FMC 5k

10 Things I Think About The FMC 5k

1. Fourteen Accidental Miles

I think that yesterday was the first time that I genuinely accidentally ran more than I intended to. Normally I just lie and say it was an accident, yesterday it genuinely was. I ran with Donal Coffey, I said we’d do 10, then I changed it to 12. Unfortunately we forgot to turn off in Monkstown and had to go up Raffeen because we’d gone too far. The other Donal was very tired after the run, exhausted almost, I was fine.

2. Funny Tummy

I think the stomach bug that I had all week helped today, I’m very light, my mother wanted to feed me which is a very good sign. I’m not sure if it was a stomach bug or a side effect of the Arcoxia and Spanish Difene gel that I was using for the vicious unprovoked kick to the IT band that John O'Connell administered in Seville. Eating food all week was a pointless endeavour. 

3. Traffic Island

I think that Little Island is an awful, awful place. I suppose it’s the price that we have to pay for an economy, god it’s awful. If Little Island was in Spain there’d be no pharmaceutical plants and some long dead dictator would have built a massive pointlessly pretty castle to protect the harbour. It would have been much nicer. 

4. Pockets

I think that I may have looked a little fat with my jacket this morning. I’ve had to fill both pockets of my running jacket with kitchen roll. It’s a precaution I’ve had to take as a result of some serious stomach incidents during the week. I think the risk has passed but better safe that sorry.

5. 5k not 6k

I think that everyone was confused over what distance the race was today. I really didn’t care, I’d prefer not to know the distance, it’s more fun that way. Kieran Mckeown told me he had it changed to 5k because people prefer 5ks. I suppose they do. I think an unknown race distance would be fun. 

6. Elbows Out

I think there was a guy with very long and pointy elbows at the start. I think he must have been a rower, they run like that because of all the rowing, elbows out. I was going to hit him but I wasn’t sure that it wasn’t just Michael Morgan so I didn’t. Tim O’Connor shouted at him. I think I beat him, I’m not sure. The first mile was fast. 

7. Looks like Wind

I think the wind was the price we had to pay for the sunshine. The wind blew away the greyness. It was exceptionally windy for the second k, the lads up front fanned across the road like a load of striking union workers at a unionised pharmaceutical plant. I ran directly into the wind because I believe most problems can be overcome with hard work plus I wanted to be sure of beating Vivian badly which I did, badly. 

8. The Eternal Happiness of the Sub 16min 5k

I think I was a little disappointed that I didn’t run under 16 minutes for 5k. As all runners know if you run under 16 minutes for 5k you’re great and you’ll finally be happy forever with running. I also wanted to do it because Donal Coffey said he’d start trying in races again if I did. I didn’t anyway, I was miles off, miles, well a mile off. I had the first two right. 

9. Fist Bump for Safety 

I think the HSE should run a campaign on fist bumping at the end of races. There must be so many diseases picked up at the end of races from shaking hands. Fist bumping is much more safe, less risk of catching a vicious disease. Fist bump, it’s safer. 

10. Flu Jab

I think you could almost see the diseases circulating in the hall after the race. I stayed for the prize giving just in case I’d won a pair of GAA socks or plates with cows painted on them. I didn’t thankfully. I’m glad I got the flu vaccine on Friday, I know it doesn’t work immediately but I did feel safer in the hall. I had no side effects, if anything I feel better, perhaps the flu vaccine is performance enhancing, all those nasty adjuvants have to be doing something aside from allowing the Russians to read your thoughts.