All Ireland Senior XC 2018

10 Things I Think About The All Ireland Senior XC

1. It’s Not Cross Country But I Like It

I think that wasn’t a cross country race, that was a road race on tightly mown grass where people wore spikes. It was way too fast and far too well organised. It needed way more muck, longer grass and a few cows to have meandered around the course in the days before. It’s no surprise that a Dub won.

2. Movember

I think no one noticed my Movember. I’ve been trying really hard but it was shorter than the grass on the course. I’ve been washing it with Alpecin shampoo from Germany and everything but it won’t get any longer. It’s just not meant to be.

3. Take a Right for Maxol

I think I’ll remember where the new Maxol is next year. Andrew and I got lost again trying to find the coffee station we went to last year with Viv. We went left instead of right again. Abbotstown is one soulless place. Pharma companies and airplanes landing. The coffee didn’t even work.

4. Warm Up

I think you know it’s not a real cross country race when people are doing their warm up on the course. Warm ups for cross country should be on the road because the field is not possible to run on without spikes.

5. The Black Tent

I think that the black tent is a mystery. I still don’t know why we have to walk through the black tent before we start. I wonder what would happen if you didn’t. You kind of feel like you have to because there is a man saying “make sure you walk through the black tent”. It’s the only race with a black tent. It can’t be important.

6. Elbows

I think there wasn’t enough elbows at the start. It was far too fast. I tried to elbow and shove people but they all just ran away. The start should be narrower and muckier with more of a downhill. No one even fell.

7. Had He His Hurts Before?

I think that it is very cowardly to run a cross country race like Conor and Michael ran today. I’d rather die with my wounds on the front, not by coming through the field methodically with purpose and a plan. That’s a road race. There should be marshal’s like in race walking disqualifying cowardly cross country running.

8. Loughlin

I think I end up running with the same people in these races every year. I’ve been running them since 2009 and it’s the same names being shouted every year at the sides, Loughlin is always there, there’s always a Paraic and a Kevin. It’s kind of sad that none of us get any better or perhaps we are just improving at the same rate or maybe there are many Loughlins.

9. Shotgun

I think I was very clever to wear my sunglasses, I knew that that sun was only hiding, and sure enough on the last lap it was blazing down blinding everyone except me. It was so strong it made shadows. Shadows are excellent because you can tell who’s behind you. I knew Tim Twomey’s shadow, I could see the guns in his hands. Then he passed me and my shadow conclusion was validated.

10. Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair

I think that cross country race wasn’t hard enough, I was on the ground at the end alright but something was missing, there were no ambulances, there were no heaps of bodies, it was like a road race, measured methodical pain. It definitely needed more mud, cows and hills. Give it to Cork or Clare, it’ll be proper then, cross country, not that, whatever that was.