National Novice XC 2019
/10 Things I Think About The National Novice XC 2019
1. Cow Park
I think that Athletics Ireland must have been listening to my pleas for a Clarecastle like cross country course. Cow Park in Dunboyne was perfect, grass that cows would like to eat with beautiful wet deep mud. Way better than the fake mud and lawn grass in Abbotstown. It was like it was designed by a person from Clare who knows stuff about cross country. Perfect.
2. Whiskey
I think that the only reason I was able to run was because of hot whiskey. I started coming down with a terrible disease on Thursday. It was very bad. My throat felt like someone had rubbed barbed wire up and down it. I tried Strepsils, I even used the ones with Fluribuprofen that no one else knows about but nothing worked. On Friday night I decided that hot whiskey was the only solution so I had three or four and woke up Saturday morning feeling excellent.
3. Worst Decision Ever
I think that Conor's decision to make us warm up on the course was terrible leadership. It was very bad, it looked like it was fine but parts of the course were a complete swamp. Within 5 minutes our shoes and socks were soaked with ice water. Perfect preparation, then we went on the road like we should have done and everything was perfect.
4. Tús Maith
I think that it is impossible to get a good start at the National Novice. Last year I thought it was just the hill that made me so slow, this year I understand that it is just because I'm inherently incredibly slow and starting to get even slower because of oldness. It was very bad, I tried grabbing someone to get some leverage but that just slowed me down even more. I must have been 100th at the first corner. Too far back, at least I knew from experience that all hope isn’t lost after a bad start.
5. Mario Kart
I think that you could make a computer game out of the first lap of the Novice. It's great fun. It's like Mario Kart, there are obstacles everywhere, it's especially fun when you get a terrible start and you have to barrel into every corner to try and get back to your teammates. Playing in goals for 10 years as a kid is perfect preparation for the Novice, catch the big high ball then drive out through everyone in your way, great fun when you're way bigger than everyone else.
6. Course
I think that the course was perfect, a beautiful course. The grass was excellent grass, a nice length where it would catch your spikes when you pulled them out of the ground. The mud was wonderful, way different to the clay like rubbish in Abbotstown, this was real wet mud that you can actually run in. The corners were fantastic, some nice hairpins and a lovely sweeping bend onto the finishing straight. A very excellent course.
7. Donie’s Notebook
I think that there is no more reliable source of data on this planet than Donie's notebook. Because of Donie's notebook we were able to see how we progressed through the field as a group. We ran together like a pack. It was like a terrible Disney Movie about Ducks and ice hockey except it was cross country. I think after a lap we had 108 points by the third lap it was 86.
8. Heywood
I think that I didn't mind getting beaten by Conor, Brian and Heywood. Heywood was ridiculous on the mud, he looked so easy and fresh from the start to the finish, gliding over the mud like a gazelle that hadn't run all four laps. It was so suspicious that I went and checked Strava afterwards to make sure he'd run all four laps even though I saw him at the start and on each lap. Obviously it was very possible in a cross country race with four laps where everyone starts at the same time in a big pen that someone would skip a lap. Amazingly my eyes and Strava concurred, he had run all four laps, all four, like the four of them. He had just run excellently.
9. Lying Down
I think the best feeling in cross country is lying on the cold wet ground at the end of the National Novice. It would be nice if you knew where you'd finished or if you'd won the team but still it's very pleasant. I'd a good long lie down, it was very nice. I was hoping that someone would take a picture of me looking exhausted so that I could put it on instagram but they didn't.
10. Evil Donie
I think that Donie is a very evil man. We didn't have the results after the race so we went and did our cool down after the race without knowing whether we won or not. When we got back he was waiting at the entrance with silver medals for us. We turned them over to see that they were for the Cork team. Our faces dropped. Then he handed us the gold team medals. We beat Ennis Track on count back. We both had 70 points but because I finished ahead of their fourth man we won. Essentially it was all because of me. The Leevale team won because of me. Conor was very grateful to me because it means he can do Newmarket 5k next year instead. I'd rather do the Novice again, it’s my favourite race.
