Coachford 5 Mile 2018

10 Things I Think About The Coachford 5 Mile

1. Lies, Damn Lies and Race Flyers

I think the race flyer contained a lie. “Flat Fast Course”. Fake News. If it was a Tour De France stage Dan Martin or Valverde would have won. Very lumpy, lots of Cat 4 climbs.

2. Coachella

I think Coachford is a very nice place, I’d never been there before. They should hold a music festival there like they do in Mitchelstown, there are probably some Beyoncés in Coachford already. They could call it Coachella much better than Indiependance.

3. Anti Social Eating

I don’t think people appreciate the eating habits of runners. I had to dodge a work lunch because I was worried what it would do to my stomach. I’m getting very good at slipping off unnoticed to get a familiar safe known edible form of food, it’s easier than explaining that you’ve a race. Random food causes random problems.

4. Fat Head

I think that my head has gotten less big. I wore my nice yellow sunglasses during the warm up but they were falling off my head. I had to switch to a boring black pair, I did contemplate the pink ones but they just don’t go with the Leevale singlet. It’s always a good idea to have many pairs of sunglasses in the car. I had 6 to pick from. I picked wrong.

5. The Sash The Rose Wore

I think that they should have put that the Rose of Tralee would be at the start on the race flyer. I would definitely have worn my yellow sunglasses for the photo then even if they had fallen off during the race. The photos would have been excellent on Instagram.

6. Adrenaline

I think that it is amazing how adrenaline works. I have had apocalyptically bad legs for the last few days. They feel terrible, very slow and massive. My easy runs are so bad, epically slow, it looks terrible on Strava, people must think I’m diseased or injured. Then you go to the start of race, take some Ventolin do some jumping and you can sprint off at the start like a lunatic. It’s amazing.

7. The Tortoise and The Hare

I think that the battle between Eric and Andrew was more like a cycling race than a running race. I could see up ahead that Eric had dropped Andrew after a mile, after 3 miles it looked like there was the same gap between them as there was between me and Mike and I wasn’t even dreaming of catching Mike. Then the course started twisting and turning so I couldn’t see what was happening up front. I assumed Eric had won, I even said well done to him at the finish, I didn’t know that Andrew had caught him and passed him. I felt bad for Eric. I appreciate his style though, he races like me, I’d like to be like me, just faster.

8. The Sun

I think the sun is making people faster. I had beaten Cian Murphy in The Grant Thornton 5k before I won the race in Berlin (did I mention I won a race in Berlin). I knew that he would beat me today though because it has been sunny so he would have been out running a lot. He only barely beat me though because I’ve been running more too. I hope it starts raining soon.

9. Goody Bag

I think the goody bag was far better than advertised. When I crossed the line there was a kid handing out the goody bags, I asked him if it had anything good in it. “No, not really”. I took it anyway, it had lovely biros, an air freshener which I will never use and a flapjack which went very well with San Pellegrino. An excellent goody bag. The kid was wrong.

10. Race of The Year

I think they need a podium in Coachford. The prizes for the the race were just perfect but the lack of a podium was regrettable. How can you go to the trouble of organising a Rose and then not have a podium? Shocking. Those photos could have been so much better. I was so disappointed. Voted 5 mile race of the year last year apparently and no podium, democracy doesn’t work. Fake news.


Ronán, Andrew and I


Cian, Damien and I


After half a mile looking fantastic.