Grant Thornton 5k

10 Things I Think About The Grant Thornton 5k 2018

1. Raymond Poulidor

I think losing is a bad habit, I really don’t like finishing second in races. That’s two in a row, no one remembers who came second. I’d prefer to be Jacques Anquetil or even John Meade.

2. Something To Tell You

I think I like going to gigs the night before races. I went to see HAIM last night in Dublin. I like HAIM.

3. Trinity

I think I would be more polished if I had gone to Trinity instead of UCC. I stayed in the student accommodation there last night. Dublin is very expensive, even the student accommodation is expensive. UCC is better. My mother would prefer if I’d gone to Trinity. It would sound better, “my son who went to Trinity”.

4. Roghanna

I think I prefer vegetarian restaurants. It’s much more of a skill to cook good vegetables. I ate a new vegetable called daikon, it’s like a white carrot, very good for running apparently. Cornucopia should come to Cork.

5. Richard Simmons

I think I could have a potential career as one of those pre-race jumping around warm up guys. My jump up and down on the start line was very popular this evening. It works.

6. Red and Blue

I think it was a good idea to wear my blue sunglasses this evening. I wore blue because it matched my new blue non-falling down shorts and my blue shoes. I had a red Nike Gilead singlet on. I think red goes with blue. Feidhlim said my shades were cool. This made me happy.

7. Making The Calculation

I think I’ve forgotten how to win races. It’s actually very hard. You have to be much better than the other people in the race. I tried to win by running faster than everyone else, in theory this is the most logical approach. I thought it was working because I was winning all the way.

8. Will The Real John Meade Please Stand Up

I think John Meade has an identical twin. I was very happy to be winning until 4km, I was worried about Cian Murphy because he is from Kerry and he is much better than me. Then at 4km a John Meade doppelganger came past me. My heart kind of sank. Then I realised it wasn’t John Meade so I tried to follow him. I didn’t believe I could win so I didn’t win. I came second. I don’t know why I didn’t win. Gareth is John’s name.

9. Silver Medal

I think they should stop giving everyone medals at races. When I crossed the line I was given a nice silver medal, I thought “oh great, a silver medal for coming second”, I even showed it to someone who asked how I got on, “I came second (showing my silver medal)”. Then I realised that everyone else had a medal. Then I took off my medal. I felt sad that it wasn’t my silver medal. I’d have liked a silver medal. I might still pretend.

10. Campione

I think it was great to defend Gilead’s title as best company at running in Cork. Pat and I were presented with a nice trophy and had excellent photos taken which I will post relentlessly on Instagram and send to all of the people in Gilead to get kudos for being excellent at running. I like winning.