10 Things I Think About Running

10 Things I Think About The Streets of Portlaoise 2022

1. Nothing

I think that it is very hard to think anything about Portlaoise. When I think about Portlaoise nothing happens. This 5k is definitely the best thing about Portlaoise.

2. Kia EV6

I think that it is a great pity that Michael Herlihy wasn’t able to run in this race. I think that he would have been so happy to see an electric lead car that he might have run very fast after the electric car. Sort of like a dog after a stick with sausages attached to it.

3 Wrinkles

I think that I will have to get a lock for the washing machine room. My Leevale singlet and shorts were extremely wrinkled because Billy is obsessed with turning all the dials on the washing machine while it is on. I’m not sure why he wants to wrinkle all my clothes, perhaps he wants me to stay at home and take him to the playground instead of driving to Portlaoise.

4. Psychological Games

I think that you would want to have a degree in sports psychology to withstand the psychological games that happen on the start line of a race like this. At the start I stood just in front of Lizzie and Anne Marie McGlynn who proceeded to tell me how I was a major target for being chick’d. It’s a terrible feeling to think that they’re tracking you down relentlessly.

5. Stalling

I think that the getting off the line is very difficult when you are tall and everyone around you is small. I had to rear up and jump like a horse at the start to get going. There was no danger of me falling but there was significant risk of someone else falling.

6. Repetitio est mater studiorum

I think that one of the advantages of running races nearly every weekend is that you get very used to staying calm for the first hundred metres. If you haven’t raced in a while the first few minutes are terrifying, can I still do this? When it’s every week it’s like nah it’ll be grand, I’ll get going eventually which I did.

7. Bridging

I think that I did some excellent bridging in this race. I was struggling to find a reason to hurt once we passed through the town for the first time. I felt like I had missed my chance to torment anyone with my slow start, then I remembered that I had a chick’d target on my back. I used some help from Aidan to bridge from person to person up to Bernard’s group which in my head was probably around 1530 pace and unlikely to be chick’d.

8. Mount Laois

I think that the mountain in this race is excellent. It is a terrible hill at the worst possible point of a 5k. Everyone knows that between 3.5k and 4k is possibly the worst point to encounter a mountain in a 5k race. I’m pretty sure this mountain was the reason why PBs were not endangered. This wouldn’t happen in Newmarket.

9. Don’t Look at Your Watch

I think that the finish of this race is wonderful. It is such a great finishing long straight, very long, nearly a kilometre. Races should only be allowed to finish in the middle of towns as the atmosphere makes you run faster. Once we crested Mount Laois I thought I had the better of Bernard as it was downhill with the wind at our backs. Then I committed a terrible sin and looked at my watch. The time on the watch distracted me so I kind of forgot about racing and just drifted in. Never look at your watch.

10. The Aftermath

I think that the aftermath of road races like this is odd. If you don’t run a PB does it really matter where you finished? “How’d you get on? “Meh” is the most common answer. When I was walking back to the car I passed Michael Herlihy, he asked me “how’d you get on”. “I finished ahead of the women”. That was all that mattered.