal mile at CIT where I got destroyed on the last lap by two young fellas. It was a very good morning.

3. Fake Sun

I think that there is something terrible about the sun in Ireland in December. It is horrible, it blinds you but provides no heat and no benefit other than permitting sunglasses to be worn in a race. I hadn’t worn my excellent orange sunglasses in ages.

4. Blueway

I think that I might have to go back to Clonmel for a normal run. It looks like a great place to train, a lovely path along the river that the signposts say goes all the way to Carrick on Suir with Font Romeuesque mountain trails looking down the town. No wonder there are so many good runners from Clonmel.

5. Green Light Indicates Satellites are Secured

I think that I will have to get a new watch or just stop wearing it in races. I thought the days of not being able to find satellites ended with the old Garmin 305 square watch. At the start my relatively new Garmin Forerunner 945 couldn’t find the Clonmel satellites. It didn’t look like it was going to find them in time for the start so I prepared myself for the worst and accepted that this race wouldn’t end up on Strava. Then just as the race started the watch went green indicating satellites have been secured so I pressed start and started running, then the screen went blank. I spent the first 400m of the race looking at the watch pressing buttons until the screen came back to life after pressing the lap button. I should have just dropped out.

6. Third Group

I think that I was lucky I didn’t fall while troubleshooting the watch issues. It’s amazing how far and fast you can run while not actually looking where you are going. Its a skill that I have probably developed from walking around town scrolling through Twitter. When I looked up and stopped looking at the watch after about 400m I saw that I was just off the back of the third group led by Cillian O’Leary. This was acceptable so I tried to stay with them.

7. The Bridge

I think that I did well to get to the bridge at two miles in the third group. I felt terrible, the sort of feeling that makes you question why you bothered, it is interesting how some running days are just terrible. An unusual combination of a long sleeve and a pair of orange sunglasses was probably reflective of my level of motivation, neither interested nor disinterested, neither happy nor unhappy.

8. Fast and Flat

I think that this must be one the nicest courses in Munster. It’s perfectly flat in that it’s not totally flat, it’s nicely flat, there are some nice little short bumps and a few bends to keep it interesting. The only thing that is a little annoying are all the noisy non-electric cars on the road on the way back to Clonmel. It might be nicer to come back along the Blueway after the bridge but I don’t know how that would work with the dog walkers and cyclists.

9. Wind

I think that there should be a name for the wind that we encountered once we turned left after the bridge. It was both cold and persistent, no gusts, just relentlessly resisting our attempts to return to Clonmel as quickly as possible. I thought I’d be clever and tuck in behind Cillian and his gang but with about a mile to go just as we passed David Mansfield I was eliminated from the group and left to go solo into the wind which was hopeless especially with a long sleeve t-shirt under my singlet.

10. The Final Turn

I think that Susan was right to warn about the finish being left around the corner. It is an unusual finish sort of like the race in Spain where I beat John O’Connell because he thought the finish was before it really was. Unfortunately in Clonmel I was on my own and my course knowledge was useless other than for ensuring that the time on Strava was faster than it would otherwise have been. It’s a great race, if only it was on in Spain or maybe May.

Munster Masters XC 2022

10 Things I Think About The Munster Masters XC

1. Badness

I think that you don’t have a problem when you know what you are doing is wrong. I know that I should recover properly from the marathon so that I can get even more excellent. I would love to have the patience to try and become even more excellent, but it seems like a miserable existence. I try not to think of the marathon as anything special as it is just an invented concept that your body has no knowledge of. If there is no obvious badness after the marathon sure why wouldn’t you be fine to race again. Magic shoes and limited alcohol definitely help to reduce the amount of debadification required.

2. Freezing Fog

I think that this is the first race that I have run in freezing fog. It was terrible to come back to this awful cold place after a few days in wonderful Spain where it is warm and there is no ice unless you deliberately want to have ice and go up the mountains. Freezing fog is very atmospheric to run in, if it wasn’t so cold it would be a great addition to any race.

3. Course Check

I think that Clarecastle might be my favourite venue for cross country. It is an acceptable distance from Cork and for some reason the course seems to agree with me. I have beaten many people in this field, for example Conor McCauley even though he claims not to remember the beating. Clarecastle is one of those courses that gets very mucky, I wasn’t sure what it would be like in freezing fog, it turned out that it was a lot like the course in Donegal, sort of like a soft carpet with short portions of muck, perfect for Dragonflys.

4. Dragonflys in the Field

I think that Dragonflys are the best thing that has happened to cross country. I have always been in favour of them, they are excellent shoes, probably the most comfortable spikes ever, they don’t even feel like spikes. Nike are even bringing out a XC specific Dragonfly now which will have the triangular cone shaped spikes. I tried to put my current triangular cone shaped spikes onto my track Dragonflys but they don’t fit so I had to go with regular 9 mm spikes.

5. The Old Grey Whistle/Gun Test

I think that the start of this race was very unfair. There were a lot of runners in the race because the Munster Intermediate was being run at the same time as the Munster Old Man race. The starter had both a whistle and a gun which was slightly confusing as either is an accepted starting method. He waved the whistle at us as he backed away which made me think the gun was broken and he was going to use the whistle which is normally used for giving out. Then he tried to fire the gun but it didn’t go off so we had to regroup. Then again he tried the gun but it didn’t work, then the gun worked so we were off, myself and Michael Herlihy were badly delayed as we weren’t anticipating the third successful firing of the gun.

6. Helly Hansen

I think that running with a t-shirt under your singlet is normally a sign of a lack of interest. When it is actually freezing like it was in Clarecastle a long sleeve under your singlet is essential. There should be a rule about the colour of the longsleeve, it should be colour co-odinated with the singlet otherwise the photos will look terrible on Instagram. I choose a black Helly Hansen top that I have had since 2010 when it was cold last and I had to use YakTraks to run.

7. Chesser Checks Out

I think that Rory Chesser nearly won the race on the first lap. Because of the dodgy start myself and Michael Herlihy lost about 50m on the bunch of Intermediate and Old Men at the start. I deliberately took it somewhat handy for the first kilometer as I wasn’t sure how my body would react to the race. After a kilometer which was also a lap I felt totally unbad so I picked it up a bit and dispatched Michael Herlihy and moved up into third a good bit behind Rory Chesser and a little bit behind Kenny Rodgers.

8. The Gambler

I think that Kenny Rodgers tactics for the race were very interesting. After three of the seven one kilometre laps Rory Chesser had a good gap on myself and Kenny. Listening to his breathing I didn’t think that Kenny was going to be able to bridge the gap up to Rory but slowly but surely or quickly and certainly, I can’t quite remember, I was dropped and Kenny caught Rory. I was left in third happy enough to be without sight or sound of Michael Herlihy.

9. Herlihy vs Murphy

I think that Brian Murphy did me a big favour today by distracting Michael Herlihy. Seven one-kilometre laps is a lot of laps to be worried about being caught by a resurgent terminator like Michael Herlihy. Thankfully Brian Murphy was keeping him busy so I was left alone in third to concentrate on looking excellent for the photos in the fog. The problem with a one kilometer lap and effectively two races in one was that lapped runners became an issue for the last two laps, combined with the freezing fog it must have been great fun trying to figure out who was who.

10. Confirmation

I think that no matter where I am in a race I will always be afraid that I will be confused with a lapped runner and sent off for another lap like keeps happening in the National 10k on the track. Thankfully the stewards did an excellent job counting the chaos and at the end of seven laps I was sent into the finishing chute in third behind Rory who had been overhauled by Kenny Rodgers. I had time to feel the ice that had formed in my hair before turning around to see Brian Murphy storm in just ahead of Michael Herlihy. 15 seconds was the gap, which is similar to the gap between our marathon times.

Photo: Steve O'Sullivan

Valencia Marathon 2022

10 Things I Think About The Valencia Marathon 2022

1. I Have a Dream

I think that it is very important to have goals in life. Goals provide motivation and reasons to run when it is cold, wet and windy in November and you’d rather sit in the car and pick the dirt from the grooves of the car key than go out and run 10 miles. My main goal for the last few years has been to torment Michael Herlihy by running a faster marathon than him. 2:30:25. It has been my primary motivation for at least six years.

2. Preparation

I think that I did excellent training for the marathon. The most important thing when training for a marathon is to believe that your training is the best training and that what everyone else is doing is wrong, you must have total faith and belief. My training plan involved 5k reps and lots of racing. What is far more important than any training is picking a nice flat marathon in a nice cold calm place like Valencia in December.

3. Billy’s Race

I think that more races should have races for two-year-olds before the main event like what they do in Valencia. Billy’s Mini Maratón took place on a road parallel to the finish of the marathon on a 300m loop. The baby race had more loud music than the actual marathon and had an equally chaotic start. Billy was almost disqualified on the starting line for removing his race number and flinging it on the ground in protest at the dilly dallying, luckily the steward realized that it was pointless trying to pin it back on, so we were allowed run with me holding his number. A 300m race is a long way for a two-year-old, he started well, got to the halfway cone comfortably, had a bit of a stutter near the finish line but finished strongly in about 14th. A good debut.

4. Boxes

I think that it was great that the organizers put the runners into boxes just like I do. The start was arranged into boxes based on previous marathon times. The boxes were quite large, possibly based on the opinion of a Spanish Michael Herlihy type figure. There was Box 1 which had proper runners under 2:20. Then I was in Box 2 which was everyone who had run under 2:50 previously. The boxes were very easy to access, easier than Berlin and Seville. I was staying on the street the marathon started on, so I went from the apartment to my box in 3 minutes, ideal, perfect.

5. Penguins

I think that there were too many good runners in this marathon. Because I was staying so close to the start I was late getting to the start. When I got to my box 15 minutes before the start it was very full of people who could run under 2:50 for the marathon. I didn’t bother pushing up into the box because I assumed it would go out fast it being box 2. It didn’t, when the race went off after less fussing and music than there was in Billy’s race there were just too many runners for the width of the road. After 3k it was like being in a pack of penguins waddling along. You could feel the heat of the pack of runners, it was horrible and there was nothing I could do except try not to get stressed. I was very patient until 3k, then I started slaloming and elbowing like it was a cross country race. Once I got to 10k it was nice, still people everywhere but moving nicely according to my watch.

6. One Faced Liar

I think that I might run the next marathon off the km split signs. The GPS just doesn’t work. No wonder everyone was running PBs in those virtual races during lockdown, it’s minutes off. My watch was telling me I was great all race, miles under tormenting Michael Herlihy (TMH) pace. It was only when I got to the halfway mark that I realized that I was only barely under TMH pace. 1:14:58, not much time in the bank.

7. Entourage

I think that it is a good idea to bring someone with you to these marathons to hand out bottles. We were very professional and even rehearsed the bottle handoffs at the 16k, 25k and 30k points on the course the day before, this was mainly because we were terrified that we would mess up Tim O'Donoghue’s race by not getting him his bottles. The bottle handoffs were executed perfectly by Tim and Rhona. I also had one gel up my sleeve in my decathlon arm warmers and two gels in my shorts so six overall which is a lot. I have always believed in the importance of gels and water.

8. YouTubers and Irish People

I think that every youtuber in the world must have been running in Valencia. They were all over the place, it was a good way to pass the race trying to spot them. I ended up chatting to a less well-known YouTube shoe reviewer Nick Harris Fry who was on about the same pace, he was very nice and didn’t try to sell me anything. The other game I played was spot the Irish person. I only spotted two, David Callaghan from Tallaght and Brian Lenihan from Blackrock. I beat them both, I didn’t beat the YouTuber.

9. Waiting for Something

I think that I was too happy with tormenting Michael Herlihy. Marathons are waiting games, you keep running at a predefined pace waiting for something to go wrong. Valencia was very unusual as absolutely nothing went wrong, nothing, no stomach issues, no niggles, plenty of gels, perfect 12-degree weather, no wind, excellent magic shoes it was almost too good. Despite the absence of problems, I was terrified of pushing beyond my practiced tormenting Michael Herlihy pace for fear that I would blow up so I kept waiting until the last kilometer.

10. 2:30 for 2:30

I think that it is a horrible feeling when you realize that you are going to miss a sub 2:30 marathon. I only realized when I saw the 800m to go sign. I looked at my watch and it said 2:27:30. 2:30 to get under 2:30. Impossible, 5-minute mile pace. I tried anyway, aided significantly by the downhill bouncy blue mat. When I got onto flat but still bouncy blue mat to the finish, I looked at my watch and smiled. The tormenting of Michael Herlihy had been completed. 2:30:14. The sub 2:30 can wait for another day. It would have been a shame to have no goals left in running.

Great Glenville 4 Mile 2022

10 Things I Think About The Great Glenville 4 Mile

1. Synonymous

I think that I am running out of new places to run races in Cork. Glenville was a new one for me. The word Glenville brings two words to mind John Meade. It is a race that I would assume he would be at, it would almost be wrong if he wasn’t.

2. Industrial Numbers

I think that the race numbers for the race might have been the biggest thickest race numbers I have ever seen. These were industrial style numbers that couldn’t possibly disintegrate no matter how much rain and wind arrived. The bit that I didn’t realize until the end was that they were reusable numbers, at the end the tag was peeled off and collected for reuse. Very good, very green, very Eamon Ryan.

3. Warm Up

I think that the mile warm up only works if you are late and are extremely stressed. If you are late and not bothered about being late a mile warm up is not enough. I had absolutely no adrenaline despite arriving in Glenville 20 minutes before the unusual 11:30am start. I was hoping my new Pink Vaporflys would help but even they felt a bit flat which made me question their authenticity given that they were bought from Goat.com.

4. Big Turnout

I think that it is very difficult to tell who will turn up to these races. The people you expect to turn up like John Meade don’t turn up and the people you don’t like Gavin, Mark Walsh and Alan O’Shea do. There were also an exceptional amount of Vaporflys and Alphaflys on the start line which when combined with an expensive Nike singlet with cooling holes are a worrying sign.

5. Not Feeling It

I think that I have never gotten a worse start than in this race. It is a very favorable start, a short steep downhill that you’d instantly recognize from all the photos of previous years. On the start line we were counted down from 10, I waited for the 1 to go but Alan O’Shea was gone on the 2 or possibly the 3 and everyone else followed. I was left behind in about 8th by the time we began the mile long hill into the wind.

6. Catch Mark

I think that it is great fun tracking someone down in a race. It took until the top of the first hill for the adrenaline to kick in. I felt terrible on the hill, my Vaporflys felt unusually unbouncy and there was a strong headwind. Mark, Alan and Gavin looked like they were gone and there were two orange Nike singlets and Barry from the Barr’s in the gap in between. Thankfully the hill wasn’t that long and was followed by a downhill with the perfect gradient for my legs.

7. Tormenting Mark

I think that I probably shouldn’t have let out the groan I did when I caught up to Mark Walsh. It took until about a mile and a half to catch him. He had sensibly dropped off Alan and Gavin. When I caught up to Mark I let out a Michael Herlihy style groan to torment him. It definitely worked as he pulled my singlet as I went by. It’s very important to beat someone both psychologically and physically.

8. The Descent

I think that the middle two miles of this race are the wonderful. My tormenting of Mark didn’t really work as he just sat in behind me. I could see that Gavin was just sitting on Alan up the road so I thought we had a chance of catching them even though they were about 15 seconds ahead. Even though my Vaporflys didn’t feel as bouncy as normal they seemed to work very well on the gradual downhill. As we reached the three mile mark the group of two became four. Because the Michael Herlihy groan had worked well when I caught Mark I let out a similar groan when we caught Gavin and Alan. On hearing the groan Alan O’Shea turned his head and gave me a look that I can still see.

9. Donie and Con

I think if Donie and Con had been a few more metres away from the finish I might have beaten Alan O’Shea. The last mile unfolded almost exactly as I thought it would except that I beat Mark and came 3rd. I knew that Gavin would destroy us all in the last mile which he did, what I didn’t expect was that I would be so close to Alan. In my head there is no way I should be any where near Alan, he is many boxes ahead of me, I didn’t believe I could pass him, it would almost have been disrespectful. It was only when Donie and Con said it to me with about 300m to go that I thought it was possible. It wasn’t.

10. Hallophobia

I think that I have a fear of halls after races, the last two years have done irreparable damage to my brain. I must have looked very odd standing outside the hall waiting for the photos and prizes. I was terrified of catching a cold or something before the marathon in Valencia next week. It is not normal behavior, but I can’t help it. At least I was brave enough to enter the hall to collect the prize for 3rd and have my photo taken (there was none for Mark in 4th a feeling which I’m familiar with). Liam Tracey fixed my hair for the second photo so if I do get sick, I’ll know who to blame.