Lanzarote 10k 2017

10 Things I Think About The Lanzarote Marathon (10k)

1. Alarm Clock

I think this morning was the first time that I was woken by the sound of a marathon starting. I was too lazy to get up and watch it but I did hear it going off. When I finally got out of bed I met a bear that was dressed in exactly the same colours as me. I like bears.

2. The Wheels on The Bus

I think it’s very intimidating getting a bus to the start of a race, I was on my own and everyone else was in groups, it was like being back in school. The bus driver tried to make us sing songs, it was awful at 10 O’Clock in the morning. I dislike buses even more now.

3. Inhaler

I forgot to bring my inhaler with me on the bus to the start. Thankfully this is Spain where drugs are easier to buy than coffee. I simply walked into a pharmacy dressed in a singlet and shorts and asked for salbutamol. That’ll be €2 gracias. Excellent. Problem solved. I should have asked for something stronger.

4. Coffee

I had 2 hours to kill in Arrecife before the start of the 10k so I had a wander round. It’s a gorgeous little town, genuine not fake like the rest of Lanzarote. I went into a coffee shop and ordered a coffee, then uno mas. When I ordered a third the waiter looked at me like I was asking for an inhaler in a pharmacy. I eventually got my third coffee.

5. If you don’t like the Heat in the Kitchen

I think it was too hot to run today. That was why I ran slower than in the cross country last week. Donal Coffey agrees with me. I don’t know how Brian Hegarty ran so fast. It was boiling. Really hot. Nollaigh O'Neill even said so, so it must be true. Really hot, not making excuses like.

6. Hairspray

I think I’m going to have to make more of an effort with my hair in order to run better. The start of the 10k was incredibly stylish, I was definitely the least excellent looking. One guy looked like he had my haircut but had combed each hair individually over the course of many hours and then used hairspray. It looked excellent. He only passed me after 6km though.

7. Drums

I really want to learn the drums after seeing them at the start. They’re fantastic and it looks so much fun to play them. The world definitely needs more drums.

8. Mad Dogs And Spaniards

Despite the ridiculous midday heat I went off like a scalded cat at the start of the 10k and was on the back of the two skinniest Spanish guys in 3rd place after 2k, then I started to overheat and get slower and slower. Every km a well coiffuered Spaniard would pass me in a stylish colourful singlet. It was really annoying.

9. Ultimo Kilometre

Coming into the last kilometre I was about 7th but my central governor was pleading for exit. The heat makes you question why you are running, even Gary Ohanlon said he was thinking of stopping. I kept going anyway but was passed by two more Spaniards. I didn’t care at that point.

10. Barter

After the race I met the nice lady who gave me ultrasound treatment on my knee for free last night before the race. She remembered my name which was nice. They were doing massage so I hopped on the table. It was €20 but I had no money, I said I’d come back later. At the prize giving Brian Hegarty gave me a bottle of wine. When I me met her later I gave her the bottle of wine instead of payment. She seemed very pleased. It must have been expensive wine. Lanzarote wine is really good, trust me.