The Week After The Cork City Marathon

10 Things I Think About the week after the Cork City Marathon

1. Debadification

I think running a marathon gives you very bad legs. On Monday I had Superbad legs, by Tuesday they were Too bad, by Wednesday they were less bad which tempted me back to running. This was not a good idea, I think I'd just gotten used to the presence of badness. The debadification has continued all week. I imagine it will take at least a week to eliminate all the badness.

2. Sleep

I think it's a very bad idea to stay up until 4am the night of the marathon. This may have contributed to the badness.

3. Theresa May

I think that running a marathon turns you into Theresa May. I had absolutely no interest in debating anything with anyone all week. I was a very grey creature with little or no energy and an illogical fear of stairs. I definitely wouldn't have done well in an election.

4. Peasant Wagons

I think peasant wagons are an excellent idea. It is however a very bad idea to try and run to catch a peasant wagon when you've just run a marathon. I blame my current calf niggle on this.

5. Next One?

I think I'm the only person who doesn't get annoyed when asked an hour after finishing the marathon, "when's your next one?" Seems like a perfectly logical question to ask someone who's having severe difficulty getting into and out of a chair.

6. Olivier Giroud

As part of the debadification process I jogged around the Belle of Ballincollig 5k wearing a pair of classy white sunglasses. I got asked by one of the local kids if I was Olivier Giroud. I took this as a compliment, I suppose I was moving very slowly with no chance of scoring but still looked absolutely fantastic.

7. Reverse Dieting

I think the concept of a reverse diet is a wonderful idea after a marathon. It involves deliberately eating more than you need to speed up recovery. Sports science can be used to justify anything.

8. Particle Size

I think I need to be lighter to run a fast marathon. The marathon is the best particle size analyser. It just filters out by size. I'm currently a big particle. I need to be a less big particle. Reverse dieting won't help this.

9. Lessons Learned

Like any good project manager I conducted an extensive lessons learned after the marathon. There were post its everywhere. I think I learned one main lesson. I think I need to run more marathon pace runs. I thought I learned this in Berlin last year butI think I forgot. Come to think of it this happens with most lessons learned.

10. Irish National Championships

I think it was a great idea to buy an entry to the Berlin marathon the morning after Cork. Berlin is not Cork. It will be good to run the national championships again.

Tapering for the Cork City Marathon

10 Things I Think About Tapering for the Cork City Marathon

1. Leaving Cert

The Cork City Marathon is a lot like the Leaving Cert. It's on the first week in June, you pray that the weather isn't hot, you're pretty sure of the questions that will be asked and you get lots of questionable advice from people on how best to approach it. The only real difference is that my mother couldn't care less how well I do in the marathon.

2. Laois Hire

I think those signs on the motorway warning about the impending traffic chaos as a result of the marathon are actually injury inducing. Every time I pass those signs I see the words "you're not running the marathon are you, you'll definitely get injured again like the last time you tried".

3. Religion

I think tapering is against my beliefs. The concept disagrees with me. I have similar beliefs to Trump, I think the human body only has so much energy, except I think you may as well make use of it while you're fit and healthy. If I can run, I'd rather run.

4. Kobe Beef

I think stress is responsible for most niggles and injuries, I'm not a very stressed person but sometimes you have to do stressful things. Apparently Kobe beef is so good because the animals have no stress. This is because they get fed beer, listen to music and get lots of massage. I think I'll do that this week, drink some beer, listen to music and get massage.

5. Niggle

I don't think a marathon would be complete without a career threatening injury or minor niggle. My injury/minor niggle involved my right hamstring taking on the properties of a guitar string. Of course I tried to run on it for two days which played on the tendons at the base of the hamstring. Thankfully a good massage removed the guitar string, unfortunately the tendons remain less than harmonious. They're getting happier every day so I'm not too worried.  I know I'm nearly better because the niggle is moving back to my left calf, in my experience this is the best place to store your niggle.

6. Disease

Disease is another potential threat to a marathon. I used always get a disease before exams. To protect myself from diseased people I have been taking a Yakult every morning and evening along with some more probiotics and Vitamin D. Salazar and Team Sky are always right. I also keep a bottle of hand sanitising gel in the door pocket of the car as you never know when you might meet a diseased person, more marginal gains.

7. Diet

I read that a lot of people use a carbohydrate depletion diet in the week before the marathon. I was tempted by this because it sounded mad and the people In the 1980s running book did it. Then I thought about it logically and realised that it makes no sense to do something you've never done before the week before a marathon, having said that I've never tapered before either.

8. Pace

I think whatever pace I run at will be either too fast or too slow. There are all sorts of pace calculators that you can use. Marco has one and McMillan too. I think I'll stick to the Donie Walsh pace calculator. This is not available on the Internet.

9. Gels

I think gels are a marginal gain that I can live without, I know they help but so do lots of things. I'd rather not end up like Tom Dumoulin at the Giro. Marginal gains can easily turn into major losses.

10.Jinxed

I've probably jinxed the marathon now by writing about it. I don't know why the marathon is so important. You know what, it's identical to the Leaving Cert, you can just do it again if you don't  get the result you want.